Hi Jen

Ill share some of my experience, why, just last night, a couple of people after the meeting started talking about another AA member and I just dont think its appropriate, I am pretty sure its mentioned somewhere in the big book, not to gossip about others, anyway, they went on a bit and looked at me and I said, gee, I really dont like to talk about members when they arent here.  Sure, its human to observe the behaviour of others, but this AA program is about observing and working on OUR stuff.  Heres the thing, I want the freedom to me, I drank for all those years because I didnt feel worthy enough, to just be me.  So now, that I am sober and comfortable in my own skin, I have the freedom to be me.  Its very important that allow everyone else the freedom to be themselves, whatever that may be.

As to the money issue, before I got truly sober, I tried to fill my God Shaped Hole, with all kinds of things, especially money.  I was more focused on money than my AA program.  Working the program, one day at time, has helped me experience one of the promises mentioned on page 83-84, fear of economic insecurity will leave us.  In the past, I spent a lot of time thinking about how I would spend my money, when I hit my bottom and ran out of money, I discovered that working the AA spiritual program is much more full-filling than counting and spending money.  Whew.  Best thing that could have ever happened to me.

As to a sponsor who doesnt make a lot of meetings, well, no comment.

Hope this helps, Jen, you deserve someone who has developed the skill to listen without interrupting you, thats what good sharing and listening is all about, yeah?

All the best, Deb

-- Edited by FindingFreedom at 10:36, 2008-08-30

Hi Jennifer,

I shouldn't be surprised that I see the same thing written by you that I experienced.  At different times in my sobriety, I noticed different things about my sponsors that led me to look for a new sponsor.  I had outgrown my sponsor or my sponsor had relapsed.   A few times I had talked to my sponsor and she worked on the issue, (not that I'm always right, but in that case I was), and it ceased to be an issue.

Different people had different things to teach me, and rather than limit myself to being taught by one person, (I haven't been lucky enough to find all that I need to learn coming from one person...), soon, there was someone else to learn from.  I didn't "FIRE" my sponsor, but I explained that there was an opportunity for me to learn with someone else and that I needed to do that for my recovery.  I kept my friendship with my sponsor and we are still friends today.  

I felt it was important to keep a sponsor who had what I wanted, not only in sober & clean time, but also in spiritually and actions.  I knew they weren't always going to be "perfect".  I knew though, if they were truly working a program, they would see their own errs and try to make amends quickly. 

Perhaps you've outgown your sponsor?  Or you have learned from her that which you were meant to learn?

Love & Hugs,
Stephanie

gday doll, peter from adelaide south australia here, if your sponsor is not living up to the standards that they preached to you in the beginning and you can remember very well what they said then and what they are saying now, then i would actually use there own words of past encouragement to you to help raise them up out of their own mire.
a sponsor is as weak as the rest of us here and there and sometimes the best person to reach them is actually the person being sponsored,
it looks to me like your sponsor is just going through a hard time , remember a sponsor also has a SPONSOR, who also has a sponsor, a sponsors major role is to keep private info away from sensitive ears and hand it to GOD, and most people who think about becoming sponsors in the first place ,think hard about the decision without a doubt before becoming one.
how ever we are only as stong as we think, if you dont have the ability to counsel your sponsor, and your allowed to, then dont share with them any heart felt stuff for a period until they bounce back to the caring person you first met. if it realy looks as though they are missing the mark then talk with there sponsor , if you know who it is, or pass the info on to your home group leader, or a central service officer, of AA in your city, you would be surprised, you may be saving them from a bust. cheers peter.