Hi All, I went to my nephews wedding and had a wonderful time. They had sparkling cider instead of champagne and no one had a drink at all who was there. I found that to be such a blessing and everyone laughed and loved told stories and it was a gorgeous wedding on a gorgeous day!!

At the end of the wedding we all were cleaning up and getting everything tore down and I walked into the garage and my sister had a slim can of something in her hand and come to find out it was a beer. I had never seen those.

My brother who is sober 22 yrs walked over and told her that someday she would not need that in a very loving way. She looked a bit mad but she was good about it. I noticed she went and threw it away right after that.

I felt good that I was not drinking and very blessed to feel every moment of the day. I got a lot of nice photos.

The alcoholism just does not get better without treatment. It is a dis-ease and needs to be treated as one. Lonliness has been an issue for me and by reaching out I feel stronger and more hope.

The anxiety from drinking and panic and just the plain hell of it all is no way to live or die. Someone at the wedding was talking how they quit smoking and someone else who smokes said "well you got to die of something" and the person who quit smoking said "well at least I will die healthy!"

I feel that hit home and something I have been feeling for months now is that I do not want to die with this demon on me.

I am tired today and just as I dozed last night at 10 pm my middle son called and I got back to sleep and my youngest son and his girl stopped to pick some things up that she needed for work. So I ended up restless the rest of the night.

It was a nice sleep to that is hard to come by......but today I am going to rest and treat my dis-ease.

All I know it feels good to FEEL my life instead of putting poison in me that is killing me in every way. Take care Rosie