I am grumpy as hell today!!!!! What an awful feeling!!!! Nothing going on different in my life but just cant stand myself today!!!!! Cant stand anyone for that matter! Husband walked in the door after work and it even made me mad just to see him!!! Dont know if its fatigue, PMS (probably) or just pondering life!!!!!
Called my sponsor, reluctantly, and said I was grumpy. She said I could start my day over anytime and to be grateful. A 85 yr old in the program for 40 + years died today after having lunch and playing cards with friends. What a way to go!!! So, figured Id take a moment after mashing the potatoes for dinner to vent a little and pound the keys here for a moment!
I think for someone as cheerful and carefree as I tend to be this mood is enough to make me crazy!!!! Dont feel like a drink but a good swift kick in the ass might do it!!
On the bright side, I see that Tugboat has finally graced us with his presence on here! Hope all is well with you buddy if you see this!!!! Husbands asking when "all this will end...gas prices, etc" I said it doesnt matter cuz the worlds gonna end soon anyways!!! Thats where Im at!!!
So feels good to vent a little...Sorry so negative but whats a girl to do!!!!!!!
Love ya's-at least I like you guys!!!!lol
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Heya, Lani.. Great to see you throwing a good old piss-strop! We're human, arn't we & thus a myriad of emotions, thoughts & feelings. All par for the course & I don't think you're about to run out & drink on anything, Just for Today. A beautiful thing about what you've shared is that despite your mood & how dark you feel everything is for the moment, your gentle, loving personality is still shining through. Just cuz you're feeling 'bad' right now doesn't mean you Are bad & that's got to be relief too :) I hope you're riding it out & letting it go. We can't be perfect & full of the joys all the time. I'm feeling a bit grumpy too but I think tis cuz of all the pleasure I've had lately. Give yourself permission to have a few minutes off. You'll be seeing the funny side soon enough. Bless you, girl. Still proud of you & your example ;) Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
the longer you stay sober, the less days like that that you'll have. If you remember your first month, 27 days were probably just like today or worse. Back then if someone told you that 2 out 3 days would be good ones, you'd have said "where do I sign" lol.
I think the average person has a couple rough days a month, if not one a week depending on stress lever/work load. On days like these, you just need to not think. Put on some music or head phones and zone out till tomorrow.
When I feel like that I try and keep my mouth shut so I don't add to my 10th step list.
I just have to go to bed, mighty early too, on some occasions, Lani. You know that I get on a piss-pot quite often, and it is refreshing to have company once in awhile. LOL
Keep your chin up today. You will bounce back, just need to grumble a bit once in awhile too, as we all do. I definitely know exaclty what you mean about "just seeing hubby p***ed me off". I have those days frequently. LOL I think after a man has been with a woman for at least a year, he probably understands the "look"...... the one that says, "Don't even think about it... don't touch me, don't even look at me". It happens.
You also work nights, right? That must be kinda goofy for your internal clock. So give yourself a break today, my friend. I am off to work, and making a date with myself to be back in bed by about 8 tonight. We alkies are delicate creatures, not to mention throwing the hormones in with.
Take care of yourself today, and let yourself be in whatever kind of sitnky mood you need to be in. Tomorrow can be brighter.
Love and hugs, Joni
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
I am so glad I put the feelings/emotions out there that I was feeling! Felt much better after the fact.... Thanks for reminding me Danielle that I am human and its ok to have an off day! Thank you for your kind words and especially taking the time to respond to my whining! (and I love the recap of Dolls post as I hadnt seen it before!!)
Dean, I had to laugh when you brought up music. Here we are, as a family, sitting down for dinner and hubby puts on a CD for listening pleasure. Well, at first its David sanborn sax music and the next thing we hear is..."I'll be home for Christmas!" We all chuckled a bit for a moment, then back to my gloomy mood...It wasnt until the song played for the fourth time in a row that we were all rollng with laughter....It was on repeat!!!!
Cant explain it but the laughter alone made me feel sooo much better.
Then off to my womans group...Love that meeting! Step 10-11 and my spiritual "hole" got filled to overbrimming!!!! Everyone it seemed, talked of their spiritual awakenings and how filled they were! God sent messages or what!!!! It was right where I needed to be and I spent an hour after the meeting in true fellowship! Thats what its about!!!!
I know Im at the point in my recovery where as you all have said, some action is needed! My emotions are all coming to the surface and Im trying to learn how to deal with them... Ive been on my sponsors butt (lol) about getting together more often and to get some step work going! Praying about that situation too!
So, today, although gloomy, is a new day! Feel good so far and hope it lasts!!!!
Thanks for being here for me as always!!!! You guys are the best!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
It is the night shift that kicks my butt and the damn PMS!!!! Whatever reason, it did feel good to have a "piss-pot" for a spell!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!
Enjoy your day at work...hope its still keeping you busy, happy and sober!!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
UGH!!! Work keeps me exhausted!! BUT.... our Physician's Assistant is getting married this weekend, so since we will be down one prescriber, I am off tomorrow, and do not have to return to work until next Thursday now!! Can you believe it??? I am kinda bummed about it actually, but this is the perfect time for me to get my carpets steam cleaned, and get the house ready for the rugrats, as they will be flying in June 3rd!! Also it will be a good time to get to a lot of meetings, with absolutely NO excuses!!! :o)
Continental Airlines accidently DOUBLE CHARGED my husband for the tickets!!! He was livid, and they were real jerks about it. Hmph!!! So there is my little whine for the day (or his... lol) Thank GOD it did not cause an overdraft or anything like that. Thank GOD!!!
So it is indeed a pretty good day, and now, knowing I am off work for several days, I all of a sudden do not feel quite so tired!! Amazing how the mind works, eh??
Hope you are rising up out of the gloom. I will say, living only 2.5 hours from you, that this weather is the PITS. It seems like our entire spring is freezing cold, and pouring rain. Then by the time the sun comes out for a spell, it will be 89 degrees and humid, and we will be sweating like hogs!!! Ack!!!
I guess you ARE in good company today.... I am still fresh in sobriety (hope I always remain such), and I like a good "let it all hang out" bitch session, followed by some gratitude... let's see, time to go over to that gratitude post....
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
