He created day for footy matches, going to the beach and barbies.
He created night for going prawning, sleeping and barbies.
God saw that it was good.
Evening came and morning came and it was the Second Day.
On the Second Day God created water - for surfing, swimming and > barbies on the beach.
God saw that it was good.
Evening came and morning came and it was the Third Day.
On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants – to
provide tobacco, malt, vegies, sugar cane and wood for barbies.
God saw that it was good.
On the Fourth Day God created animals and crustaceans for chops, sausages, steak and prawns for barbies.
God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Fifth Day.
On the Fifth Day God created a bloke - to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, eat the meat and prawns at barbies.
God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Sixth Day.
On the Sixth Day God saw that this bloke was lonely and needed someone
to go to the footy, surf, laugh, eat and stand around the barbie with.
So God created Mates, and God saw that they were good blokes.
God saw that it was good.
Evening came and morning came and it was the Seventh Day.
On the Seventh Day God saw that the blokes were tired and needed a rest. The blokes were having trouble
making decisions, didn't know whether to go fishing, to the footy and had lost the remote control.
So God created Sheilas - to organise the house, do lots of shopping, hide the remote, wash, cook and Clean the barbie.
Evening came and it was the end of the Seventh day. -
God sighed, looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard the the raucous laughter of all the Blokes and Sheilas, smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns, and God saw that it was not just good,
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
If that's religion, I'll buy me a kilo and stick it on the barbie.
Far better than the Jehova's Witnesses who turned up on my doorstep on Sunday and spouted on about this dead guy Timothy who had no surname and who had been dead for hundreds of years. They said he was very relevant to the problems of today, but there was no mention of a flat tyre or getting to talk to a human on the phone to the bank or the tape getting stuck in the VHS.
They banged on about how old their god was so I suggested they try worshipping some of the Hindu gods cos they were much older and they just walked off.
When you think about it, there are hundreds of gods out there in the marketplace competing for the religious dollar. How do these poor folks decide which one to follow? Presumably the penalty for choosing the wrong one is eternal damnation. Therefore the majority of religious peeps are going straight to hell with no opportunity to pass Go or collect £200.
Where I used to live in South London there was a negro church and opposite it a mosque and they both had banners up outside saying the their god was the one true god. Presumably they were both lying, or one of them would have taken the other to court to get their banner removed.
The other thing about religion that always puzzled me was: as you travel round you see the First Church of God, the First Church of Jesus, the First Church of Virgins, the First Chruch of This, the First Church of That and the First Church of the Other. How come you never ever see one called the SECOND Church of Whatever?
__________________
Back the bid for the Olympics anwhere else but London
It's all the same God, just different names and different interpretations depending on personal choice and cultural background. Thats why all the wars caused by religion are so senseless (Religion being the single biggest cause of war).
Hope everyone has a fantastic day.
Bye for now.
Chris.
__________________
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
