Just wanted to share some gratitude for where I am today in recovery. As you may recall, I relapsed three weeks before my 18th sobriety birthday (although the "set up" was a year prior when I got "too busy" and stopped going to meetings). I spent a lot of the first year back just trying to hang in there and ignore my head telling me what a failure I was (and I made lots of meetings, worked the steps with my sponsor, and dived into service work). Well . . . the past few months I've experienced a breakthrough of sorts. The sense of self-pity has lifted for the most part, and I am excited again about my life and recovery. I can honestly say that I'm truly grateful for the 17+ years of sobriety I had before; I know that I would not be where I am today without that blessing. And, I'm very grateful for the renewed respect I have for the disease of alcoholism and for the need to never rest on my laurels. I have now been sober again for 19 months--one day at a time.
Numerous A.A. members have thanked me for openly sharing my story of relapse, the struggles I had getting back to A.A., and the emotional pain of the first months back. I am beginning to see some of the blessings of my experience: (1) that others may not have to go down the same path of gradually cutting back on meetings until "there were none", and (2) that I have special compassion, empathy and understanding for those who have also slipped, and can offer them hope and encouragement. I'm going to keep coming back!!!
Thanks for sharing your story. We must have come in around the same time as I'm nearing my 19th anniv. I began attended regularly july of '87 but floundered for 2 years never getting past 3 months. It was a miserable time and the losses were piling up.
I too had gotten complacent over the years, with being in a happy marriage and working for myself. My meetings dwindled down to half a dozen or so a year. Those were usually several months before my anniv. as I know that I usually get a bit squrrely at that time.
I've always maintaned a sponsor and several AA friends, I'm sure that that kept me grounded and connected. It's also helped having an "Old Timer" for a mother.
Then a funny thing happened. I found this little message board a couple years ago and started reading and then posting and it encouraged me to start going to meetings regularly again. So I set my goal at 1 per month lol (I didn't want to fail). Then I started attending my old step study group and now found a meeting on the beach that I like so I'm getting to about 6 meetings a month (12 times my average over the last 8 years or so). It's probably more than that, I just didn't want to overestimate.
Thanks for you honesty and sharing what it's like to go through that. It shakes me up when I hear about people with over 10 or 15 years going out. Thanks for keeping me sober and congrats on your program and your positive outlook. Hey when only have today. Make every one count!
Welcome back to posting on MIP, BGG. God bless you x It's wonderful to have you here & hear your story. I'm so inspired with where you've been & how you've brought your Program forward into today with a great spin of positivity. I'm proud of & for you & feeling for today 'If you can do it I can do it..!' Mostly because it's together of course! It is a "We" Program & to be & stay connected really helps us to see & sppreciate that. When I get back on the AA~Beam after a wander I'm always delighted & surprised again at how fulfilling it is. My malady does wait doing press~ups lol I'm glad you're enjoying your second leg up into Sobriety. Your days today must have such insight & wisdom given where you've been now. Thanks for coming back & sharing all of this with us. You Are Awesome! Love in fellowship & recovery, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Hi BGG! Love that !!!!!! "By the grace of god" so many of us have been blessed! One such example is you coming back and sharing with us! Im glad you understand that the time you had in the prgram was not wasted! All's we can do is look forward, never back!!!!
Welcome back!!
I discovered and shared at my home group that although we may get sick and tired of going to meetings, it beats the alternative. For me, meetings are where my friends are, where I can share and learn from others. My old life, with the old friends, is no longer in existence mainly. If I turn my back on AA, I will be essentially alone, feeling sorry for myself and more than likely, drunk!! For today, AA is my lifeline and may I always remember that! By hearing you share, knowing where it leads, I know I have to work my program everyday, one day at a time!!!
Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
