Thank you for keeping me straight yesterday. Please help me stay straight today. -- paraphrased from Alcoholics Anonymous
When I first began my recovery from codependency, I was furious about having to begin another recovery program. Seven years earlier, I had begun recovery from chemical dependency. It didn't seem fair that one person should have to address two major issues in one lifetime.
I've gotten over my anger. I've learned that my recoveries aren't isolated from one another. Many of us recovering from codependency and adult children issues are also recovering from addictions: alcoholism, other drug dependency, gambling, food, work, or sex addiction. Some of us are trying to stay free of other compulsive disorders - ranging from caretaking to compulsively feeling miserable, guilty, or ashamed.
An important part of codependency recovery is staying clean and free of our compulsive or addictive behaviors. Recovery is one big room we've entered called healthy living.
We can wave the white flag of surrender to all our addictions. We can safely turn to a Power greater than ourselves to relieve us of our compulsive behavior. We know that now. Once we begin actively working a program of recovery, God will relieve us of our addictions. Ask God each morning to help us stay free of our addictions and compulsions. Thank God for helping us the day before.
Today, God, help me pay attention to all my recovery issues. Help me know that before I can work on the finer points of my recovery, such as my relationships, I must be free of addictive behaviors.
From The Language of Letting Go
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Boy, isn't this the truth!! I have found that recovery form codependency has made recovery from alcoholism much simple and easier. And it is all the same principles, indeed! You can't let go of some areas of your life, only to keep a strangle-hold on others. It just doesn't work that way, as serenity eludes us when we try to hold on to ANYTHING negative in our lives.
Thanks for the post, Carol. Great stuff.
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
There's plenty of time, Nisha.... enjoy your sobriety this weekend!! Your problems will still be there to solve come Monday. (I am a bad influence!! LOL)
:o) :o) :o)
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
For me, addressing my codependent charactoristics wasn't something I could put off till later. They seemed to be keeping me from staying sober. 2 years had gone by, while I was attending AA meetings on a daily basis and I wasn't getting past 2 month sober. I had heard about Coda and was wanting to go to a meeting "someday" but my higher power had other plans and I showed up one night, at my AA club, for what I thought was an 8 pm AA meeting. I was a couple minutes late as usuall, sipping my coffee and going to the other side of the room I sat down looked up and saw that the room had about 50 women and 2 other guys.
Wow, I thought, it must be a womens meeting and three of us didn't get the memo lol. "the only requirement for membership is a desire..." I thought, they can't make me leave. Then the leader read the topic for conversation, "I accepted sex, when all that I wanted was to be loved". So that's what they talk about in Women's AA meetings I thought lol, I still didn't get it. Then the leader spoke, "I'm Mary and I'm a Codependent"... "Oh shit" I thought, I'm in a freaking women's Coda meeting, how awful is that lol.
Then I got treated to hearing a dozen women's stories about the receiving side of Womanizing. I thought to my Higher Power, "I'm going get you for this", he laughed. And so the humble begining of my recovery in Coda. It's a good thing. From that day forward I miraculously didn't feel the need to pick up a drink or a drug.
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
I have recently discovered that I am co-dependent. (Thanks Phil and Dean for a thread a while back).
I 'assumed' that my life was in order other than the drinking part! I always interpretted 'codependent' as relying on someone to pay my bills, make my decisions, etc. But I also thought that all alcoholics were bums and homeless.
What an eye opener. Once I accepted the fact of co-dependency and started doing my best to live in a solution, my sobriety changed and I know now that I CAN stay sober....I haven't struggled with it in 8 months now!
Thanks for the post....
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
