Last evening police cars swarmed a group of teens out in front of my house. We live in a relatively quiet suburb, and it is rare that we see our police "in action" in the neighborhood.(Especially now that I am sober.)
I had to think about police car lights. I have seen them many times before, and when they would light up, my stomach would feel like a brick that had been dropped from a 4-story building. I was always doing something illegal or immoral, it seemed. Sometimes I would even breath a sigh of relief... "well, here I go back to the pokey, where it is at least safe"...
But last night I got no reaction at all. I looked out the window to see what was going on, and went back to the television show I was watching in my quiet living room. Life is so different sober. Nothing to fear, nothing to hide. No one considers me a threat to the community, no one is concerned that I am a danger to myself and others. I am a "non-issue" so far as law enforcement is concerned, and just for today, I will keep it that way!!!!
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
I cant wait to get the assurance you have. I am still in fear. A couple of weeks ago I was in a very bad car accident and I was drinking. When the cops arrived I was still drinking my beeer they had to wrestle it out of my hands!! Insanity!!! Well they let me off with just a reckless driving ticket and took me to the physc ward. I am still getting warrants on the door and I am terrified of going to jail!!! I have a history of seizures so my hubby said we will say I had one during the accident. I know this is lying but I am soooooooo terrified of jail!! I could not make it there! I am a wimp but a big mouth. I would get my butt kicked every day I just know it! So I am still afraid of knocks on the door, phone ringing and the sight of those cop lights. Please every one pray and interceded for me that I dont have to go to jail. Love you all! Allison
Officer phil! Love not worrying about getting pulled over drunk is such fun!!!! Yea, I forgot to renew my lisecne and was a bit paranoid but took care of it!!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Wow Joni, you brought back some memories for me. My life was often spent looking in a rear view mirror wondering if I was going to get pulled over, even when I was (rarely) straight!
So many times I would go into a grocery store or anywhere and if a policeman walked in, by or around, I would be paranoid.
Today I admire them for the job they do. I have respect for them putting their life on the line to help protect society, and I don't get paranoid because I'm not drinking or drugging.
Now, when someone walks past me drunk or high, and I see them watching a police officer with that same kind of paranoid look, I just think to myself, 'hmmmmmm....could they be a candidate for the program?' Something they'll have to figure out.....huh?
-- Edited by Returned_Here at 23:08, 2008-07-28
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Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you. ~ GOD *****
I had a similar incident late last night. A police van pulled up outside my house with about 8 armed police inside. I was so grateful for 2 reasons. Firstly, my son was born with a disorder that was diagnosed when he was 12, I went through hell with him and nobody believed me so I put him into care so they could see it first hand and refer him for a diagnosis. When it came, it wasnt good and there was no help for it. My drinking started out of guilt when I put him into care age 11. He has been in and out of jeuvenile prisons since then. Last year (altho I didnt know it at the time) my Higher Power was really looking after me. Me son stole a car and crashed it, flipping it onto its roof. A passer by had had to kick the window through and cut him out of the seatbelt and drag him out unconscious. The car was burning. My son took a bad bang to the head and was bleeding from both ears too. From then on his behaviour started to improve and apparently, the knock to the head may have dislodged his brain which im told could have been lodged against his skull and that was what was causing his problems. I got sober 7 months later. I dont know if i could have done it had his problems and behaviours still been there as I lived in fear on him.
So, last night I was so grateful that when the police van turned up, I knew it wasnt for him and also knew they wouldnt be knocking on my door to tell me he had been arrested and find me drunk.
Sooo cool, joni, thanks for sharing. Maybe someday I will not notice anymore either.
Something they'll have to figure out.....huh?