there were a lot of things that led to my wanting sobriety. i've been drinking for 9 years, which is almost half of my life, and the funny thing is is that i never thought of alcohol to be a problem. when i was 15 i started using meth daily until i got pregnant at 17. i sobered up during the pregnancy but was drinking the day i got out of the hospital as well as smoking meth. i ended up giving my son to his grandmother because i didn't want him around the lifestyle i wasn't ready to give up. at 18 i started shooting up. toward the end of my using, i was a basketcase, i never came down, i was a junkie...something i never thought i'd turn into. my sister, who's 23 ended up getting busted with a lab, but that didn't make me want to stop. the last time i went out, my ex of 4 1/2 yrs and i ended up breaking up, i got beat up and kicked out...i was either going to kill myself or get help. having lost 2 of my best friends to suicide in high school, i called the crisis hotline, who referred me to detox where i spent 8 days coming off the dope. i knew that i needed more treatment so i went to a 30 day inpatient rehab, still thinking that wasn't enough i moved from Kansas City KS to colorado to a 6 month reintegration program. after being there 2 months, i got kicked out for fraternizing (talking to) a man in recovery. the program director is not a very professional man at all, and he always made me really uncomfortable. come to find out a couple girls have turned him in for sexual harassment and all that, so i'm glad i'm not in the program anymore. i am still in colorado though, and still going to 5 AA meetings a week. i am so grateful that my higher power is guiding me through these tough times. i am able to notice that my behavior has really changed a lot in 4 months, i no longer over react to situations, i don't get angry at people as easily and if i do get angry i am able to pray for the person and then God takes it from me. sobriety is great and i can't imagine going back to drugs. i know now that drugs weren't my only problem, i am also an alcoholic which i couldn't admit until i was in rehab. i am so grateful that i have been given this chance to be a part of something miraculous and a group that loves me and accepts me...i love my life now and for that i am forever grateful :)
You've done really well so far, I think it was a good idea to get out of the reintegration program if the director was that bad, the last thing you need at a time like that is more stress! Life will get better from the moment that you stopped drinking, and the other stuff as well, it amazed me how fast things do improve. The important thing to do is just keep up with it, going back to the old ways is just not worth it.
Hope your having a good day, best wishes
Chris.
__________________
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
I have to thank you for your Honesty,Openness and Willingness in working this program. I read your post on just wanting to chat. You have certainly inspired me,most of all it gives people Hope that yes this program works if you work it and your worth it.
HOPE= HANG ON PEACE EXISTS
HUGS
__________________
"Life is full of friends I have yet to meet" My Quote
Ty sooo much for your honest share im so glad that you just put it out there so often i have belonged to boards where people just skim over how they got to where they are today. maybe its cause we have to follow some kind of protcall and thats ok but at times i need to remember where i have come from and why im here and remind myself of why i stay. for me i wouldnt trade my best day drunk or stoned for my worst day clean and sober because i can think of where i was and never wanna go back.
Please keep coming back to share. I admire and respect you for all the strength and courage you're demonstrating and I hope you'll agree that you're worth it. May you continue with all your efforts and hard work as you keep on your path of healing and recovery, and the good life.
