Obviously, the dilemma of the wanderer from faith is that of profound confusion. He thinks himself lost to the comfort of any conviction at all. He cannot attain in even a small degree the assurance of the believer, the agnostic, or the atheist. He is the bewildered one. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 28

The concept of God was one that I struggled with during my early years of sobriety. The images that came to me, conjured from my past, were heavy with fear, rejection and condemnation. Then I heard my friend Eds image of a Higher Power: As a boy he had been allowed a litter of puppies, provided that he assume responsibility for their care. Each morning he would find the unavoidable byproducts of the puppies on the kitchen floor. Despite frustration, Ed said he couldnt get angry because thats the nature of puppies. Ed felt that God viewed our defects and shortcomings with a similar understanding and warmth. Ive often found solace from my personal confusion in Eds calming concept of God.