I left for Kansas a week ago.Back home im a confirmed member of my Lutheran church.When i was leaving my pastor said a prayer for me and i promised him i will join a church out there.He doesent know my past history of heavy drinking and has no clue that im an alcoholic.Back home i used to go clean for days sometimes weeks.As soon as i got here, unpacked my clothes, i made a friend and we went out to drink.AND IT STARTED AGAIN.He moved out the next day, so i was left alone.Its about a half mile walk to the bar and i have been going everyday getting drunk and missing classes.I meet a couple of girls who liked me at first but now cant even look at me. I even drink before class starts.
Roy, welcome to the board. moving away from home to go to college is a big deal and stressful. There's a lot fear wrapped up in all of that. There is no doubt that alcohol relieves stress and erases feelings like fear, but it also erases motivation, self esteem, ability to make decisions/judgements and tends to set us up to fail generally, which we tend to drink more over. It's a visious cycle. There is help available in the form of a AA hotline in your local phone book. Recovering alcoholics answer the phones there and can locate meetings for you and arrange for someone to take you to a meeting.
If you're in a college town or metro area, there will be young people's meetings with college students in them, that you'll be able to relate to. The meetings are as much social as they are a discussion forum for us to discuss our problems and solutions to our alcoholism. It's certainly a cure for lonliness. We all experience that, but we come to learn that it is us that isolates ourselves. By putting our drinking aside, it allows us to rejoin our place in time, in society. From the description of your drinking, this doesn't sound like something that you can modify and continue to drink and go to school.
Our program is about not drinking "one day at a time". We've come to realize that our body chemistry can not tolerate alcohol. It's something like a mental obsession to something that the body is alergic to. Accepting that we just can't drink safely is the beginning of the road to recovery.
give AA a call, check out a meeting and let us know how it went for you.
Welcome LD Lots of great advise, suggestions, from Dean. Hope you decide to look into an AA meeting! You'll meet lots of great people there and have the opportunity to make college a success!!! Good luck to you and keep posting Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Very cool! Maybe someone can get their college education when theyre young!! Instead of like me, taking 8 years and graduating when Im forty!!! Hope it went well!!!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Welcome to MIP. I am so glad that you contacted a member of AA in your area and that you're going to a meeting. If it wasn't for my meetings I wouldn't have the sobriety that I enjoy now. For me, it's great to know that I am not on my own with my problem and that there is so much support available.
Please let us know how the meeting went for you and how you are doing, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
The meeting went well.I introduced myself and didn't say much.The next day i spent all my money on beer and liquor again.I actually would rather spend it alcohol then food.Its pretty sad.
Most of us got to the point in our drinking where the disease made the decisions for us. When it gets to that point, it's no longer a matter of willpower or weakness. It just goes to show that it's time to get some help. And not many of us are "one night wonders" that walk into a meeting and never drink again. It takes a while to unlearn the habit of drinking. It's suggested that newcomers attend 90 meetings in 90 days, to reinforce (replace) a new good habit for one that needs to go down the road. Personally I stuggled with accepting my powerlessness over alcohol. Somehow I held out with a ridiculous belief that I could modify my drinking to where I could drink less and less often. It's a text book fallacy, if you've got this disease.
I remember being where you're at. I was daily drinker at age 15. I hope that you'll call some of those people that you met and get to some more meetings. It represents the way out or the solution.
Hi Roy... I too took a couple months to truly get it. Attended meetings and would drink right after! After attending meetings daily for about 2 months and drinking, I discovered that: Yes I was alcoholic and I needed this program and the people there were great and I wanted what they had....Dont give up yet! Keep attending meetings and see what happens!!! Good luck!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
