Thank you all for your well wishes for my one year sobriety bday! It certainly inflated my ego....Along with the very cool coin I got from my sponsor and gifts from various friends!! Boy am I all that or what!? My ego was further inflated by the many phone calls and hugs I receive from my home group and my sponsor's home group and all of your posts....yep, Im all that and more!!!!
Then the reality of this big old inflated ego hit me! A friend in the program had been boasting each month that passed by how long she had in the program. Each month she was sure to hit her home group on the day of her anniversary to proudly share how many days she had in...She always questioned how long I had each time I saw her and wondered why I didnt share more how long I had....
She shared with me last week that after "17 months" she had relapsed. "Now you have more time than me," she stated! I simply hugged her and welcomed her back.....
So, this reality hit me hard when I was gloating about having a year!! Yes I did feel very proud and believe it was a huge accomplishment for this gal....But, I realize, every single one of us has JUST TODAY!!!! I am no better or no worse than anyone else in AA! Feeling kinda judgemental sharing this but the fact is by her sharing where she was with me, it reminded me that it is a one day at a time program. We only have today and by the grace of God, I am still here and sober!!!
"..a constant inventory which can reveal when I am off the road is always in order!!!!"
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Thanks Lani! Just what I needed to hear. Congratulations.
I am struggling, drank at 19 days then again at 58 days and was punished by another soberA in my life pretty harshly. Didn't even get "drunk" 2 drinks at a time. I know - taking the first one counts - but I am glad (not proud) I didn't get smashed, didn't drive drunk - or cause any havoc in my life.
For me - I made a mistake and failed on my commitment to myself - and the only person I am hurting is myself. I need not worry about judgement from others - it isn't about them.
But - on the other side - the support and encouragement sure feel good - and you deserve it. Not because you are better than anyone else - but because you are being a good example and helping others.
You helped me today. Thank you.
tlc
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__________________ "By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach." ~Winston Churchill
Just what I needed to hear too!! I am coming up on a year, but it is not the first year.... I have not been paying any attention to time, at least not the way I used to. I used to set myself up for a real doosey by doing such.
Enjoy your first anniversary, and with a good program under you, you will not have to ever have a SECOND first year!!!
Thanks for the dose of humility today, just what I needed to keep focused on 24 hours at a time!
(((((hugs)))))
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Thanks for sharing... a good reminder that we can only take it one day at a time! I made a big deal about how many months I had, up until my first year. That's mostly because I had relapsed at nearly 9 months before, so making it to 9 months this time around was a really big deal to me. But after I hit my 1 year mark, it just wasn't as big of a deal. I don't know now how many months I have, if I were to look at it in months, unless I stop and think about it.
