Someone suggested I introduce myself here, so hello. Your stories are amazing. I'm not there yet but hopefully I can find my way there. Never been to a meeting, and have no idea how to start this.
I'm sure my story will be like everyone else's, so I'll spare you. I will say my life pretty much defines "functional" alcoholic. Until recently. Getting old sucks! My body is failing, my work is suffering...something's gotta give, or I'll die in my sleep soon. I've always had severe apnea, and yet I continue to drink myself to sleep every night, never using my machine.
So, there you have it! Y'all sound like a very nice, tight-nit group. That's a good thing to see online these days.
Take care all. Hope to talk to you soon.
D
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There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up. -- Oscar Wilde
I too 'functioned' for many, many years while drinking. Never lost a job, home, no jail time, etc, etc. My health was failing. The realization was given to me, if I continued on that road it would just be a matter of time.
Today in sobriety I'm not just going through the motions, I'm living life and it's awesome.
You have made a start. You're realizing you can't keep going this way.......if you want to stop drinking, why not give AA a call and tell whoever answers the phone exactly what you posted here. It worked for me.
(((hugs))) and prayers.
-- Edited by Doll at 05:30, 2008-04-23
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Well, I thougth I was functioning for awhile, but when you think about it, being sleep deprived, sick, and miserable is not functional. So you have come to the right place!
I'm with Doll.... get on the phone with AA, find a meeting and get there! There is no other way to start, but to just start.
So glad you are here, and again, welcome!!!
Joni
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
Welcome to the board. We've all been where you're at, standing on the fence trying to summon up the courage to go forward and change. Alcohol was our friend for many years and then turned on us. And like any other relationship, we were clinging on to it long after it had served any useful purpose. The AA program is one of duplication, with just about guaranteed results. "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has throughly followed our path". Good luck in your journey, it gets better the longer that we stay sober.
Hi D, Welcome! You have made a great start by coming here and listening to the stories! Another good way to start is to simply click on the "12 steps" on the main page and look them over. They are pretty easy if you take them one by one. They may take some time to do but they are very do able. I fell into AA in 1984 as a 25 year old. I happened to pick up my parents "Big Book": http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/091585600x/webcitymall and I could not put it down because even though it was written a while ago--it described exactly what I was going through--and probably what you are going through. It offered a path to.....well, peace. (thats my take anyway) What supports me today is the "24 hours a day" book: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0894860127/webcitymall The way I use it is to read it each day and try to reduce its message to a single word like "humility" or "faith" and keep that with me the whole day when I take on its challenges. Those are individual things you can do. If you find a meeting you can show up and find the fellowship of those like yourself who are looking for the treasure of sobriety. Keep us posted or ask for whatever you need here, or like JJ said above, call AA and they can help you find the tools you need. Hang in there! Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Welcome to MIP, D! We share the same initials. Very Auspicious! Great to have you here. I'm glad you're posting & sharing with us how you are. I'd had enough of how I was living my life too & alcohol was a great ruiner for me. I picked up the phone to AA, told them honestly how I felt & they understood. I've been welcomed into meetings continously & made some really beautiful friends & AA has taught me how to be a friend today so that I can keep them! There is a wonderful life after alcohol on offer in the AA program & fellowhship. I hope you pick up the phone, try some meetings & get yourself literature to pore over & help you change your thinking. The way I thought before always led to a drink. Good luck, D. Keep coming back, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
You are all very sweet, thank you so much for the warm welcome. I will keep in touch.
Dialing that number will be the hardest thing I've ever done...and yes, I'm constantly dwelling on what will happen once I pick up the phone. I just can't imagine life without my crutch. As with many of you, it's become my closest friend (for me, about the last 20 yrs). It's not a good feeling knowing I'm going to lose that. This is something you've all been through and for the life of me, I can't figure out how a single one of you did it.
But it sure would be nice to have a life again.
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There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up. -- Oscar Wilde
Hey D! Make the call! You can not believe how the world will change for you. Try cutting and pasting this link and read the "Big Book" http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm It was written in the 1920's but it will sound so familiar to you that you will see that the story of being alcoholic does not change. Hey, let us be your crutch--or, even better, those like us at your local meeting. I am praying for you!!! Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Welcome D Im glad you found us and youre willing to make some changes in your life! I too found it scary to think I would never drink again! How in the world could anyone do that! Of course I only thought of the "good" times and my friends I partied with. How soon I forgot, I didnt really want to hang with anyone but myself so I could drink how I wanted! My life was unmanageable towards the end and I was miserable! So, think back honestly on what you;d be missing and go from there! Best of luck to you!!!! Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Welcome to the program. Love what you said about "functional". Sorry but it made me laugh because I used think I too was functional. I'll skip on the details on how F***ed up I was, trust that I and everyone else that comes into this program was more or less in the same condition During those times if we could still be functional and out there, we still would be. You are not alone.
Because of the program millions of us have come to realize how dsyfunctional we really were.
Many of us had to go through great pain, hit horrific bottoms, destroy everything and everyone in our lives before we accepted we needed to change. For me when I hear the word "functional" applied to alcholism and addiction I see the wondereful sterotypical Hollywood image of a digital clock counting down with the computerized voice overlap saying "will self destruct in ...."
Millions of us were terrified to come into these rooms and millions of us are grateful for the lives it's given us back.
If you've had enough, you've come to right place. Welcome to beginning of being able to make choices.
During those times if we could still be functional and out there, we still would be. You are not alone.
