(Adapted from "The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage", Page 30-32)

• Discuss don't attack


• Keep the voice low and pleasant


• Stick to the subject


• Listen to his/her complaints


• Don't make demands

(From the Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage, Page 35)

"People with usually good dispositions have no difficulty being courteous to strangers and friends. It is when our strong emotions are involved that we swing to the limits of the pendulum - extremes of demonstrating affection or disapproval. We are so deeply involved that we treat those closest to us as though they were a part of us; when they do things that do not please us, we fight them instead of fighting our own shortcomings."

Keeping in mind the word 'courtesy' helps to remind us that our loved one is other things besides a possession for us to own and control. He is a man, a person, an individual; he is a man who does a job, earns a living. He is a helping hand to his friends in need. He is a person whose experiences in life are different than our own; he has a heart, mind, soul, feelings and emotions. He is a person to be respected as a child of his Higher Power, to be considerate of, to treat always with courtesy.

COURTESY generates COURTESY