Hi everyone, my name is Deirdre and I just recently turned 50. I have been drinking since the age of 14, I don't drink from the morning to the night, only on weekends but I do drink 6 beers EVERY night. A few years back I lost my was made redundant and I lost my house, my car and worst of all my son. I was given a second chance, my son now lives with me but he detests my drinking. I made up my mind on Saturday night that I am no longer going to drink, I left a note with my 4 remaining beers and asked for help. My family responded immediately to my cry for help, but they are insisting that I join an AA group, but I am so afraid as I don't know what to expect when I walk in. Thank you for this group, I have been reading all the stories all day, and intend reading more. Deirdre
Hi D Welcome!!!!! You will find the love and support you need as soon as you walk in the doors of AA. Everyone there, from doctors, lawyers, waitresses, unemplyed, will greet you with open arms. Its true, they are all there for the same reasons!
Best thing I ever did and love the fact that my kids are coming around with love and respect for me! You can do this!!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
It always amazes me how going to the first AA meeting is scarier than losing family, jobs, houses, cars, health, freedom.... It's not like joining the marines during a war lol. Mostly it's your disease telling you not to go so that you can continue to drink. Quiting drinking is like losing a relationship. We love to drink and we're losing a loved one, Who Is Trying To kill Us!
Just think of all the people that you've enjoyed drinking with over the years, and that's what the people in AA are like. We're still a fun loving bunch that's learned how to have fun and enjoy life without Having To Drink. Look up your local AA office in the phone book, call them and ask all the question about the meetings that you'd like. You'll be talking to recovering AAs that have been right where you're at now. If you'd like they would arrange for someone (a woman, I'm presuming that you are the same) to take you or meet you at a meeting so that you don't have to go alone. Speakers meetings are a good bet for a first meeting. You'll be able to see two speakers get up and tell their story about how it was, their experience in AA, and how life is for them now. No participation from you is required, in fact there are no requirements except a desire to quit drinking.
Thank you guys, this means so much to me, I will be logging in here every day now, I don't have internet at home, but as soon as I've been to the first meeting which I am hoping will be Wednesday night, I will report back. Take care out there!! Deirdre
Thanks for posting, it brings back memories of my first few meetings.
I was also scared about going to AA because of my pre-conceived ideas about what AA meetings were like from seeing them in movies. I'm glad my desire to quit drinking was greater than my fear. I was visibly shaking during the meetings but my fears were comforted by the friendship I felt from people who were just like me, who just wanted to quit drinking. I felt like they really cared about me.
Please give AA a chnace, I have a feeling you'll be glad you went.
Congratulations on what AA calls your "Moment of Clarity" - and moving in this direction. I believe you will be glad you did.
I now have 16 days of not drinking and working on sobriety. I have started going to meetings and it is difficult - not because of what you find there - but because of your fear. That is it! I have not experienced being put on the spot, having to reveal anything I didn't want to, and if you want to go, not raise your hand (introduce yourself and a newcomer), and leave right after, you can do just that. Just going is the first step.
Early in the meeting they ask for newcomers to introduce themselves - not to embarrass you, but to let others know you are new and to come and say hi and see how they can help. I went to my first meeting on 1/2 a bottle of wine. I knew I was going, knew this was the day, but this was the last in the house - god forbid I throw it down the drain! They could probably even smell it on me. But I was greeted with hugs and congratulations and urges to just keep coming back. That is it. SUPPORT. UNDERSTANDING. For me, raising my hand was a HUGE thing - not because of who saw it - but being HONEST with myself. It was part of me saying "OK, I did this - I am going to work through it, forgive myself, and move on." I don't have to live with this guilt and shame for the rest of my life. It is the most glorious feeling in the world after all the turmoil that alcohol has brought to my life.
And, if what I am seeing in these meetings and on this board is any indication, it will just keep getting better. I will learn how to find peace, have better relationships, and so much more. Right now I am overjoyed at no hangovers, no driving drunk, being here and alert for my daughter, drunk dialing my friends, and the saving money isn't bad either! I feel clean.
Good luck to you Deirdre. A better life is at your finger tips - it can start right now.
tlc
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__________________ "By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach." ~Winston Churchill
Hi Deirdre, I am on day 7 of not drinking. It is something you have to really want and to do what you feel you need to to stop. I have gone to AA and it felt like home. I myself have to get to some meetings and I feel I will attend soon.
I have detoxed all week and I feel so much hope. My youngest son also stays with me while in college and he hated my drinking all summer but I did it anyway. He would be here off and on and I went against how he felt and drank.
