This is a situation that happened to me that took me off guard. So I thought that I would share it with you. I have already shared it at my Women's group and with my Sponsor.
One week ago Sunday after Church we were approached by one of the men we have met in the praise team. He came over to us my husband and myself in the foyer of our Church and invited us to a barbeque. We were having Barbeque chicken salad and french bread. He asked us to bring a couple of 6 packs of sodas. We arrived at his home that was exceptionally nice with all the bells and whistles, the pool, the horseshoe pit, the outdoor barbeque, the acreage, so on.
However, we had no idea that they were all going to be drinking. They all either had a beer, or those drinks I have never seen in a bottle that looks like beer but they were hard liquor or something else, another type of liquor. I haven't had a drink in 14 years so I have been out of the circuit. I couldn't stay past our Chicken salad. I didn't want a drink but I certainly didn't want to sit there while they all got drunk in the heat at 1:30 p.m. All of us are in our 40's 50's and even in there 60's. So the booze was going to take effect. If it was me when I drank I would have kept going until weee hours of the night added another substance and away I went.
I have changed old routines like it says in Living Sober page 19 - 22. And being weary of drinking occasions page 64-70 in Living Sober. My take on going to places where there is going to be drinking. Is that I don't really want to go and I have no reason to be there. I grew up with the insanity of alcoholism with my Dad.
My Dad, my sisters, me, my mom, my brother. Now it's the next generation my Son, my nephew and so on all have either severe drinking problems or they are starting to. Including the jails, institutions and the like that goes along with it.
I learned a valuable lesson that I need to think about an invittation first before saying "YES." That way I can find out a little about the person/persons inviting me from our Pastor or friends. I Love them, accept them, will pray for them, and will bless them and there home. But we will turn down invitations to lunches, dinners, or functions other than Church affiliated functions. That way I don't have to be around drinking I can enjoy my Sobriety and others that are also sober.
God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference.
Excellent post advising us that opportunity will appear in the least likely places, and how inner strength carried her through, and then learned from it. Thanks Ann
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I'm proud to say I am an Alcoholic, and my name is Scott.
If the plan for me is divinely inspired, no man shall find fault with where I am today, or how I got here.
Pam, Thank you for this post. I have to remember that things may catch me off guard this summer, just like they did you. But you made the right decision, and I thank you for the example.
By the way, I LOVE the picture of you and your dog!!! It is wonderful!!!
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
Thanks for the share Pam Its good to see you posting again! I think you were around when I first found MIP! Thanks for the reminder!
We can always leave the party if need be! Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
I had to quit hanging out with several friends because they just wanted me to drink too much. Total bummer. At first I just kept in mind that they just don't understand, but after a a few times of hearing that I should, "just use a little self control" and "just drink in moderation" it didn't bother me so much. And nothing is forever, yeah? I'm sure I'll be seeing some of them in the rooms sooner or later. ;)
As far as the party situation- I can handle a cocktail party but I'm with you- being around a bunch of drunks while you're sober isn't nearly the entertainment it used to be.
I'm with you folks. I'm away from home at a professional conference and there is quite a bit of drinking going on in the evenings. I skipped the cocktail reception this evening and went to an AA meeting instead. It was a small, warm, fantastic meeting! I will take it day by day, moment by moment as to whether I attend any of the alcohol-focused "social" functions. I'm here to attend seminars to learn things in my profession, and don't think I need any further education in how to get drunk. Pretty much got that down pat from my own experience!
It would have depended on the quality of barbeque and conversation for me. If no one was actually getting ripped I wouldnt pay much attention to the adult beverages. My first few year sober all I could do was notice the drinks and back then yes I would leave. Sometimes I'll get uncomfortable if I can tell they are uncomfortable about me not drinking. That only ever happens when I happen to get around old drinking buddies for like a wedding or something. It almost never happens when the people are just normal social drinkers unlike my old friends. Its pretty simple for me, if Im enjoying myself I stay and if Im not I leave as soon as its appropriate or immediately. It sure is nice have the mental obsession removed. Im free.
Everything that all of you have said is worth reading. I have been reminded lately by two new comers (that want me to sponsor them) of what it was like and what it is like today.
I Love God, his Son, the helper! I Love Pam! I Love my Son! I Love my husband! I Love Recovery! Thanks and BLessings to you all, Pam P
