cramcj01 wrote:

---

Hello!  I'm 25.  I just finished detox at an in-patient psychiatric hospital about 3 weeks ago.  I have not yet drank.....and don't plan on it .  I have a ton of questions but here is my first.  I am currently going to AA meetings and all of my counseling.  Everything they have set up as my "plan" I have been following through with, but I have such an empty feeling after coming home from the hospital.  I don't find pleasure in anything nor have any energy to be sad, or angry.  I am just plain blah.  Do you think that this is because it is my first time dealing with life without alcohol?  I guess I was always numb before.  If this is a ormal feeling, how long will it last?  I just want some emotions back, whether negative or positive.  I actualy cried the day they told me I was able to leave the hospital.  Everyone else there was so happy when they were able to go home.  It upset me to leave.  I felt safe there, like I belonged.  Can anyone relate or tell me if this is normal?

---

Welcome  cramcjo1,

All that you have discribed, I would consider to be normal reactions to early sobriety.  The reason that we drank was generally to stuff our feelings, because we were in pain.  Feelings are a package deal and all go together.  Don't be in a hurry to experience them just yet.  Secoundly,  when we drank, we countinously craved excitement.  And because of our "all or nothing" philosophy, we absolutely abhored boredom or any other mediocre experience.
We have to change our mind about this, or as the big book says  "we had to let go of our old ideas absolutely".  Boredom means that everything is ok, we're safe, it's peaceful, and danger is not close.  Learn to embrace boredom.  Boredom = good  . 

Your goal now is to make lots of friends in the program, and buy time.  You've no doubt heard of making 90 meetings in 90 days.  That is a good stagegy.  I went to a metting every day for over 3 years to insure my continued sobriety.
Plan of going to meetings 15 minutes early and stay 10 minutes late.  Introduce yourself to 2 people before and after.  Tell them that you need to get connected.
Ask where people are hanging out,  coffee, dinner, breakfest, softball, bowling, movies whatever.  Fill your schedule with activities with these people. 

The opposite of this is staying at home felling sorry for yourself thinking that sobriety sucks and thinking about getting together with your old friends and drinking again, because that's what will happen if you don't make a new life with people who are staying sober.    Don't mean to pound on this, but it's the missing ingredient in programs that lead to relapse.  Get busy

 

Dean 




-- Edited by StPeteDean at 17:37, 2008-09-27

Welcome to MIP, cramcj01. It's great that you've found us here. Lots of recovery love & support for you here which will help quell those feelings of loneliness & isolation. Meetings are a fantastic way of filling your time & learning how to live newly sober & deal with life as it comes, including emotions when they start sifting up. I likened early sobriety to a movie I hadn't seen yet cuz everything I did sober seemed like new which helped me to feel like I was getting a real second chance at life. It does feel strange to begin with. Very strange but you will become used to it & building up your confidence & natural happiness.

After about 10wks of not drinking I started to get little natural highs where some kind of alcohol induced depression was lifting for me & all of a sudden I started to get all kinds of new feelings or emotions or at least I was beginning to notice them & their relevance more closely. I noticed I had quite a temper to begin with though that passed with time too so don't be surprised or perturbed if you experience some mood swinging. It is all par for the course & StPeteDean has given you some good advice there. Nestle in at meetings & share where you're upto. All of it counts & as you identify with others, so too will they identify with you.

It's a wonderful non alcohol life you're working for now & 2yrs on I can assure you it is ALL worth it. Everything you've been through, are going through & will go through is ALL worth it 1Day@aTime. Your life will get better with each small step. Keep it in the Day & keep on reaching out for help. Other alcoholics helping you will be helping them too so you see, we're old friends already ;) It's really lucky that you have a chance of this at 25. I gave up drinking age 29 six months before my 30th Bday but 25 would have been just as useful if not more so. It's good that you know today that you cannot safely take a drink. Some never realise & suffer horrendous lives as a result. We are very fortunate to have this alternative.

Welcome again to MIP & AA. I hope you keep coming back & sharing some more with us. God bless. Never alone again ;) Daniella x


-- Edited by Sobrietyspell at 18:19, 2008-09-27

I appreciate all of the replies....please keep them coming! Thank you for the encouraging words. Like I said before, I have lots of questions that I would like to ask everyone. But, I will let that one soak in for a night before I ask more, as not to overwhelm myself : ) LOL Thanks again, I am thankful I found this site.

Hi Cristal
Welcome to MIP! Glad you found this site!
I totally immersed myself in meetings, sometimes 2-3 a day in the beginning... I just wasnt quite sure what to do with myself. Meetings helped alot...It took myself out of myself!! I met new people and got womens phone numbers. Hang in there. You do almost feel surreal...Look around..You will be suprized and amazed at all the beauty around you that you missed while drinking! That was an early gift I cherished!

Welcome to MIP, so glad you are here, I love this board, everyone is so supportive, you are not alone, we are here for each other.  Yep, and Dean hit the nail on the head, I completely agree with him.

I love being sober, but it took a little while and finding new friends was huge.  I found friends in meetings and here online.

Soberity Rocks, Deb