Is it totally absurd...

Tipsy McStagger · Senior Member

Is it totally absurd...

Ms London · Veteran Member

I'm new at all this, so what do I know, but for what it's worth I think the key there is 'nobody really gets hurt'. That's impossible to guarantee. And, knowing the way my mind works, if nobody did get hurt then I would think 'oh, maybe I CAN actually drink normally again' and want to give it another go.

eastcoastscott · Senior Member

I know for sure that I couldn't do it. Even if a pill came out that assured me I could drink safely again, I wouldn't do it. I'm tired of fighting with alcohol. Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.

Doll · MIP Old Timer

The person who has those thoughts, I'd say, needs to double up on meetings, spend some much needed time with their sponsor and practice the steps a bit harder. Their disease has them by the balls. They may have no problem admitting they're alcoholic, but they have not yet accepted/believe it...Alcoholism - Cunning, baffling, powerful.

Your comparison is apples and organges.

I hear it all the time in meetings " I know have another drink in me, but not sure I have another recovery" So, why take the chance?

"What I will be tomorrow is determined by what I think today" Daily Reflections May 1.

-- Edited by Doll at 07:37, 2008-05-02

jonijoni · MIP Old Timer

Since when has drinking ever turned out like we planned it? Plus, do you really think you are going to be able to NOT pick up again after getting sauced? Pretty soon it will be, "OK... one more bender next weekend, then I am done." Then, "OK, only one weekends..." etc. etc. etc..... ad infinitum, until you are alone, broke, mentally bankrupt, suicidal, in jail... etc.

Half measures availed us nothing, Tipsy. Not "beating you up", just reinforcing this for my own tendency to have foolish notions. It does not work if we work it part of the time.

turninggrey · MIP Old Timer

Hey Tipsy,
No it won't work. You sound desperate for a "plan" that will allow you to some how drink, and we all did that. We then found that we convinced ourselves that since the "allowed bender policy" worked so well that we should have them more than 2 times a year, and that we should allow them once a quarter, and then we would take them early and then take them quarterly any until we just said what the hell, and were back to it. Tipsy, any experienced reforming alcoholic (and I hope you can say you are one soon) will tell you they thought just like you. You are not alone. I did the same thing. I still do a "self check"-- even as early as this morning--and the thing about this program is that it works. It worked in the 1920's when Bill W wrote the "Big Book" and he describes exactly what you are thinking of doing. We come up with all kinds of ways to allow ourselves to drink. If you go down that path, you will end up back in the Hell that you already know.
Doll above has pegged it. I was very lucky to have moved right when I quit drinking so I was able to sever myself from my old drinking buddies. It sounds like that is part of the problem for you. You still need to socalize, because you are young, human, and your social crowd drinks--alot. They are also young and can not understand alcoholism and its hard for you to understand that you actually have a disease. This is a bad mix. Like the others said above, you probably need to start making new friends at AA that understand your situation and wean yourself off your old crowd. I am saying this because I really want you to live a happy life. Its tough leaving friends, but It is also a great adventure breaking out of a rut and making new ones.
Honestly--good luck. There are all kinds of movies made about tough people; athletes, politicians, students...but if you can get past this, they should make one about you because what you are trying to do--kick alcohol--is an achievement on that level.
Stay tough.
Tom

-- Edited by turninggrey at 08:19, 2008-05-02

TenderheartsKS · Senior Member

Actually I tried that plan, and it failed miserably. To think I could drink once and not have the compulsion to continue drinking was nothing short of insanity. It was the most miserable two months of my life, and I was very blessed to make it back to AA and into recovery again.

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

TM, it's the obsessing about the drink, that's the problem, the insanity

Quetzal · MIP Old Timer

Hi Tipsy,

I tried that idea of just drinking once or twice a year and it just didn't work. For me, once I had the taste of alcohol I couldn't put it down. I know that I can never safely drink again and I have no desire to drink again. Meetings, spending time with my sponsor and working the steps have all helped to remove the desire to drink.

Take care,

Carol

lani · MIP Old Timer

I agree, we all have thoughts like youre experiencing! Thats why it is addressed in the big book.....Changing where your drinking, what your drinking and trying to control how much youre drinking! Plain old doesnt work although many of us just had to try it. I still have days of thinking one glass wont hurt but I know, If I bought a bottle of wine for example, Id say, "just one more until it was gone!!!"

So, you are normal in your thinking, believe it or not, its what you choose to do to stop thnkin of drinkin that matters!!!!!!!!
L

BatonRougian · Veteran Member

"The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death."

cooncatbob · Senior Member

I like to think of my disease (alcohol) as a 600 lb Gorilla. He's locked up in a cage but he doesn't like it and he's pissed.
He lies to me all the time tells me it will be different or if I let him out for a couple hours he'll be a good boy and go back into to his cage.
Now I don't know what kind of alcoholic you are/were but I could never just have a couple drinks, I'd start drinking and I'd never know where I would end up.
My Gorilla is in his cage and I plan on keeping him there. LOL
It's truly easier to stay sober then to get sober.

Sick of being sick · MIP Old Timer

Tried it too..

