I dont know Ive NEVER done this before.. I realized something last night I drink way too much. And Ive had experiences before where I ended up in the hosptial almost dying, hooked up too a breathing machine and what not. But, then... I didnt realize how bad I was. I thought hey a lot of people do this daily...My first pregnancy I didnt want to face it because, Id have to stop drinking for nine months so, I didnt want to believe it till I was 2 and a half months pregnant..
Last night... I slipped up and drank $5 cup of beer but, they came ALL night $1 mixed drinks $.50 shots... I drank almost 40 bucks worth of beer... And when, I got home I feel asleep in the tub, and when I woke up I realized.. Im freakn Pathetic... I realized why I drink and Its from depression,anxiety, It helps me feel calmer, less stressed out. Ive been putting my dad thru hell with my drinking since I was in 13 years old. And Now, I just dont know how to stop sometimes. I feel awful because, Ive done so many things in my life. Im not a dumb person. I know Im very smart. Im working, and going to school. But, How do I get help for something like this? If I tell my Boyfriend... He'll probley leave me for having a problem like this. So, I havnt admitted anything. And I love him beyond anything. He saved me from myself... I was 18 and going no where and doing nothing.. Hes 28 and Has something.. he taught me how amazing I can be.. But, I dont feel like that anymore? Is it just me?
Please dont make funn of me for telling a group of strangers this... I just dont know what else to do?
Hi Adriana, welcome to the Miracles in Progress (you are one ) AA board. Thanks for introducing yourself. And don't worry no one is going to make fun of you here. Please feel free to ask as many questions as you wish. Hopefully we can show you that you can be happy, joyous, and free without ever having to drink again.
Welcome to MIP! You are in the right place. No making fun of you here, we all understand. We are here to share our Experience, Strength, & Hope with you to help you understand that you are not alone and we have all been there.
We look forward to getting to know you.
tlc
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__________________ "By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach." ~Winston Churchill
You may not realize it, but admitting that you have a problem is a big step to take. Well done! I just wish that I had admitted it a long time before I did.
There isn't a single person here who will make fun of you. We're all here to support each other by sharing our experience, strength and hope.
There really is life after alcohol. My life is so much better than I could ever of dreamed it would be. It could be the same for you.
Please keep posting and asking any questions that you have and letting us all know how things are going for you, won't you? You're not alone.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Adriana, Welcome to the group. As you can see, you are not alone. And I dont believe anyone is here to make fun or judge. We are here to help. I could not and did not get sober by myself. I reached out for help and it was there, amazing !!
It took me a long while to realize that I drank because that is what alcoholics do ... they drink. I had many excuses and I blamed alot of things and ppl for my drinking but the bottom line was I drank cuz I was alcoholic. Plain and simple. It also took me a long time to realize that it didnt matter how I looked, how smart I thought I was, what kind of car I drove, or where I worked, who I was married to, blah blah blah ... to defend my drinking or not drinking. It had and still has everything to do with my attitude. If my attitude was I wanna get drunk, then guess what ...I got drunk. When I allowed God and AA to help me change my attitude to one of sobriety then guess what ... I got sober !!
I too thought my drinking was normal ... heck, all the ppl I drank with were doing pretty much so the same things I was doing. We drank, got drunk, fell down, broke bones, got into fights, lost jobs, went to jail, etc. I really thought that was all normal behavior. Until .. my last drunk when I realized that booze was in fact going to kill me if I didnt stop drinking. That was the turning point for me, a huge eye opener.
I also with this revelation realized that I was totally incapable of loving another person when I hated myself. I was full of anger, madness, chaos, misery and the like which in turn made it totally impossible for me to love and care for another human being , no matter who that person was. Be it my husband, mother/father, children, co-workers, etc. Sure, I told these ppl on a regular basis that I loved them, but that was a lie, simply giving lip service. I was not able to have a decent relationship with anyone because I was so sick myself. Until ... I got healthy and started to shed the layers of years of hurt, pain and depression that had built up inside of me.
