I have not been an assertive person in the past, and I am learning to be more assertive. I found a neat part time job milking, and feeding sheep. Sheep cheese is a big thing here. Well I got myself into a situation that I fixed a few things that were broken, and now they want me to do more maintenance for the original $10.00 an hour they hired me for. I messed up, and brought my welder there, and did some welding( most people get $75.00 an hour for welding) all for $10.00 an hour. To shorten this story they want me to do more work with my tools, my experience, and under an idiot manager for $10.00 an hour. Stainless steel welding, Custom carpentry, Painting, electrical work and other odd jobs. I don't have to have this job. I like farming, and figured it would be cool to get payed to do something I really like doing. This is my plan. I am going to ask them for $20.00 an hour for just the maintenance work, and be treated like the contractor that I am. Give me a list of things to repair, and the priority they want them repaired, and leave me alone, and I will ask for the things I need. The original deal was to milk and, feed sheep for $10.00 an hour. I think that is reasonable. I don't think I should use my tools, knowledge, experience, and insurance for $10.00 an hour. I'm not going to be a jerk. I'm going to explain to them I made a mistake, and I can't do the maintenance for $10.00 an hour. I'm going to ask for $20.00 an hour and hope they settle for about $17.50. How does this sound. In the past I would have done the work for $10.00 an hour thinking I was a nice guy to get them to like me. I would get frustrated with the work, and myself and then go for a drink. I honestly am not interested in the maintenance work for any less than $18.00 an hour. In the past I would have about 5 of these situations going on, and then get all pissed off at my life, and go get so drunk I wouldn't know who I was, and black out.
great story Roberto. Setting boundaries with people in those situations is crucial. Saying yes when you want to say no leads to resentments within yourself. So learning to say no is most important. It's how we do (say it) that's tricky. I've found that with a calm voice and a sense of humor, I can get my point across and nobody gets hurt.
It's cool that you found an interest in farming and were willing to accept a wage for lower than you usually make to do it. They should be happy to have you. Maybe a compromise would be doing both but on separate days and for the appropriate pay. That would be a "win win" situation.
That is what I was thinking. Separating the work days. I am concerned if I am on track with this or am I being selfish. Forget the money that is obvious. I guess what I am asking or venting about is does this sound rite. This is the first time I have seen my pattern in this and, I want to handle it correctly. I know I have created a small mess, and I need help with my feelings on this. I am feeling guilty for letting this go to far but, I can't do it for their price. This is actualy stiring up a bunch of stuff in me I thought I had a handle on.
Good luck Robero! It doesnt hurt to ask and they may not even realize they are taking advantage of you! Hopefully! Let them throw out a price first as it may be even higher than your expecting to be paid and you can always counter offer something! Very cool that you are recognizing your worth and the triggers that might lead you to drink!! Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
I totally need to find an AA group. I tried one but it meets in a big gymnasium, and their voices echoed all over. I am def in one ear, and can't hear in the other one. I couldn't understand anyone.
Call an aa office in your town and have them send you a schedule. There has got to be some smaller, different meetings in your town.
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
That is what I was thinking. Separating the work days. I am concerned if I am on track with this or am I being selfish. Forget the money that is obvious. I guess what I am asking or venting about is does this sound rite. This is the first time I have seen my pattern in this and, I want to handle it correctly. I know I have created a small mess, and I need help with my feelings on this. I am feeling guilty for letting this go to far but, I can't do it for their price. This is actualy stiring up a bunch of stuff in me I thought I had a handle on.
Hey Roberto,
You're right on track. Just because you are over qualified for the position. And these other skills that you have have nothing to do with the job you were hired for and they know it. For them to expect you to perform skilled labor, with your own tools, and pay you at an unskilled rate, is inequitable. They are just trying to get more than they're paying for, which is human nature, not a personal attempt to take advantage of you in particular (they do the same to anyone if they had a chance).
For you to be concerned about how they feel about it, looks like typical people pleasing, that's mentioned in the AA literature. Just calmly tell them that you're taking a break from contracting for a while and that's why took this farm job. And that you don't mind doing a few things for them on a contract or appropriate hourly wage basis, which is only fair. Put the ball in their court. Tell that they don't need to pay you any higher a wage, if they don't ask you to use you journeyman skills, and then smile .
I have decided that business is business. I am qualified, and skilled to do a great job. I also know there are some people that can use a break once in the while. So I am going to run a business, and if I see a REAL NEED I will do the best I can to help them out. My old attitude was give everyone a break so they think I am a nice guy.
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