Sorry for asking another question.. I'll try to shut up. I've just been needing to talk about things for so long.. to another alcoholic.. not just my best friend or my husband. Even tho they are truly supportive and hubby was alcoholic for 10 years and recovered.. I don't think they truly understand.
Have any of you.. once you enter recovery and sobriety cry a lot? It seems like each day I think of something new and stupid/hurtful I did drinking and it kills me inside. I can't get past the point.. Well.. I was drinking.. that wasn't me. This is me now... it hurts too deep and I feel like there's no way I can make up for my sins except being sober.
When do the sorrow and tears stop? When does it become brighter and become tears of joy? How long will this hell last?? ='[
First don't stop asking questions. In the Alano clubhouse where I got sober there is a sign that say the newcomer is the most important person in the room. helping people like you is the reason that those of us who have a few 24 hours behind us keep coming here. To answer your question YES it is completely normal in fact in the coming days and weeks you will likely experience some mood swings. Its all normal and will subside with time. Hang in there sobriety is worth it.
I'm praying for you
Bryan
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Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Romans 8:6 , The Message
Hi there Get a big book and start reading it! You will be soooo surprized to find yourself in there!! I especially liked the stories in the back of the book in the beginning when the first part got to overwhelming...
It is true also that YOU are important and were here for you.
Try talking to your husband. If he is also in recovery he can probably share with you what he felt like!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
I was thinking back on my own day four of sobriety. I went to a meeting that evening and an old timer and a wonderful lady said smething to me that had stuck with me. My share that evening was much like your message here how can I ever make up for what I've done, when is it going to get better. That lady simply looked me and said "Bryan just keep coming back we'll love you, until you can learn to love yourself"
hang in there Krystel
Bryan
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Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Romans 8:6 , The Message
Hubby 'was' an alcoholic? I'm confused. Please explain, the more I understand the better I am at lend that helping hand (plus I'm just nosey today )
I didn't cry, I slept, A LOT!
AA meetings and a sponsor can help you with all of this. We do not regret our past, it is what has made us who we are today in sobriety. Working a 12 step program will guide you through this, it won't be easy, but it will be worth it.
I do hope you get to a meeting and keep coming here and posting ALL you want. This is an awesome place with lots of kind, caring folks.
(((Hugs)))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Hubby 'was' an alcoholic? I'm confused. Please explain, the more I understand the better I am at lend that helping hand (plus I'm just nosey today )
I didn't cry, I slept, A LOT!
AA meetings and a sponsor can help you with all of this. We do not regret our past, it is what has made us who we are today in sobriety. Working a 12 step program will guide you through this, it won't be easy, but it will be worth it.
I do hope you get to a meeting and keep coming here and posting ALL you want. This is an awesome place with lots of kind, caring folks.
(((Hugs)))
*hugs* Yeah i know.. I've been super sleepy..
Yeah.. i know it sounds weird.. I don't know if it is WAS or what'd you call it.. but he drink like insane everyday and had to have it for 10 years and then he just stopped years ago and now if he wants to like at a resturant, he'll order a beer or something and he said he learned to control it, it doesn't control him anymore.. i don't know if you'd classify him as an alcoholic or not.. but he quit for years and now the way he drinks really makes me sick.. cause i am JEALOUS!!.. when I was drinking.. I'd ask him to drink with me so I wouldn't feel so alone.. he'd get a bottle of wine and it'd take him a week to finish it. I'd finish a fifth of jack in a day. He never drinks on his own want, only when I ask him to. It's amazing.. guess he's one of those tiny percents that were able to return back to social drinking.. he says he doesn't even want it hardly anymore and I know for a fact he doesn't cause he never does except like maybe um.. every 5 months he'll have a little bit and control his intake.. he's shared a lot of stories of his past with me. told me he handed his brother-in-law the beer he was drinking and said "here, i don't want it anymore" and didn't pick it up for 10 years again.. that man has more self-control than anybody i've ever known. he has this big theory that you can do anything you set you mind to if you want to do it bad enough.. example he quit smoking for 1 1/2 half when i only lasted 3 hours.
even through his self-control and strength he has.. he never puts me down, he hugs me and says "i know it's hard honey, but you can do it"
so maybe he wasn't exactly an alcoholic, maybe just a drunk =P
-- Edited by whiskey__heartache at 21:07, 2008-05-28
oh by the way.. about my hubby.. he doesn't even like the social drink anymore.. because of me. so he stays sober with me, even tho he never gets drunk ha. so the only time he'll take a drink is if i bring it in the house.. he used to order a beer at red lobster when my mom, i and him went together, but now he doesn't.. he hates what it has "done" to me or i have done through myself through it..
Also.. about the beer and brother-in-law thing.. don't want you to think he meant he gave it up INSTANTLY.. he had been considering sobriety two years before it actually really happened.. sorta like me.. July marks three years of me wanting to be sober.. just sorta came to a head 4 days ago, i suppose..
-- Edited by whiskey__heartache at 21:31, 2008-05-28
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