Alcoholics Anonymous can do that for a person if a person wants to be happy, sober and live a really good life. Id suggest you find some AA meetings in your area , read the book of Alcoholics Anonymous to make the all important decision for yourself if you are in fact alcoholic. If you find you are ... Get a sponsor and work the steps of the program.
I can promise you 2 things ..... 1. If you get sober and work this program, Your life will improve drastically. 2. If you dont, your life will get worse ... guaranteed !!
My prayers this morning are that You find the peace and happiness in your life that you deserve.
You're in the right place, Hun. You never have to be alone again. And you never have to drink again. NO one will ever make fun of you. We've all been where you are at this moment.
I'd suggest you look up your local Alcoholic Anonymous and give them a call. Tell whoever answers the phone exactly what you posted here.
Good luck and may God bless you.........
"The journey of a 1000 miles begins with the first step."
((((hugs))))))
Jen
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Welcome adriana! Lots of great shares here and I feel the same. You are on the right path and realizing you have a problem is the first step. Look uop the meetings in your town. Try out a few. You will truly find you are not alone! Best of luck!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Thank you so mucho everyone. I dont know.. Just Im stressing about everything.. And its hard keeping this big secret from my boyfriend, he doesnt know all the things Ive done when I was drunk, or yea... Its hard, I admit it will be because, sometimes when I dont drink or get high, I feel weird, my body gets sick to my stomache and I cant handle it sometimes. I know right now my job is On the line. I have testing for school this Wednesday to graduate with honors.. Im so stressed and its hard not grabbing that bottle in the fridge sometimes. I know Im a bad person. I drank when I was pregnant, I still sometimes find myself taking prenatal pills and Mad dogs 50/50. I want to tell my dad, cuz.. Hes always been there for me. But, I dont want him telling me that Im just getting attention. When I was a cutter, he told me that. And It just broke my heart too pieces... I didnt understand. But my dads parinoid scizo with Homicidal tendicences .. And Hes afriad I learned... That I wont be like him.. And its depressing sometimes because, he and me both know I am ...
Since Ive read all your guys comments and replys... I stopped drinkiing since Halloween night. Now, I know thats not many daze to a strong person. But, to me Its soo many.Getting High though not very luckie in that department. I just keep jumping back and forth from marijuana to Liquor. Its sad one time I was so desprate I found myself sipping Listorine. Pathetic.. I know.. Im not proud... But... I do want to change. I want to be able to have children and not hurt them anymore with my drinking. I want a healthy baby. And its hard not thinking about myself sometimes...
Newbie to Newbie... I hope that I can go as many days as you have without drinking. I don't rembember the last time I went without it. Maybe 8 years ago. Your few days of not drinking is only something I can hope for. I try to go without every night, but have been unscessful at it. In fact, this morning I dumped out a 1/2 bottle of vodke (the half gallon) because I was convinced I wasn't going to drink tonight. Well guess what... I went and bought a new bottle. How pathetic am I??? You are doing aweseome :) keep up the good work :)
In fact, this morning I dumped out a 1/2 bottle of vodke (the half gallon) because I was convinced I wasn't going to drink tonight. Well guess what... I went and bought a new bottle. How pathetic am I???
Done that many, many times, Hun......It doesn't mean you're 'pathetic' it means you have an illness........ (((hugs)))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Doll wrote:I stopped drinking for 7 daze.. And its not a lot I know.. But, for me It is. I was stressing angry as hell at everyone. And I messed up Friday Night.. I stayed drunk till sunday morning..What am I going to do.. I cant tell my bf.. Or my family.. Sometimes. I want to leave and not be rememberd Im just a disappointment.. I drink when Im happee, depressed, sad, angry... ?? What is there for me to do?
sn11 wrote:
In fact, this morning I dumped out a 1/2 bottle of vodke (the half gallon) because I was convinced I wasn't going to drink tonight. Well guess what... I went and bought a new bottle. How pathetic am I???
Done that many, many times, Hun......It doesn't mean you're 'pathetic' it means you have an illness........ (((hugs)))
) AA board.