Same results as everybody above. Like Carol said, only it wasn't the taste, but the buzz after just the second drink. And, as with all our other friends on this thread, I might succed with that first single experiment....briefly. Then, it was "Well, I handled that ok. Maybe, I could just do it again next weekend instead of waiting for the 3 months I said I would." Then, "Well, I'll just only drink every other day." Then, "Well, as long as I only drink after 5."

Even if, through some extreme exercise of willpower (which I have admitted to myself that I do NOT have), I could get stewed only once every 6 months, I cannot even wildly dream of why I would want to put myself through the 6, 8 or 12 weeks of the torture and torment of having to fight the craving/mad desire to have more. I like where I am now, just having to deal with my occasional stinkin' thinkin' without having to deal with physical cravings as well.
I really liked Bob's analogy. If I let that 600 lb gorilla out of his cage because he promises to behave?? That sucker will start slappin' me off the walls in short order, and I will get awful bruised getting him back in....IF I am lucky enough to get him back in the next time.

Bryan39 · Senior Member

Yep I tried it too , about a year before I quit for good I went for 6 weeks without then decided to treat myself to a bender I was back to my old ways from then til I came to AA 10 or 11 months later.

please tell us you ask before you tried it but either way kee pposting typsy we love ya man

Bryan

Bryan39 · Senior Member

Hey the following is cut and pasted from the dr's opinion thought it might help as well the final paragraph esp

The classification of alcoholics seems most difficult, and in much detail is outside the scope of this book. There are, of course, the psychopaths who are emotionally unstable. We are all familiar with this type. They are always going on the wagon for keeps. They are over-remorseful and make many resolutions, but never a decision.

There is the type of man who is unwilling to admit that he cannot take a drink. He plans various ways of drinking. He changes his brand or his environment. There is the type who always believes that after being entirely free from alcohol for a period of time he can take a drink without danger. There is the manic-depressive type, who is, perhaps, the least understood by his friends, and about whom a whole chapter could be written.

Then there are types entirely normal in every respect except in the effect alcohol has upon them. They are often able, intelligent, friendly people.

All these, and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon, as we have suggested, may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been, by any treatment with which we are familiar, permanently eradicated. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence.

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

"There is the manic-depressive type, who is, perhaps, the least understood by his friends, and about whom a whole chapter could be written"

damn TM that sounds a lot like someone we know

Doll · MIP Old Timer

Tipsy McStagger wrote:

Is it totally absurd...to be an admitted alcoholic who allows him/herself one or two controlled benders a year?

YES! It is!

thanks for posting this...I leave in a few days for Bike Week and I needed to hear all of this, not that I had this thought, but for insurance should the thought creep in.........So, thank you.......Still amazes me I hear what I need to even when I don't always know it till later.

Nisha · Veteran Member

I certainly cannot handle it. Think we keep on thinking and dreaming about alcohol in recovery stages, and ways to control it- its obsession ! I am sure alcohol and sanity cannot co-exist in the life of an alcoholic!!
Nisha

cooncatbob · Senior Member

Tipsy McStagger wrote:

to be an admitted alcoholic who allows him/herself one or two controlled benders a year?

Now before you give me a verbal fisting please hear me out...all I'm asking is would it be so awful if it was planned, properly supervised with certain rules and restrictions put in place for safety. It would be like a fat person treating themselves to eating half a chocolate cake, it's not exactly good for them but when all is said and done nobody really gets hurt if right.

Your thoughts?

Why would you feel allowing yourself to drink once or twice a year is a treat??
The food analogy doesn't jib, eating a chocolate cake isn't going to cause me pain and degradation. Cake won't cause me to wind up in jail or shit my pants. LOL. When I first started drinking I got that feeling of ease and confort but those days are long past for me.
Your analogy of drinking under controled conditions is false also, if we alcoholics could control our drinking we wouldn't be alcoholics.
This topic in general makes me wonder if you truely had a spiritual awakening or whether your just trolling, trying to get the poor dumb alkies all stirred up.
If you are really considering control drinking after all that you've shared here about your drinking career I'd have to question your acceptance and your sanity and suggest that you need to work further on steps 1 and 2.

-- Edited by cooncatbob at 16:13, 2008-05-03

-- Edited by cooncatbob at 16:15, 2008-05-03

-- Edited by cooncatbob at 16:16, 2008-05-03

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

I know tis 1Day@aTime & Just for Today & maybe I'm yet full of pride & ego but I'd rather have the continuous sobriety. For me, it's one of my most enduring achievements. Though I couldn't do this without fellowship, my program, MIP, my Sponsor & HP.. I'm still pretty proud of still being sober today despite my moaning & creaking. I know tis just my alcoholic thinking trying to weedle me back out there. My soul & Higher Self wants to live spiritually, mentally & physically & taking a drink for me would be an abomination of all of that. Spiritual suicide. I dread to think how much even worse than that it could get & I believe what I hear around the rooms 'It gets worse, never better'. So ~ Just for Today ~ I'll be staying sober. Yes, much easier than getting sober. Stick with your good work, James & keep outing those reservations ;) Danielle x

TLH · MIP Old Timer

I know from experience that it doesn't work for me.