But I did not quit so much for him because I know when I have done that it did not work. Alcoholics are a selfish lot and I fit right in there. But he and my family have played a huge part in one of my reasons to quit. But mainly I am quitting because I want to feel my life.
It does not matter if you drink all day or night. You can drink once every two weeks and only on weekends etc but if you feel like you do and realize your life in not doing well and you are not doing well then it is up to you to decide and not minimize.
It is strange because us alcoholics think that if we just drink on the weekends it makes it okay. But it has nothing to do with weekend drinking. It has to do with drinking at all when we are alcoholics.
I can justify all my drinking time to no end. But in the end I am an alcoholic and my life has been in the pits and I hurt those who I love. I want to feel my life and to do so I need to put the alcohol up and get help.
I am feeling the courage to go back to AA from being on this forum. It is like being home dear soul. You will not regret it. It is medicine for this dis-ease.
Please keep coming back here. Your life will change in ways you will be amazed at. Mine is already. Take care Rosie
Hi Deirdre, good to hear from you, welcome, as Dean pointed out we are a group of fun people who just don't have to drink anymore, thanks to this AA 12 step program.
I was scared to go to my first AA meeting too, because I just didn't know what I would, or who I, would find inside those doors. I had never seen any movies about meetings, so i had no reference point at all.
I got through the door of AA because a good friend of mine, who I used to party with was in recovery. She talked me through it and encouraged me. That encouragement from someone who had been inside an AA room, got me in the door. Once I got myself through the door, wow, what a warm welcome. I discovered there were plenty of people just like me. I was the manager of a family boat rental business. But here inside the AA meeting were also people i never expected to see, like doctors, lawyers, people who i always thought had everything together, and bam they were dealing with life, just like me, what a suprise, I was 33.
Part of my problem was that I thought the definition of an "alcoholic" was when you find yourself passed out on the side of the road, and my drinking hadn't taken me there.
I soon learned that I was an alcoholic because I recognized that once I had one drink, I drank until I passed out. The fact that I had a home and bed to go to and pass out in, instead of the street, made no difference at all, I have a dis-ease. Going to that first meeting was the best decision of my life. So thanks for writing your feelings and sharing. At the end of all the meetings I attend we give each other big ((hugs)) of support, it's really cool.
Hi D! We share a very similar story. After coming into AA I now have my family back and a whole new way of life. Your first step is to be willing to admit that you are Powerless over Alcohol and that your life has become Unmanageable. There is nothing to fear if you can get Honest with yourself. WELCOME!!!!!( Rosco)
Hello again, gosh I am over whelmed to the response I got from that posting, thank you all so much you have given me such a lot of courage, today is day 3 Rosie and last night was not too much of a struggle to run down to the bottle store after work, but I have to admit that I did think of those beers often while I was watching TV. But this morning has given me new hope all over again, that you so much guys!!!
Welcome to MIP. It's a great forum and there are so many super people here.
Please don't worry about going to your first meeting. You'll find lots of people just like us who want to welcome you and help you if they can.
I was at a meeting last night and the speaker said that our friends and families loved us despite the fact that we are alcoholics, but other AA people love us because we are alcoholics. To me, that says it all.
Please keep posting and letting us know how things are going for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Hi Deirdre, The habit we have of thinking about beer, which was what I was drinking constantly, is just that a habit. And it takes about 30 days to get habits at bay. So just know it is par for the course.
We humans are creatures of habit. I know if I rearrange the tooth brushes in the bathroom I constantly reach in the place I had them before. Or anything like that.
I am glad you are posting and doing so well. Isn't it nice to wake up and not be hungover??!! All this week I woke up and had to check myself to see if I drank or not and when I realized I had not I felt so free and hopeful. I love it!!!
And as the days go by our life will improve in so many ways. We can do all the things we only can barely dream of as we get sober. The smallest of things that seem so huge are already looking so easy.
Keep up the great work. I look forward to getting sober with you. Take care Rosie
hello deirdre from south australia you wont be dissapointed by going to AAmeetings providing you listen to the similarites not the differences. as another member said people with all types of carreers will be in the meeting as well as you, alcoholism is not just for the drunks who sleep out in the streets , there is even a AAmeeting down at one of the antarctic bases. be kind to youself and dont weigh yourself down with unesessary burdens, stick with the strength that is people who have been sober 5 years or longer, in an around the meetings you go to, they will give you there phone number after they get to know you. ring these people up when you are running rough, and stick to these pages. cheers peter. your not alone whether your new and sitting next to someone who has been sober for years, the aa members are taught to treat people like a brother and sister, cheers peter.
