i'm back to waltzing. you know, steps 1, 2, 3, ...1, 2, 3. at 34 years old i started back to college and actually made the dean's list! i was certain that i had killed more brain cells than that! lol i started to become self sufficient, which was my big mistake. i forgot that i am powerless--not only with alcohol, but with everything else in this world. it still seems strange that we gain the most strength by admitting we are powerless. i am scared to death of step 4. i have issues revealing so much of myself. not due to denial, but i have a need to be private. i was "outed" years ago about issues not related to alcoholism and this feels the same. i am trying to prepare myself for another "outing". of course, it's probably no big secret that i was drunk for 3 years. i mean, how many lame excuses can one person come up with? hey, i think i'm helping myself. thanks for listening to my rambling!
Welcome Bella! Your honesty is a start! I too have been on the fence about step four and keep getting talked to about it. Im getting to the point where I Know its time....You'll know when your ready...It really isnt meant to scare us off, its meant to help us heal!!
My list is too dang long and I cant even imagine sharing it with someone! The more I write, the more I remember! Ugghhh!
Good luck in school. I got my RN degree late in life and there are others on here that just finished or are working on their degrees! It is a great accomplishment and especially while being sober you'll find it keeps you busy and your eye on the prize! Congrats on the deans list!!!!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
i i started to become self sufficient, which was my big mistake. i forgot that i am powerless--not only with alcohol, but with everything else in this world. it still seems strange that we gain the most strength by admitting we are powerless.
Hi Bella--That would be a direct hit! Sounds like you get it. Not knowing what you just stated is what kept me from continued sobriety, I believe.
Neat place here, hang around. I think it would be ok to take your time on step four.
I could get sober, but I couldn't stay sober. I didn't want to do the 'work' involved with the 4th step, nor did I want to share any of my 'secrets' with another human being (5th). It kept me from staying sober for 2 yrs. I was in and out, out and in.
Once I finally was truely sick and tired of being sick and tired and became willing to do whatever it takes, closed my eyes, crossed my fingers and MADE myself do these steps, I felt a sense of relief. Not right away, but it came in a week or 2. Today, I feel 'different'. Today, I know I can stay sober. I guess it was my time.......
We all gotta go thru what we gotta go thru to get where we are.
I've talked to few who've gone back out that had done steps 4 & 5.
If you desire to stay sober and find some recovery, you just gotta do it, Hun.
It's really not so bad.........I promise.
BIG (((hugs)))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
