It's so baffling...I think I can handle it & now, 24 hours later, I have one great big anxiety attack that will last all day long....my mind is racing & I'm paranoid now.
Alcohol is controlling me. Yes, my life is unmanagable because of it. I admit these things...but still it sneaks up on me.
I'll be okay in a day or so & HELL NO!!! not looking for my next drink. I like being sober, i'm more confident & feel so much better with a clear head....so why do i sabatoge it by drinking?
I want to be done with this....but it's never over, is it?
DO YOU START OUR YOUR DAY IN PRAYER? TRY DOING DAILY DEVOTIONALS WHEN, YOU GET UP IN THE MORNING. pRAY 4 GOD'S PROTECTION THEN, GIVE THANKS 4 THE DAY AT THE END OF IT.
Starting your day in quiet prayer asking God for the strength to stay sober & thanking Him at night is a good simple program - foggy or not, that's simple,right? I pray to my HP & get myself quiet many times a day, asking Him just what my next step should be (In sobriety, I too have problems with panic attacks).
The best advice from me is: go to the next available AA meeting, ask for phone numbers & when you get them - use them, that's what AA isreally all about - One alcoholic helping another one. I wish you well, you'll be in my prayers & if sticking close to this board helps, please use it. Whatever works. Sometimes it only has to be five minutes at a time, not the whole day. Praying for your sobriety. - Pat B
Chris and Pat made very good points... getting in touch with one's Higher Power each morning.
What helped me a lot was practicing His presence througout my day. It took some doing, because the mind was always wanting to concentrate on everything else except what it was supposed to be practicing. But gradually, practicing my God's presence in my life became stronger and stronger with each daily attempt. And with Him, nothing is impossible.
I also had to change old habits and there's a booklet called "Living Sober" that is AA-approved; it provides some methods AA members have used for not drinking. Books can be purchased from Amazon.com through our website here.
Last but not least, please don't beat yourself up for not being perfect... we strive for progress, not perfection. I came into the program with zero self-esteem, so beating oneself up is self-defeating, and I didn't want anymore defeat.
I've lived the program for some years now, keeping it simple. I wish you everything good.
Catherine, I can't add much to what everyone else has said. I'm glad you are here, being honest.
"HOW"Honesty,Openmindness,and Willingness, sounds like you are trying. And yes, it is all a one day at a time deal and today I chose sobriety,and God was with me every minute and will be there the rest of the night.
Can't add much except after my slip I had to learn to pray all over again. Most of my prayers are now of thanks. Request of Gods Will, willingness and strength. Never for selfish things. It took my knees and prayer to get back through the doors of AA. I asked God to please get me back into AA. Guess what it's worked so far one day at a time. I had some very testing times too!! Theres light at the end of the tunnel. You want help or you wouldn't have posted. Now you have to act on it. You have a choice today to drink or not to drink. You never get over Alcoholism. Once an Alcoholic always an Alcoholic. It's a daily reprieve, one day at a time.
The most important thing is that your back on track again. Keep at it one day at a time.
Bye for now.
Chris.
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"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
