For a very longtime now i have struggled with prayer and medatation whenever i start to pray i get a 101 thoughts that start running through my head and they are at lighting speed. i pray for there removal they go away for a minute or two but then as soon as i start to pray again they come back so if i cant stop them i just stop trying to pray. befour i got clean and sober the only time i ever prayed was when i was in trouble and that was pretty much all the time. it bothers me greatly that my concentration is so disturbed its like having the devil on one side of my shoulder and my hp on the other and when one says one thing the other argues about it or trys to distort it and i give up. i need a way to stop the chatter my sponsor suggested to me try something simple like the Serenity Prayer and i do that but as soon as i get past the first few lines of it the chatter starts. i have gotten to the point now where i just wait for the chatter to stop and i begin again i can get through it but it takes like an hour and the chatter is starting to get manotinous and repetitive i wish i could just pray in peace. i often wonder if maybe its my own thoughts that are running a muck in my brain im not sure? there are time when i know its my addictions that are speaking to me and very loudly to i might add. if anyone has any esh that they can share i would appreate it if you would share it with me.
It's just wonderful that you're sharing. My sponsor practically had to use pliars to get some hint of my thoughts and feelings. I went through the same experience you're having and when I eventually forced myself to share about it at a meeting, I was told by a variety of members that it's called "The Committee!" I'd be getting all these darn voices and distractions and interruptions each and everytime I tried to sit in quiet prayer and meditation... Apparently the "Committee" enjoys this free rent in our heads and likes to see how much of their noise we can stand, but as we continue to strive for progress, their presence will fade and they'll go bother someone else if they can! I learned to acknowledge their presence and then tell them to get lost. Eventually, it worked!
Please be patient and don't be hard on yourself. You deserve TLC from self as you keep on keeping on with your efforts. It WILL get better, Serenity.
If something repeats itself 3 times, you weren't listening the first time, and have something to learn. It is time to start listening.
I remember this happening. I had a lot of things to sort out and once I opened myself to this, they all came in at me from everywhere. I'm am going to give some advice (Ah, yes - I know we don't do this...tis only a taboo, maintained by those who cannot trust what they have to offer...- you can take or dismiss it, just like you do your thoughts - but I will give it anyway, because I can. I want for you to know peace.
Stop fighting your conscience. Relax. Begin with prayer, and then Stop your rigid prayer recital and accept the intuitive guidance that is presenting itself. Take the first thought that comes into your mind and make peace with it. Spend time in meditation exploring it, and working through it. You will find once you acknowledge your higher power at work within you, the struggle with cease. Let your thoughts guide you on a journey of self exploration. At first it may have you moving from fifteen things all in the space of a few minutes - that's okay. Just go with it. Acknowledge each of them. As your thoughts begin to settle, your focus increases and you are able to explore whatever is being presented to you. Bit by bit we make friends with our conscience, or inner guide. We stop denying it and we acknowledge the feelings that it evokes as they arise.
We find inner peace.
Then we try to externalise it....(and that's the really tricky bit! ) but that's the next bit of the step. Piecemeal mate, let's just do it piecemeal. Bits of you, your life, your personality, your dreams, your shortcomings form those thoughts. Acknowledge them one by one.
Every now and then, someone comes along and you just KNOW they are going to make it. You can just feel the spirit of progress in their every word. That's how I feel with you Serenity. Keep working it mate - you are doing so well.
Nic, there are other very good reasons that we are not to give advic e. One is that what you are telling her to do may work for you,, but may not be the answer for anyone else,, in which case then you can share it in another form. You can say, "This is what I do and it works for me.... ",,, or you can say, "here are some ideas to consider as you make your decisions... ",,, but to just say, "Do this, and then do that.. " is no, no. Some people will obey advice that is given and get in trouble from bad advice, and then the advisor has to take some responsibility for giving bad advice. Some people give fairly good advice but establish a codependency with one that comes to depend on him or her for more and more advice cuz they are not learning how to make their own decisions.
Having said that, I will share some ideas that I have heard about distractions during prayer. I have heard that trying to fight them off is counterproductive as it keeps us focussed on the distracting thoughts. I have heard that letting the distracting thoughts just roll across our mind and giving them to God is helpful. Some people shared at a meeting last week that they have attention deficite disorder and just have a whole lot of trouble meditating like that, and have had to find ways to try to listen to God that don't call for concentrating on one topic for long. I have another friend who has had difficulty for other reasons trying to pray and that is because her relationship with God needs improving generally, as in Step 2.
Music helps me to meditate.. there are Christian singers who have some great meditative songs and I sing along.
St Augustine would ask God to help him to pray and meditate. Sometimes I tell God something like.. "I really need you to let me know God, what you want from me"
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Hugs Serenity 
- you can take or dismiss it, just like you do your thoughts - but I will give it anyway, because I can. I want for you to know peace.
) but that's the next bit of the step. Piecemeal mate, let's just do it piecemeal. Bits of you, your life, your personality, your dreams, your shortcomings form those thoughts. Acknowledge them one by one.