I drank heavily this weekend at a work thing. I woke up on Saturday morning in my boss's room with a bucket next to me. Apparently I was too drunk to find my own room key so she was looking after me. Then I drank again on Saturday night and got into an argument with my coworkers.
I hate myself right now, like, really really hate myself. I just want to undo the past 48 hours. My boyfriend is out of town, and I am home alone just wallowing.
Ditto what Phil said! Its the past, apologize, move on.... Hitting a few meetings and sharing your experience may be helpful. Hang in, today is a new day!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Thank you. I am trying to hang in there. Today is Day One, and Day One is better than nothing, right?!
One day at a time. I don't want to be that person anymore. Someone said to me last night "you're like a different person when you've had a drink" and I hate what I become.
Welcome to MIP. I do hope that you'll stay around. I get a lot of strength and support from the super people here.
When I was drinking I hated myself, too. I hated what I was doing to myself and to everyone around me. That's when I started to go to AA meetings and discovered that I wasn't on my own and that there were people who understood just where I was coming from.
We have all been at day one and we all know where you are right now. Try getting to a meeting. Meetings keep me sober and I love my meetings and have so many true friends now. I wouldn't want my old life back.
Please keep posting and letting us know how things are going for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
I just had a really good phone conversation with my boyfriend (he's out of town for work) and I didn't get my back up about the issue and just discussed it really honestly, which is big.
I just don't know. I just wish I didn't have this disease. I wish I was 'normal'.
I just don't know. I just wish I didn't have this disease. I wish I was 'normal'.
Your statement, while the wish of every alcoholic initially, really is the cornerstone of denial. It's the same as saying "I wish that I could drink normally". Reading the first step, in the "big book", daily for a week or a month, will change your outlook to one of acceptance. In order to stay sober, you must accept the fact that you can no longer drink safely due to this disease. It will also take everything that's close to you, away, including your freedom, sanity, and possibly your life. If you had to pick an incurrable disease, this is the one that you'd pick, because it's so easily manageable. Just don't drink (and go to AA meetings daily for a couple years ). My wife has type 1 diabetis (takes 4 shots of insulin a day). I wouldn't trade with her for anything.
If you ask a number of recoverying AA's with a few years or more, most of them would tell you, including myself, that they were glad that they were alcoholics due to the beauty of self discovery, personal development, and spirituality gained through working this great program. Changing who we are, so that we don't have to drink again "The same man/woman will drink again" is the basis. I know that I drank because I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, today I find humor in my own imperfections and laugh at my mistakes. Two weeks ago I bought a locking gas cap for my car, just yesterday I realized that I already have a locking gas door. Then I read Phil's posts and I feel much better
). My wife has type 1 diabetis (takes 4 shots of insulin a day). I wouldn't trade with her for anything.
Then I read Phil's posts and I feel much better 