It's the side of myself that I refuse to look at that rules me. I must be willing to look at the dark side in order to heal my mind and heart because that is the road to freedom. I must walk into darkness to find the light and walk into fear to find peace. By revealing my secrets -- and thereby ridding myself of guilt -- I can actually change my thinking; by altering my thinking, I can change myself.
Reprinted from Daily Reflections, Page 130, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.
Thought to Ponder....
I stood in the sunlight at last.
Recovery Related Acronym
F E A R = Face Everything And Recover.
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
For me, unless I face the mistakes of my past I will never be able to heal. I guess unless I look at the "why" of things, I'll never be able to change. There must be some underlying reason why I choose to do the stupid, crazy things that Ive done to myself and other people! By working my program and digging into the fourth step...(which I agree can be very scary!!!!) I can take a good look at myself.
My people pleasing, attention getting ways got me into more trouble than I care to admit. But by looking at my past, sharing it and moving on, I learn to avoid those situations that caused me harm.
On the outside, people may look at me and think, shes not all that bad. But its the deep dark secrets, that only myself and a few others who were involved know, those are the things that could eventually lead me to drink if I dont face them and share them....
I could and was driving myself crazy trying to deal with these things. The funny thing is, by sharing them, I realize others have done the same or worse and can relate and bottom line, love me no matter what!!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
I have heard in meetings "you are only as sick as your secrets", And it sure holds true for this alky. I have found that once spoken to another alcoholic, my secrets where not as big as I had made them.
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Don't wait for your ship to come in... Swim out to it!
It gets easier after awhile, I actually look forward to finding these patches of dishonesty, denial and work on righting them. It's like the feeling you get paying off an old debt or making an amends. It feels good to do the right thing. That's after you can deal with shame and remove it from the equation.
