A great book for someone that's in a relationship with an alcoholic or addict (that would be you) is "On the Family" by John Bradshaw. Anyone that is in a relationship with an alcoholic probably is a Codependent. "Normal" people just are not attracted (read repulsed by) to alcoholics. Do a little googling, here's a head start, http://www.codependents.org/foundation-docs-patterns.php
It's a great book, an easy read and available any book store or amazon for about $8. You'll learn more about yourself and this family disease, in a 100 pages, than you will for the rest of your life. Just unbelievable.