Many of us picked on ourselves unmercifully before recovery. We may also have a tendency too pick on ourselves after we begin recovery.
If I was really recovering, I wouldn't be doing that again . . . I should be further along than I am. These are statements that we indulge in when we're feeling shame. We don't need to treat ourselves that way. There is no benefit.
Remember, shame blocks us. But self-love and acceptance enable us to grow and change. If we truly have done something we feel guilty about, we can correct it with an amend and an attitude of self-acceptance and love.
Even if we slip back to our old, codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, we do not need to be ashamed. We all regress from time to time. That's how we learn and grow. Relapse, or recycling, is an important and necessary part of recovery. And the way out of recycling is not by shaming ourselves. That leads us deeper into codependency.
Much pain comes from trying to be perfect. Perfection is impossible unless we think of it in a new way: Perfection is being who and where we are today; it's accepting and loving ourselves just as we are. We are each right where we need to be in our recovery.
Today, I will love and accept myself for who I am and where I am in my recovery process. I am right where I need to be to get to where I'm going tomorrow.
From The Language of Letting Go
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
I think I need to cut and paste this one, Carol. Thank you so much for sharing it!!!
This meditation today has answered a HUGE question I had, which I could not put my finger on. You see, I feel GUILTY for making honest mistakes today, whether at work or otherwise. I should never ever feel GUILTY for being human. Guilt is meant for an intirely different thing.
This false-guilt, for me, stems from the fact that I am expecting perfection out of myself. Have to get the tapes that play "What's WRONG with you..." and "Damn You!!" OUT of my head, with God's help....
Thanks so much for helping me today, more than you know.
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
