I think tlcate is referring to the portion of the meeting when those with less than 30 days sober raise their hands and then identify themselves as newcomers. It was the fear of this "humiliation" that kept me drinking for two years after blowing my 18 years sober. It is also an important step on the path from "humiliation" to humility. My sponsor, too, made me "raise my hand" at each and every meeting for the full 30 days. Painful, but necessary.
I resisted identifying myself as a newcomer and then resented that no one was introducing themselves and talking to me, like they were to the other "newcomers" who had identified themselves. This was just me sabotaging my success, by not following directions, as usual. I didn't get the embarrassment from admitting that I was an alcoholic, I just felt shy and didn't want the group's attention. I'm sure it contributed to my 2 years of floundering and certainly kept me from meeting people and making friends. When I finally got a real sponsor, he made me go to several meetings per week with him and had me sit up front, or at the table, near the chairperson and be one of the first people to share. A good habit to get into instead of my normal routine of hiding in the back and never sharing.
I've never heard of that tradition...At one of my groups, they ask at the start of every meeting for anyone who has had a drink since their last meeting to raise their hand...When I first started going to that meeting, i would drink after every single one...So, I was raising my hand every meeting and thus the group was forced to do the 1st step for like 3 straight weeks..lol.
I stopped raising my hand even though i was still drinking...it was the best thing for the group lol
Oh, sometimes I forget that not everything is exactly the same in every A.A. meeting throughout the world. Goes to show you how limited my view of things can get sometimes. Here in southern California, it's pretty typical at most meetings to have newcomers (those with 0-29 days sober) as well as visitors from out of town to raise their hands and introduce themselves.
My problem was that I tried going to meetings where nobody knew me from the past years sober so that when I raised my hand as a newcomer, I wouldn't feel so humiliated. But, that didn't work. I think my Higher Power needed me to do the full "surrender" by admitting that I was new at meetings where people knew me as a past convention speaker, Big Book "thumper," sponsor of many, etc. I was sweating, my knees were shaking (here, you actually stand up after you raise your hand and then state your name and that you're an alcoholic), and I could barely get my name out. Boy, I'm glad I'm writing this--reminds me of what I DON'T want to have to do again. I'm going to keep coming back.
OH! Now I understand. We have some chairpersons that will ask if anyone is new or coming back, but they do it in such a positive way I wouldn't see it as humilitation. ...... also, I have heard some say their sponsors directed them not to speak in meetings for the 1st 30 days. My sponsor was just the opposite. She encouraged me to share. She wanted me to share. She said ' a problem shared is a problem halved.' But she wanted my shares to be limited to what's it's like then let others chime in with what it's like now.
I agree that's its not always about quantity but qualilty. As we've got some with double digits but they're not sober, they're just dry! And it's sooooo obvious.
-- Edited by Doll at 08:47, 2008-09-06
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
when you go to a meeting in australia just inside the door is a book, you can sign it with your first name only, and also if you are an observer , newcommer or visitor from another state, but putting your hand up? thats pretty rough, with the shame that women feel, i doubt many would put there hands up at all. the book is then sat in front of the person leading the meeting, and people are asked if they would like to share, by the leader of the meeting, and if your observant you know the new comer by there face anyway, cheers peter.
Yes, I agree that for many - even me - there is shame in raising your hand. But what happens when you do it EVERYONE CLAPS. Few things here, for me. First - I have to admit it. There is a HUGE freedom in raising my hand and saying "My name is 'tlc' and I am an alcoholic". Second, the applause is very reassuring. You are not met with silent judgement. Third, this identifies you so others can come and talk to you after the meeting.
You don't "have" to raise your hand. You can go as long as you like and just listen. My sponsor said I have to raise my hand and I believe it is for the same reasons I have listed above.
It is very interesting to hear how it goes in other countries. I hope to get to experience it some day.
tlc
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__________________ "By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach." ~Winston Churchill
This was just me sabotaging my success, by not following directions, as usual. 
I didn't get the embarrassment from admitting that I was an alcoholic, I just felt shy and didn't want the group's attention. I'm sure it contributed to my 2 years of floundering and certainly kept me from meeting people and making friends. When I finally got a real sponsor, he made me go to several meetings per week with him and had me sit up front, or at the table, near the chairperson and be one of the first people to share. A good habit to get into instead of my normal routine of hiding in the back and never sharing.
