well its 88 days today. Started new job yesterday and like it (so far)
Lately, I've been justifying in my head why I can handle one drink because I've 'changed'. I know that's b.s. and I know I won't, especially after seeing a friend I haven't seen in a while on my lunch break (lives 1 block away) and gave him a hug and WHOA!!! Reeked of alcohol. This guy has 20 yrs on me and has probably been drinking as long as I've been alive. That 'sobered' me up quick. I've been to his house at 8 a.m. and he's on his 6th beer. In all my past drinking, I never 'waked and dranked' (well few times, not everyday) Always waited til at least noon.
But I'll be honest, I'm starting to get the urge that I haven't had in a long time. I've been reading the boards but what I really need to do is go to a meeting soon.
I did visit a bunch of friends 30 min ago with BOTTLES and BOTTLES of Sake on their table, and I just drank tea.
Some days I don't think about it at all, some days I'll watch a Wizards game and see Antawn Jamison and think mmmm Jameson....whats a few shots gonna hurt. But I'll be back to square one. It aint easy. For me at least.
It's so good to see you posting again. And, congrats on day 88! That's terrific. Well done.
Occasionally, I used to think that I could have just one drink. Then, I would think back to the hundreds and hundreds of times when I said that I would only have one drink. I never, ever, managed it.
What helped me was getting to meetings, speaking with my sponsor and sharing in the rooms how I was feeling. It always amazed me how many people had been exactly where I was. I gained so much strength from them all.
Just hang in there and it does get better.
Congrats on the new job, too!
Please keep posting, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
I too have to attend meetings regulary. I have a built in forgetter and too much time away from AA my mind starts to tell me maybe I can have just a couple! That's the cunning, baffling part of the disease of alcoholism.
I go to meetings to continue to remind myself that I was an alcoholic yesterday, I am an alcoholic today and I will be an alcoholic tomorrow.
glad you're still with us......... ((((hugs)))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Agreed. Just like the handful of times I quit smoking for a week, 5 days, etc. Ahhh it's just one cigarette, or even one puff! Back to square one. I won't let that happen with drinking.
Found out today a 'friend' was arrested for 1st degree murder back in Feb. That was a shocker. If it was a good friend, I don't know what I would have done. This guy borrowed 500 bucks from me, claiming it was to help his 10 yr old daughter. Turns out it was for drugs. He disappeared for awhile, paid me 50 back, never saw him again. Then my friend sends me a link today '4th suspect -------- ______ found and arrested for kidnapping and 1st degree murder'.
Sorry that was completely off topic. But I will hit a meeting tomorrow. Tomorrow is 90 days!
wow...... kidnapping and murder? Alcohol and drugs can turn ANY of us into criminals. It has such power over us, and not to be taken lightly. Anytime I start to think, "Aw, shucks, it won't turn out THAT bad for me........" WRONG. Not willing to take that chance today.
Good on you for sharing. Sounds like you have a lot of triggers swirling around. Hope you can continue to overcome them through the power of the program. Dry people in Dry places works for me.
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Hey Mike, congratulations on the new job !! 90 days without a drink, very good. Are you going to meetings, do you have a sponsor, are you working the steps??? If not, plan on getting drunk, for the obsession will take over.
