(The "guilt" would be your part.)


The good alcoholic that I am always tries to complicate things, but I found that doing my 4th step just as it's outlined in the book was sufficient on paper, as my sponsor and I got into the 'meat' of it all on my 5th step.


BUT, you do what you need to. There are no no rules in AA.


Congrats on that step btw. I was 'amazed before I was 1/2 way thru"


:)

I didn't, and I used the 12 & 12 version. I got a composition book and allowed 2 pages for every year that I drank (and a few before) to list stuff that I did those years and tried to reconstruct chronologically. It took a coupe months but I felt it was thorough enough. I lacked postitive attributes but I think that that is farily common.

As for listing yourself, I don't see the harm unless your going to wallow in shame, guilt, and self pity over it, then it's useless. We've beaten up on ourselves enough qualifiing for this program. The 4th step isn't about beattin ourself up, it's just a tool to identify our character defects to work steps 6 and 7 with, and to be able to pull those people off of it for the 8th step list and make ammends to them. It will also help you to make you 10th step daily (and spot check) inventories as you will know your pattern of behavior from doing your 5th step.
That is where your sponsor comes in, as he will help you identify your charactor defects.
So where we think that this is some kind of mega cofession deal that we don't want to leave anything out, it really isn't. It's just a diagnostic tool to identify our problems that we need to overcome, so that we don't have to drink over them. Good going by the way, you're paying your dues to stay sober long term. Most people that go out never did a 4 and 5th step.

Dean

I did one 4th step before, and a 5th. I always figured i wasnt angry - until i got honest. Then i was writing people and things down just to be pissed off about. This time i am being as honest as i am capible of, which is new for me. Last time (well every time before that too) i was around i failed to enlarge my spiritual life... And i drank again. This time i want to be honest and have these things removed... i just dont want to go wallowing in self pity

I just realize I totally ignored this post!!!! On purpose probably!
Working on step 4 and I love the comments....Makes things a little easier to digest!!
Its not the end of the world to confess and reflect and learn more about me!!! Actually, its probably just the beginning to something greater than myself!!!


All right, Ill get busy!!!

Dear Healing brothers and sisters in Recovery,

Step 4...........


My first 4th Step, was 14 years ago with my then Sponsor and I shared my 5th Step with her also. I am still doing the Steps with my now Sponsor. However I have become more personal about choosing whom I share a 5th with. The Big Book states Pastor, Minister, Therapist so on. Whomever you are most comfortable with and trust.

I did the 4th Step out of the Big Book along with the 12 x 12. Per her ( My Sponsors) instructions daily. I was having seizures all the time so I was sick and called her everyday leaning on her sooooooo much. A.A. and she took me by the hand and babied me through the 12 Steps in the program my first year.

My child was 8 years old and I was a single Mom that is disabled.

My first 4th Step had to be complete, rigorously honest, circling the words I didn't understand in the book, and going over each section that I read with my Sponsor. I shared on the 12 Step message board. That I had more than somewhere in the very high 300's on my 4th Step. Then I released all of what I wrote on my 5th Step to my then Sponsor, (crying most of the time) taking a break for over 7 hours

WHen I was working through the steps for the first time getting Sober and getting off cigarettes too plus another substance. My SPonsor kept saying these words and phrases!
Call me your SPonsor
Call your phone list
Crying is great.
Your an Onion and we are peeling you a layer at a time to get to the middle.
Your Right where you should be.
Go read page 449 in the Big book,
Go to a meeting,
Don't date for the first year,
Stay away from your family there's too much drama and dysfunction with you trying to get well and them not well.
Read Step ?
Take a bath,
Journal
hit the pillow if your angry
Take a nap
Take a walk,
your right where you should be,
go read page 449,
read the Big book.

I Love Jouney's and Season's! ecause we are getting them at a much faaster pacce today than yesterday. We have no choice so sit back and just relax and go with the flow.

Love to you all,
Pam

lani wrote:

---

Dean....you sound like my husband!!!!!!!!!

working on it darnit!!!!!!

---

The man speaks the truth,  Git-r-done!    I'm really good at hearing 5th steps btw

Dean

Hey Lani,

I found that my embellishment of my 4th step was due to my ego, perfectionism, and my procrastination. My ego wanted it to substantial, my perfectionism wanted it to be extremely thorough, and my procrastination was to avoid my 5th step. Once this was pointed out to me, I scheduled my 5th step, which gave me a deadline to finish my 4th step and I actually got excited about doing my 5th step. The thought of getting it over with and the pride that I knew that I'd have by getting it done, after 2.5 years of floundering. I remember the first time, after I finished the 5th step, the leader of a discussion meeting asking those that had completed their 4th and 5th steps to raise their hands, how proud I was. And it made up for all those times I had to keep my hand down.

Schedule your 5th step and Git-r-done!

-- Edited by StPeteDean at 23:28, 2008-05-24