What's different about this time? That's what my CD counselor said to me as I graduated from my third CD treatment several weeks ago.
Good question, said I. So I took a look back at my struggles with alcohol and my relapses. Had 13 years at one point, relapsed. Had 5 years, relapsed. This time I've been sober since Feb 8th.
Both periods of recovery were going really well as long as I kept going to AA. I feel I relapsed because I not only quit going to AA, but when I did go I wasn't really working the steps. Didn't have a sponsor. For a long time it was enough to hang out with other people who were in recovery. Both times I felt I had done enough and didn't need to make my recovery program a priority anymore. I thought I could work on this alone and be in recovery. I was very wrong about that.
A little older this time around, don't think hanging out is going to be enough. So I have started to work the steps. Started to read and study the Big Book (never did that before either). Working on getting a sponsor, although after two tries it ain't working out so well.
(BTW, if you don't want to do the work and put in the time to be a sponsor please don't offer to be one.)
Going to lots of AA meetings, right now at least four a week. I'd go more if I were single but I feel I need to spend some time with my wife too.
Working on that turning over control thing especially. So far, it's all been worthwhile and I am reaping some benefits. Most importantly I am sober.
Got a new job, didn't end up in jail or get a DWI. Didn't have to hassle with the legal system like a lot of my buddies in treatment. I was very lucky.
Some of the things that I enjoyed, that helped me improve my program (beside working steps 4-7 that I'd previously avoided) was going to two step study meetings a week. I went to one on Mondays to get my head right for the week, and one on Fridays to get my head right for the weekend. I also enjoyed going to moring meetings and noon meetings. I got to see some dedicated folks in all three of those, and it rubbed off on me.
Welcome to MIP, Mnstar. I'm glad you're ready to take onto the next level. I hope you enjoy your new challenges & the sobriety they bring you. Please share with us as you go. I bet you've got lots of great ES&H. Fantastic to have you here. Have a peaceful & sober day, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Larry, your experiences sound a lot like mine. The slacking part, namely! That is the biggest battle I STILL have. I would get some years behind me, and no longer felt ACTIVITY in the program was a neccesity. A lot of folks here have kicked me in the butt when I have been humble enough to admit that I was slacking. I love this group, and am so glad you are here to join us!!
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
Thanks for your share. You remind me of myself in not always working the program properly. But, this is my second time in AA and I really do try to work hard at my sobriety every day. Thanks for reminding me how important it is.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
i have been in and out for ten years. i had a year once, a year and a half after that, and three years last time around... i know for myself - i failed to enlarge, and that is why i started drinking again...well that and not being 100% convinced i was really an alcoholic... im still not, but more so than ever before...