Takes a licking but......

eastcoastscott · Senior Member

Takes a licking but......

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

Welcome back, Scott!!!! I knew you'd be trooping on & licking your wounds yet coming to new understandings. That relapse was a part of your recovery & story. Something more for you to share on your ES&H. I slipped a few times early in & it was those times that helped my resolution to stay stopped. It's been miracle after miracle & all the love of this program & fellowship that's dragged me along kicking & screaming at times but the joys I can say I have in staying sober today far outweigh any effort I've had to work for on my part & that's saying something!

Good on you for not giving up. You coulda said 'F*ck it' & stayed out there to a truly bitter rockbottom but you've swung back into the saddle quicksmart. That's great to see & I'm proud of your example & inspiration. Keep on coming back & sharing a little here each & everyday if you can. Are you getting to meetings? This'll all help keep your foot in until you've snuggled back into the middle of the AA bed ;)

Happy Sober Day, Scott.. Well Done 1Day@aTime ~ Danielle x

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hey nice to hear from you Scott. remember "Easy does it"? That goes for how you do You too. You can't change the past, but the past can put a hurting on you, if you let it. I think that there is a lot for you to be grateful for. A lot of things could have happened on that trip to Jamica? If it was me, after I got drunk, I'd probably gone out looking for drugs (cause that's what I do hmm

), got hurt, killed, or might still be in jail. The minimum is I probably would've have gone to jail because that was my patern. Also you didn't lose your relationship over it. You didn't continue to drink when you got back and loose everthing else. You're back in the program after making an honest mistake. It really could've (and does) happen to any of us. The benefit here, besides you learning that you need to work a little harder, is that through sharing your experience, you'll help countless others not take that turn. Think about it, if no one went out, and came back, we'd never know what's out there for us and we'd all leave eventually. Hang tight, this is the "easier softer way" lol smile

Dean

lani · MIP Old Timer

Hey Scott!
It is so great to see your smiling face and to have you back! You know you were in all of our prayers!!! The above responses say it all!! Just keep coming back and dont dwell on the past!!
Your a great person and have alot to offer everyone! Just add this to your list of experiences to help others!!!
Lani

TenderheartsKS · Senior Member

Scott, as another alcoholic who had to go back out there and research some more, may I say I am delighted to see you posting again!

That is terrific that you see the need for a tougher sponsor. We do have to be proactive in our recovery.

I beat myself for a good two years after I drank again, and I wouldn't want anyone to go through that kind of misery.

Keep it simple, and hang in there a day at a time!

Quetzal · MIP Old Timer

Hi Scott,

Welcome back. It really is so good to see you posting again. I know what it is like to get back into the program after a slip, but it sounds as if you are doing everything right. Keep up the good work.

Please keep posting and letting us know how things are going for you, won't you?

Take care,

Carol

messedup · Member

Amazing! good work.

Not to bring you guys down...but I'm still trying to figure out how to get started.

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hello Messedup,
Welcome to the board.
please start a new thread and introduce yourself so that you can get a proper welcome

jonijoni · MIP Old Timer

Hi Scott, and welcome back!! Pull yourself up by your boot straps like the rest of us who have had a relapse (or two...) and get busy staying sober. I know you can make it.

Messed up, welcome to you, and you are in the right place. Let us get to know you so we can see if we can help!!

Joni

BGG · Senior Member

Hang in there, Scott!!! I too relapsed after many years sober, and spent the first year back kicking my own a** nearly daily. But, it has gotten much better. For the past five to six months, I've had only a few moments where I've been mired in regret, etc. What it took for me was to keep sharing during that first year back about how I felt, even when my head told me that I was tired of sharing it and I was sure others were tired of hearing it. What I know today is that the "good stuff" I gained in my many years sober before has not been lost; what my relapse did was kick me up to another level of dedication and commitment to the Program, the Fellowship and God. Please keep coming back and please keep sharing where you are. Much love.

Tuggboat · Senior Member

Hi scott, hard to imagine that big ol smile having a hard time. as far as step three. I swear by the big book but the toughest I ever got played by my sponsor was when he got a new sponsor. As I fumbled with the third step prayer my sponsor put me on the spot at an AA campfire meeting. I lead it right and he corrected me. He had some of it backwards :) lol

I didn't think nothin of it but he went and got a new sponsor that made him read the third step in the 12 and 12 every day for 30 days. My sponsor was plenty spiritual I thought but I guess he had never surrendered completly. well to get even he suggested I might try the same exercise.

Well that was like an AA NAZI excercise by week three so if you want to keep pounding on yourself until you find someone else to whoop onya go ahead and try that. :(

Really, treat yourself a bit nice huh? God didn't make any junk and I don't think he likes people beating up on someone he loves.
ODAT

eastcoastscott · Senior Member

Awesome posts guys, thanks. I knew there would be some been there, done that experience for me to read about. I learn more and more about myself every day. This is what will work for me, it really is a "to thine own self be true" program, rigorous honesty etc. I am mostly concentrating on my emotions and feelings lately and trying to connect with my higher power more frequently. This all puts me in the frame of mind I need to be in. I may turn into some kind of Zen Master as a result but hey, if I do it sober, I'm cool with that. Ha!

Scott

lani · MIP Old Timer

Can you feel the love!!!!!?

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Scott, you need some hobbies. Get a motorcycle, it's working well for Tugger and myself

If you got big bux like Tugg, go Italian, if not go Japanese

eastcoastscott · Senior Member

Hmmmmm, not going to work. I crashed my Suzuki Bandit 1200 into a cliff last July at 150km/hr. When I was coming to, I could hear some guy running towards me screaming into his cellphone to 911 "he's dead, he's dead". He had seen me and the bike catapulting thru the air. All I could think of as I lay paralyzed was how I would explain this one.....and I asked him to reach into my backpack to remove and throw away the 3/4 empty bottle of vodka so the cops didn't find it. He did. The doctor at the hospital told me my blood/alcohol was over 3 times the legal limit. She did not report me and I still have my license. Of course I don't find this incident as shocking as say, my wife but then again, I am an alcoholic and this is what I do. There is only one way for me to remain alive, abstinence from alcohol. Other hobbies I have are scuba diving, shooting handguns and a few others that cannot be done with alcohol in me. Alcohol is 100 times stronger than me, whatever I do to avoid it, it comes back with 100 more ways to suck me in. It cant get me until I have the first drink tho!!!!!!!

Scott

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Well you can't blame that on motorcycling when alcohol was involved. Once we put aside the "all or nothing" mentality, we can enjoy risky sports through risk management and moderation. I'm a scuba diver also. Padi divemaster add a dozen tech certifications. Mostly dive ship wrecks in the 120'-200' (40-65 meters

) range with nitrox or mixed gas and O2 deco stops of 30 minutes or less. My wife has done about 150 dives with me. I hope you never tried drinking and diving. Drinking kept me from persuing diving for 20 years. What a waste of time.

I like to get down to police pistol range a few times a year, to maintain my skills. I can't win any tourneys but I can hit a target

.

I'm hoping that I can get a sober ski trip going out of this site eventually.

Dean

turninggrey · MIP Old Timer

Yo Scott,
After the mocy story, I think gardening is a good hobby! Been there done that without the tragic result.......almost though.....many times. We need to thank our HP's that we are even still here...and for what purpose????? Could your HP have possibly have spared you from that for no reason??? Nice to virtually meet you!
Tom