I try to be as proactive as I can and with the holiday season fast approaching I want to have a plan in place. This will be the 1st Christmas I will be spending alone, and not really looking forward to it.
Who else has faced this ? Where did you go ? What did you do ? Finances are not a problem anymore. I have a friend who lives in Bermuda and he and his wife have invited me down. Am I running from the problem if I go ? Are there A.A. holiday destinations ? A.A. holiday get togethers ?
The holiday was always marked with strife when I was growing up, but came to mean a lot to me when I was married and had a family. I fear it will be more of an obstacle, or barrier in keeping me from being happy as I am just beginning to heal. The wounds are still open, and I am extremely adverse to rubbing salt into them. I will be focused on what I don't have anymore, rather than what I do have. I'm still in the learnin' curve. Know what I mean ?
Please don't say '1day at a time, Scott, 1 day at a time'.
-- Edited by mstrmsn66 at 23:44, 2008-10-29
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I'm proud to say I am an Alcoholic, and my name is Scott.
If the plan for me is divinely inspired, no man shall find fault with where I am today, or how I got here.
I work EVERY holiday & when my son was small he would spend them with his father...Before sobriety Thanksgiving and Christmas day (after work) was renting a movie and having plenty of expensive wine on hand. In sobriety, I now volunteer to hang out at work so others with families can go home early. Instead of the movie and wine I go to an AA meeting straight from work. There are plenty of us with no place to go, no family to be with so there is always food and plenty of sober drunks hanging out the whole day. I find this year that I'm looking forward to those holidays...... "Firsts" are always tough for us, but anything is do-able.
(((hugs)))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
If you're planning to travel you might check out a destination that has an alcathon planned. I'm in the CT area and they do one on Xmas and one on New Years. 24 hours of straight meetings and fun!
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even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you --Psalm 139
If you're planning to travel you might check out a destination that has an alcathon planned. I'm in the CT area and they do one on Xmas and one on New Years. 24 hours of straight meetings and fun!
Good idea. Bermuda sounds good (I lived there in the 60's. Elbow beach is awesome!!) as long as the people that you are visiting aren't old drinking pals or people that aren't fully aware of your situation with alcohol. I would defineately not go if you're trying to keep that to yourself, because you might feel compelled to drink, especially with a holiday meal ect... Going to AA meetings abroad is great fun. I've attended them in about 8 countries plus Guam when I lived there. In Costa Rica the meetings were in spanish (they made me speak with an interpreter) and I still got what I needed there. See if you can make some contact via the internet about meeting locations and times.
If you decide not to go, there should be lots of AA meetings with holiday dinners and meetings till midnight, Christmas eve ect.... In my first year I attended several Christmas dinners and hung out with "my family of choice". The fact that you're asking this leads me to believe that you're not connecting to meetings and sponsor as well as you should be. Now's the time to find some AA clubs (and more established meetings) and get acquainted with a home group (or groups) reach out and share your circumstances. Often people in your situation will be invited to have holiday meals with AA families. My mother had half a dozen people over for T-day and Christmas dinners every year for 15 years. I seriously never new who was going to be there and it was special getting to know those people and see them having a good time.
This is not the time to pull the "Lone Ranger" act and try and tough it out. Get involved.
Since my family doesn't do holidays ON the holidays (we do thanksgiving a couple of weeks early and Christmas in January) I usually go to meetings on the holidays. As someone here said, some places do alcathons, meetings 24 hours a day for the holidays. I've never had the opportunity to try that, but it sounds like a really neat idea, especially for newcomers who are struggling with the holidays. The meetings I've been to on holidays usually do an "eating meeting" and everyone brings food so we can have a holiday dinner together.
I agree with Dean, Bermuda sounds good, but only if these aren't old drinking buddies and they know your situation with alcohol! If you're looking for AA travel, I've seen lots of ads about AA cruises and stuff, just do a search on google and I'm sure you'll find something!
Volunteer at a soup kitchen or around here alot of people have open house (aa buds) and lots of meetings....Ask around and Im sure there are a ton of people who have (aa) plans.
If the friends are safe, heck yea...bermuda here I come!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Well done in your continuing sobriety, Scott :) All excellent suggestions here & with your newfound freedom as freelance Soberviber you can go & do whatever you like & live to remember & tell the tale. This will be my third sober Xmas & New Year & I love my AA buddies & Sobervibing pals. There is no shortage of fun & quality times you can have. Have your mind open for plans but don't worry or project too much you know it really is 1Day@aTime ;D lol Keep up the goodwork, Scott. I'm overjoyed that we're walking together ;) Danielle x
-- Edited by Sobrietyspell at 07:47, 2008-10-31
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
