Hi all, I shared on here a short while ago about my son who I thought was an alky in the making and things have progressed very quickly since then. Once he has had that first drink, like us he will got to any lengths for more until he physically passes out.
Three days ago, I got a notice of impending prosecution for speeding at double the limit in my car, ive never had a speeding ticket before and although I drive a sports car, my son always said I drive like a granny. I was very confused until I studied this letter and realised that it was at 3.20 last Sunday morning when I had been in bed for 4 hours. I rang the police who asked me to send pics of my car in to see if someone had duplicated my number plates and i asked them where the place that the camera was because I didnt know it. They said to ring the camera people so I did. They said it definately wasnt me because the pic was good and it was a very tall male with short cropped dark hair. My son was livid thinking somebody had took our car (and returned it with the keys, i dont think so). Anyway, on the saturday night, I had come home from a meeting to find my son with his mates all in the house drinking. I dont allow drink in the house so told them all to go. He came back about an hour later and told me how he had gone to an ex drinking buddy of mines house and threatened her for calling me. He went to bed and the next morning I spoke with him and he didnt remember very much.
Im sure you can all guess now, its him in the car on the speed camera and he is really scared because it was done in a blackout and he doesnt remember a thing. He know will be prosecuted for driving whilst on a ban, driving with no insurance, driving with no licence etc etc etc. These things dont scare him as hes been there so many times before but he IS scared about taking the car in a blackout and what If he had killed somebody.
On Thursday night, i got home from a meeting and he said he had done a questionaire on the A.A. website and I asked what he had gotten from it and he said he thinks he is an alcoholic. He went to his first A.A. meeting last night and was made really welcome and intends to go to another one tonight.
What a lovely life he will have if he sticks at it, can you imagine getting what we have at such a young age.
WoW! His being more afraid of what happened than the consequences he now faces with the legal aspects are a good sign. It shows a healthy way of thinking that alcohol hasn't totally destroyed. I would say that he's on the right track, and has a bright future ahead and a full life to enjoy it.
Just a suggestion, don't be an "Overbearing Mom", don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you are but let others help him. Let him go. Let him find his way in the rooms as you did.
I have goose-bumps here just trying to imagine how you feel.
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Until I know what I'm doing, I'll ask questions from someone who has what I want. If I don't like the answer, it's probably the one I need!
Hey there Kaz. Wow, did you take me back to the last 3 yrs with my 17 yr old son. Everytime he got in trouble with the law he would "AA up". He'd go to meetings just long enough to convince me he wanted to help himself and as soon as I'd payed lawyer's, court costs, etc, he was right back out! This kid is GOOD at AA talk to once again get me and other's to enable him.
Most recent was last weekend. He had an outstanding warrant that finally caught up with him and spent Saturday night in jail. THIS time, I did NOT bail him out. THIS time he'll just have to get a public defender. He's in the process of trying to decide if he is convicted how will HE be able to pay fines, restitution, etc or should he just serve time and be done with it.
It took a lot of heartache and tears but I have finally accept the 3 "C's" - I didn't cause it, I can't cure it and I can't control him.
Letting go has been the best thing for us both. I get to keep my serenity without guilt and he gets to face the consequences of his own actions.
This old gal was real tired of carrying the shovel to pick up the kid's shit! So, I've laid it down.
I'm so glad your son has gone to a meeting. I pray it will 'take'
((hugs)))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Terrific news, KLT. That's prayer and a good example (you) at work. I am so happy for him, and for you too. I hope he finds this path as wonderful as we all have. (((hugs)))
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Matay, I agree with the overbearing mum bit totally. I took him to his first meeting last night and then to his second tonight. From there when the meeting had finished he went onto his third meeting which is a later one with a couple of the guys. He came out of the meeting I was at equipped with his own meeting list and some telephone numbers.
Doll, I so know where your coming from with your son but ive never ever bailed mine out when hes got into trouble, he knows hes on his own. He got himself into it and he can sure as hell get himself out of it. In truth, I dont know whether or how long he will stay around, I am just praying for Gods will for him. I learnt the 3cs many years ago when I was banging my head against a brick wall with his behaviour.
Thanks KLT...that is a great share and Im so glad you have the tools to deal with this! Prayers up to you and your son!!!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
gday KLT if your son doesnt keep up the AA apearances, just know, that the AA seed will be planted already in his heart, if he didnt like the first meeting he would not have sat for another two, so which ever way he goes, the message wont leave him, cheers peter.
The best advice I ever heard from the Al Anon program, and subsequently by AA sponsors at meetings, was "Never deny an alcoholic his suffering... it may save his life". I am so proud of you moms and dads and spouses out there practicing this every day. It must be very difficult at times, but I see again and again through you all just how it works... and it DOES.
((((hugs))))
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
