A young-buck with one year sober was leading the meeting tonight, and I had never seen him before. (It was at a Dry Club I do not go all that much.) He was the spitting DNA- image of a young man I dated years ago when starting out in the program. One of those "two sickies don't make a wellie" type things. The guy I was dating had a lot of the same experiences as the lead tonight, and was the spitting image of the lead in every possible way, including struggles he was facing with being able to see his very young little boy, due to legal stuff.
The boyfriend of mine, though, met an untimely end shortly after he went back out, and our relationship ended. He was found dead in his car with a needle in his arm and a bottle under the seat.
I wanted so badly to tell this young man, who was so full or cockiness and vim and vigor of a youth in recovery with his first year.... but I did not approach him after the meeting. I just want to keep him in my prayers. I did not want to give him the "wrong idea" of why I was really approaching him. Yada Yada. I hope he continues to be a success and stay sober and healthy, like he is growing to be now.
I have to think tonight about how I was when young and in early recovery. How many times after I began, that I went back and tried to drink/use again successfully, and how many times I narrowly escaoed my own demise. I will pray for this young fellow, and I will keep coming back, knowing that those who have gone before me did not have to die in vain.
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
Alright, quit stalking the newcomers JoniJoni just kidding. I dunno if I shared this here, but last fall, when I went up to DC to attend Redskins game with a childhood friend, he told me that my first girlfriend/love, all throughout HS had died. I knew that she was a heroin addict (along with her live in boyfriend of about 20 years) since about 2 years into my sobriety. At that time I went to see her mother at work and asked her about her daughter (and tell her about my recovery). She said that Jeanie was not doing to good and that she knew that she was taking drugs but didn't know what kind, and she asked me. I told her what it was and that the source was a friend of mine who was dating Jeanie's boyfriends sister. Then she asked me what she could do about it and I told her to pray and find out a treatment center (or two) that would take Jeanie on a moments notice, the next time that she asked for help. I guess that day never came.
This summer I will be attending a 30 year reunion of the HS that I never graduated from, which is hearbreaking in itself. I just had another HS friend Bruce come down and stay at my house for the St. Pete Grand Prix. He is the Pres of the reunion committee. I asked him why is the committee only having reunions every 10 years? And I suggested that they will lose quite a few people in the next 10 years. When I told him about Jeanie, he was shocked and kept asking "what did she from" (denial?).
So last night, for some reason, I was having some gratitude about life and all of the sudden I thought about Jeanie and then about the dozens of people that have passed, who I'd been close with. It was one of those moments of clariety, I could see all their faces and remember their names. Most of their deaths were alcohol/drug related in one way or another. It was stunning. I had suggested to Bruce when while we were on the subject of Jeanie, that we try and put together a memoriam page of all the classmates that have past, in the reunion program. So Joni, I guess last night was a good night for ghost watching.
just kidding. I dunno if I shared this here, but last fall, when I went up to DC to attend Redskins game with a childhood friend, he told me that my first girlfriend/love, all throughout HS had died. I knew that she was a heroin addict (along with her live in boyfriend of about 20 years) since about 2 years into my sobriety. At that time I went to see her mother at work and asked her about her daughter (and tell her about my recovery). She said that Jeanie was not doing to good and that she knew that she was taking drugs but didn't know what kind, and she asked me. I told her what it was and that the source was a friend of mine who was dating Jeanie's boyfriends sister. Then she asked me what she could do about it and I told her to pray and find out a treatment center (or two) that would take Jeanie on a moments notice, the next time that she asked for help. I guess that day never came.