We deserve the best life and love has to offer, but we are each faced with the challenge of learning to identify what that means in our life. We must each come to grips with our own understanding of what we believe we deserve, what we want, and whether we are receiving it.
There is only one place to start, and that is right where we are, in our current circumstances. The place we begin is with us.
What hurts? What makes us angry? What are we whining and complaining about? Are we discounting how much a particular behavior is hurting us? Are we making excuses for the other person, telling ourselves we're "too demanding"?
Are we reluctant, for a variety of reasons, especially fear, to tackle the issues in our relationships that may be hurting us? Do we know what's hurting us and do we know that we have a right to stop our pain, if we want to do that?
We can begin the journey from deprived to deserving. We can start it today. We can also be patient and gentle with ourselves as we travel in important increments from believing we deserve second best, to knowing in our hearts that we deserve the best, and taking responsibility for that.
Today, I will pay attention to how I allow people to treat me, and how I feel about that. I will also watch how I treat others. I will not overreact by taking their issues too personally and too seriously; I will not under react by denying that certain behaviors are inappropriate and not acceptable to me.
From The Language of Letting Go
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Great read today for me: Worked the last two nites and felt I was unfairly taken advantage of: Was in charge, also training a new nurse and had a heavy assignment. Both nights were very busy and we had a couple emergency situations that needed quick attention.
Felt bad that my orientee did not get a great deal of attention from me most of all. At first, I wanted to confront (nicely) my supervisor and ask her why she would do this to poor me. It was unfair and no other person would have accepted that responsibility. Unfortunately, most of our workers are on sick leave or have health issue that prevent them from doing charge or training, so we have "float" nurses coming in.
Thinking about it.... a) should be proud that they would place that responsibility on me in the first place, wow, I am worthy b) Im not sick or in a situation today where I cant handle the extra stress!
So, everyone was safe, no harm done, we got the job done as a team and you know, Im proud to say, everything ended up OK at the end of the day....
I will not overreact until the day is done and I can reflect on what transpired.... Just had to vent...Thanks
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
What a great topic. I know I've made a mistake. God know's I've made plenty other's too! I have been sober almost 6 months. I started before getting sober dabbling in the world of internet dating. Never done that before but during the winter months and since I was doing all my drinking at home alone and not going to bars, I figured how else am I going to meet someone. So, while I was drinking, seemed like the type of people I met was what should have been expected. I don't know what I was thinking, I obviously wasn't. So, quit drinking, took the self-help route, turning to God and friends as my support system. I was feeling good and continued my on-line friendship finding. Met a nice guy. Not a fellow alcoholic but a fellow single parent raising his 2 children. He works out of the country and is gone every other month but calls me daily when at work. We had become quite close over the last 3 months. So, when we met, I was 3 months sober. We've been on close to 10 dates. Friends at first, a growing attraction to wow, I can't wait to see you again. He's been home since the beginning of the month and I'm just getting the feeling that I'm putting more into this than he is. I know he likes me, he may even love me but I can see that my co-dependent ways makes it so easy for someone to slack in a relationship because I do all the work. I do the planning, most of the calling, the thoughtfulness, etc. I was really falling for the guy but everytime things begin to give me the insecure feeling or the you are being a doormat feeling I feel so disappointed. I will quote from Quetzal's post, "Do we know what's hurting us and do we know that we have a right to stop our pain, if we want to do that?" I should have never gotten involved in anything until I applied the 1 year rule. I know now why it exists. Everytime I go doing too much and I don't get back as much as I give, it stresses me and I feel like drinking. Do I just assume he has no clue the things he does/doesn't do make me feel like this and it's my problem to decide to stop it or do I tell him? I wonder if it's just the way that he is then I think if that's the case, he's not the one for me. I don't know what to do as I like him, he's a good friend, a good man and a good Father to his kids but I don't know if he would be a good partner for me. I'm pretty down as I feel like I will never be well enough to find someone that is and be able to know the difference. Need some honest, even if painful advice.
Stree: YOU WILL be well enough someday to have a romantic relationship! But like you said, there is a reason they say wait a while! Work on you and you alone then all the good things will come to you! I like what Phil had to say in an earlier post.."let the big guy handle it,,,,He will! Best of luck!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
