Acceptance is the recognition that something is wrong and a person needs help. This is true of cancer, diabetes, and heart disease, as well as drug addiction and alcoholism. With any disease, if a person does not recognize, admit, and accept that they have a problem, there is no solution. Acceptance has four components.

The first component is breaking through the denial, which can be difficult. Denial is an automatic and unconscious refusal to see things as they are. It is a psychological defense that distorts reality. It keeps a person from experiencing the uncomfortable truth about things we do not want to face. Denial comes in many forms: minimizing, rationalizing, justifying, intellectualizing, generalizing, blaming, manipulating, bargaining, etc. Whatever the defense mechanism used, denial will keep a person from experiencing the truth and ultimately result in their death.

When a person breaks through their denial, they are able to feel the pain of their disease and admit their powerlessness. This second aspect of acceptance deals with the loss of control that comes with drug and alcohol addiction. Any time an alcoholic or drug addict consumes a drug in any manner the person ceases to be in control of themselves because the drug takes over. Father Martin compares this to getting into a boxing ring with a champion. The champion represents the drug of choice and the person represents the amateur. The amateur is going to lose to the champion every time. He or she is powerless to win this battle. Acceptance is coming to the realization that one should not be stepping into the ring with a champion only to lose the battle.

The third aspect of acceptance is unmanageability. Unmanageability is the consequence of competing with a champion. The individual gets beat up and the quality of life begins to decay. This decaying process happens slowly over time and permeates all aspects of life. There are relational, occupational, legal, physical, societal, and emotional consequences. The end result is a lifestyle of unmanageable pain and suffering. Only when a person embraces the pain and suffering of unmanageability are they able to ask for help.

The final step in acceptance is asking for help. It is the realization that the person can no longer do it alone and needs the help of other people to conquer their disease. It is a humbling experience for an individual to ask for help, but the alternative is to continue to experience the process of death. Asking for help is to open up new possibilities for life.

The pathway to wholeness is through the doorway of acceptance. Once a person steps through this doorway their life has the possibility of being restored mentally, emotionally, physically, and relationally. They can regain what they have lost because of their alcoholism or drug addiction. Acceptance is not an easy step to take, but it is necessary as it is the first step to restoring hope and sanity to their lives.