I've been with a new company since getting sober and fortunately neither my superiors nor my coworkers were made aware of my little problem with the drinky drinky. It's never really been an issue since I've managed to avoid social functions and situations where alcohol has been involved. This time however there was a annual general meeting with all of the CEO big wigs and flying in to give speeches and talk about the direction and future of the company, blah, blah blah... attendance was mandatory.
The venue for this meeting was an outdoor western theme BBQ with plenty of food and booze provided for all. I went having absolutely no intention of having a drink whatsoever, in fact after being sober for the longest I'd been in years I didn't even consider a "slip" to be a possibility...as far as I was concerned I was cured. Within the first half hour I found myself with a glass of wine in my hand and in the centre of a group of my colleagues. Everyone was in hysterics because, like many drunks, when the liquor hits my lips I become the life of the party. As the drinks flowed the comedy rolled off my tongue like water off a ducks back and along with the snappy one liners and the good natured ribbing of those present came the impressions of various office personalities, the immigrant guy with the funny accent, the gay male secretary with the lisp, our boss...needless to say I was on fire.
I don't quite remember the end of the evening or when my drunken antics turned from amusing to offensive but the one thing I do have a hazy recollection of is me being escorted off of the premises and being physically restrained. And while I suspected that my full voicemail box could have shed some light on why I was ejected from the party I was too ashamed to listen to the messages.
How does it happen? How does a reasonably intelligent human being take all his progress, all of his hard work and diligence and literally and figuratively piss it down the drain?
Now if you'll excuse me I have a wallowing appointment with an old friend named self pity
How does it happen? How does a reasonably intelligent human being take all his progress, all of his hard work and diligence and literally and figuratively piss it down the drain?
Been there. Done that.
It happened because you chose to drink. Period. If intelligence could keep us sober we wouldn't need AA or each other. You haven't paid your dues. You dont' have nearly enough sober time to even think about attending such an event, let alone go!
If it was 'mandatory', then you should have either 1) made a quick appearance and left or 2) taken a sober friend with you.
You may want to think about if you're really willing to go to any length. If you are, and these mandatory parties continue, you may want to find another job.
You will look back on this at some point and realize you made the decision to drink, it didn't just 'happen ' (it's part of that spiritual awakening).
The most valuable thing my sponsor has ever told me, " I may choose to drink, but I never have to."
Glad you made it back...Don't wallow too long, ain't good for you!
((hugs))
-- Edited by Doll at 21:59, 2008-08-06
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
I used to think on occasion..that I could pick one up...never gave it a second thought...till I did so...and the shit hit the fan..
Banged my head against a wall...many many times....after a few months sober...and a year sober...trying to control it all...never could...always wound up in jail....or divorce court..and couldnt remember why...
One drink..thats all it took....and back on the roller coaster...again.
Glad you made it back Bud....a lot dont...guess we are a couple of the lucky few..
Hang in..and back on the horse...
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Live each day as if it were your last...because tomorrow?
It might be.
When I picked up again after promising myself that I wouldn't, I tried to learn from what I had done and then to avoid what had led to me picking up again.
I know that I'll never be able to have just one drink as that will lead to the next and the next and the next.
But, you made it back and that's great. Please keep posting and letting us know how it's going for you.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Hey TM, I lost about 3 months that I had at a christmas party for a new company that I was working for. My boss asked me to go home as we had work the next day. fortunately it didn't get to out of hand.
There is always an opportunity for us to get drunk. Especially in slippery situations that we have Not experienced before while remaining sober. Lot's of tips for handling functions like that. Go to a meeting and talk to your sponsor and pray that day before the party. Take someone sober with you. Go late, leave early. Don't let anyone hand you a drink. Keep a non alcoholic drink in your hand (soda, tea, water...) at all times so that you don't feel the need to pick up something else. There are few others that I forgot. This is a good topic for you to bring up at a meeting.
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Good to see that you've made it back Tipsy! A couple of excuses I've used: " I have an allergy and can't drink alcohol." "I'm on a medication and can't drink with it." I'm sure you've heard them before and could have used them if you'd chosen to. At least you've made it back (again)...Good fortune!!...Tim (Two years coming up tomorrow.)
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
and I'm staying here until I'm good and marinated!
Man I know that feeling. It sucks on so many levels, because of the guilt/shame thing we tend to put ourselves through (geez is that because we drink or why we drink?) and on top of that alcohol is pretty much the best depressant ever. Double whammy- no fun at all.
Put on some decent music or a movie you really like, drink lots of fluids and eat some vitamins. I've been on a kudzu kick along with emergency's new multi vitamin in the ephervescent packets. B1! You need the B1 to help your system process sugars, something alcohol tends to slow down. Sugar gets your brain up and running- the glucose breakdown process and all that.
Man- don't beat yourself up too much. You're only human and it's not like you climbed a tower with high powered rifle or something. Perspective is a wonderful tool to marginalize what's bothering you.
