I don't know why I don't feel the usual (for the past 5 weeks of being very sober except for a sip one Saturday nite, and one lite beer the following Saturday..... I'd come to enjoy this huge energy surge and optimistic, almost manic in my happiness with sobriety.
Today started off fairly normal; I know I've kept later hours this week watching the RNC, and feeling good about the ticket, and Sarah Palen (not to get on a political kick)....but this morning - after the weeklong 5.5 hours sleep, I just felt tired, even with a good day of working ahead of me....the office depressed me; I am feeling some never ask me about my business (as they must all know I've been licensely grounded AND knew the reason?), the day wore on, my throat seemed sore, and my optimistic attitude seemed to grind to a halt; left my office early to finish some no brainer work at home in front of the TV. I was and still am wishing I had a beer or a glass of wine....SO, I thought I'd unload my thoughts on y'all! I've been looking forward to the weeekend at home after a hectic traveling one last weekend...Hate these negative feelings and do not want to drink. AND WILL NOT. Thanks for listening. I'm overdue for a meeting; my euphoria with having lots of work on my plate which, with my work patterns, did not allow me to leave for the noon meeting; guess I should have today for sure. Can't wait till (and hoping it does happen) my eye heals enough that night driving is possible again. See you all - Rosie, that is great - redoing your room! PJ
Hi PJ, Yes the room is such a great feeling. I need my own space that is finally just mine without memories. My bath room is next!
I know how you feel and those slumps are hard to take. It seems things just pile up here and there and those feelings and life seem to be too much to take for some unexplainable reason. Because what is the difference if we put booze in us and get through it or just get through it.
Well we know the answer. We are not hungover and regretful if we just get through it......
And we can learn a lot about ourselves
I hope you feel better. God bless and you sound like you have been very busy which is good but easy does it also. Rosie
And missing meetings can throw eveything into a turmoil.
The more meetings I go to....the better I feel...and life on lifes terms...seems a lot easier to deal with.
Phil: this is so true. For my first year or so back sober again, I would get into a repetitive cycle: go to lots of meetings, feel much better, feel so good I thought I could cut down some on meetings, then get "set off" on an emotional bender for no apparent reason, then start going to lots of meetings, feel much better, cut down on meetings again, etc, etc, etc. One day, my sponsor asked me: "Don't you see the pattern?" The light finally came on.
PJ- to make you feel better,"manic" episodes last for several weeks, so your not exactly going that route...i know how you feel. Shoot, I can go from serene to questioning if i have the disease, all in a matter of hours...keep hangin in there!
