I am so embarassed. it started with a beer here and there, but I now can't stop. I actually haven't not had a drink in a few years, with the exception of if i was sick. Please read my reply in the post i am new here. Jenny
Jenny, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. If you are an alcoholic, you must begin to recognize that alcoholism is a disease of the mind and body, where you no longer have control over whether you drink or not.
Pick up a copy of the book Alcoholics Anonymous, and start reading it. You will find that alcoholism is a disease with a mind of it's own, and no amount of Will Power can arrest it. It is not a matter of will... every alcoholic at some point wishes that he or she could stop drinking. But we can't, without help. Even the doctors, lawyers, and laborers in that book all had to ask for help.
Realizing we are in trouble with our dirnking is a humbling, and often humiliating experience. But if we do not get help, that humiliation gets worse and fuels our drinking even more. Please contact someone in AA in your area. Stick close to the forum here, and let us help you to let someone into your life who really can help.
((((hugs))))
__________________
~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
^^^^^^^^^^^ I couldn't have said it any better. Jenny (what does that make? four Jens we have here now? ) AA is a simple program , with just about gaurranteed results, for people who want to get sober. It sounds like you want to get sober. If so you must pick up the phone and ask for some help. It's hard to do and the phone feels like it weighs 100 lbs, but it's the way most of us got here, outside of judges requiring us to attend, which usually doesn't work, because we must want to come in on our own and get sober for ourselves. There is no shame in having this disease, it affects all kinds of people, all walks, all ages, all levels of education and profession. It does not discriminate. It's believed that alcoholism is largely genetic and that we, who have it, are predisposed. Both my parents we're alcoholics. Ths at plus being 2/3 Irish, and growing up in the 60'/70's = I never had a chance. I had a very interesting life (albeit painful) until I got sober, and I've had an absolutely wonderful life since, and it never ceases to amaze me how it can keep getting better over time. I hope that you'll give this a reasonable try. I posted a link to meetings in the PA area. If you can't muster the courage to call AA, Pick a friday or Saturday nite "speakers" meeting in your area and go. You'll find that the people in attendence of any particular meeting, geographically, will reflect the cross section of demographics in that area (uptown, downtown, subburbs, out in the country). I've attended meetings all over the country and all over the world, and it amazes me how every kind of person, that works this program, has a very visable spark, energy, spirituality, enthusiasm, happiness, and gratitude about them. When I first started going to meetings, I didn't think that it was possible for me to feel as good as "Those people" in the meetings. But I stayed, and I "kept coming back". I hope you will also.
) AA is a simple program , with just about gaurranteed results, for people who want to get sober. It sounds like you want to get sober. If so you must pick up the phone and ask for some help. It's hard to do and the phone feels like it weighs 100 lbs, but it's the way most of us got here, outside of judges requiring us to attend, which usually doesn't work, because we must want to come in on our own and get sober for ourselves. There is no shame in having this disease, it affects all kinds of people, all walks, all ages, all levels of education and profession. It does not discriminate. It's believed that alcoholism is largely genetic and that we, who have it, are predisposed. Both my parents we're alcoholics. Ths at plus being 2/3 Irish, and growing up in the 60'/70's = I never had a chance. I had a very interesting life (albeit painful) until I got sober, and I've had an absolutely wonderful life since, and it never ceases to amaze me how it can keep getting better over time. I hope that you'll give this a reasonable try. I posted a link to meetings in the PA area. If you can't muster the courage to call AA, Pick a friday or Saturday nite "speakers" meeting in your area and go. You'll find that the people in attendence of any particular meeting, geographically, will reflect the cross section of demographics in that area (uptown, downtown, subburbs, out in the country). I've attended meetings all over the country and all over the world, and it amazes me how every kind of person, that works this program, has a very visable spark, energy, spirituality, enthusiasm, happiness, and gratitude about them. When I first started going to meetings, I didn't think that it was possible for me to feel as good as "Those people" in the meetings. But I stayed, and I "kept coming back". I hope you will also.