Didn't Sally Field write a book with that title or something?... Anyway, I am such a freegin' whiner. I just sat here and realized that although you would not hear a verbal complaint out of me to save my life, as it is just not my "outward personality style", I have a ton of INNER complaints at life in general, many of them unfounded, and just "part of life" any way.
I have been Biyatching about this and that, in my mind and in my posts and emails, and expressing a negative attitude a great deal. I think it is high time for a good old fashioned written-out 10th Step.
That ought to bring back some gratitude. Writing out the "bad" AND THE GOOD, right there for me to see, in black and white. I come here and see people that are dealing with all kinds of issues, and some of which they cannot, at present, change. And I am humbled. My heavens, I am now working to help treat people on a daily basis, who have had things like open heart surgery and pacemakers put in!! You would think I could get off my butt and be grateful!!
Yes, a good kick in the pants, and perhaps looking to help another alcoholic in some way this weekend might get me back on track. Me, Me, me, me, memememememeemeeeeeeee..... It is not so rough to be me, eh?
-- Edited by jonijoni at 22:55, 2008-03-28
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
Just went over tenth step in the Big Book. after trying to discuss it in meeting I realized what I had been missing by not writing.
The section is a bit tricky. It spends one paragrapgh on looking at the bad and 3 or four looking at the good. It really is the BB version of In all our affairs. Thats why it confused me. in all our affairs should be 12th step but its most generic treatment is on step 10.
Lot of talk about carrying Gods will into all aspects of our life. I guess you could consider, A Vision for You" tied in with this. the promises seem to give us a vision for ourselves and the tenth step a vision for our relations with others and a vision for you I guess gives us a vision for the fellowship.
Just rambling but I guess an inventory examining our understanding and effectiveness of manifesting God's will in these three areas might be enlightening. I'm sure we all have some bright spots in one of these areas.
I'm with ya on the internal grumbling. I've mentioned before, my favorite way to deal with myself is to just tell myself, "I'm full of shit". Its harsh but it works for me if its just me saying I'm full of shit.
I bet on some Good point Joni that your relations with others in your new job has some highlights worth giving yourself credit for. The same lack of external grumbling helps relations with others. We're supposed to be able to complain amongst ourselves though as a means of dealing with all the crap. Nothing wrong with having a sponsor and a few good friends. :) Ears were made for listening, must be important, God gave us two.
Joni, I had to giggle a little reading your post. Not at you, but at myself. I too find that there are days I just need to 'get over it' and guess what.....It usually passes.
You and I as alcoholics can not 'afford the grouch and the brainstorm' as the BB tells us, but I have to keep in mind that I am first and foremost a human being with human experiences, thoughts and feelings. The 'grouch' in me has been there my whole life, it's not just going to *poof* go away because I am sober and working a 12 step program..... Like my post to the other Jen, 'acting as if' has worked for me (when I remember to do it, that is!). I, like one of the stories in the BB (can't remember which one at the moment) have trouble with which came first "the thinking or the drinking". I finally just stopped trying to figure it out. It is what it is and now that I'm aware of it, I can take the steps toward changing it. Posting here is a wonderful form of therapy for me..... You're not going to stop being who are you, but you can work toward (and accomplish) being the best you ever!
Hugs, my friend.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Good post Joni! I prayed on the way to work last night for a fellow co-worker who is so whiny. I really didnt notice it at first because I was so into learning my new job and really staying focused on what I was doing. But the last few times I worked with her I thought, Dang, she is so unhappy and whiny. It was starting to drive me crazy!!!! Well as I said, I prayed for her. Got a call from her at work last nite and she apologized for being so negative and moody. She said it was not fair to the rest of us to hear her bitch all the time!! I thanked her and said I was glad she realized how she was acting! Shes 22 and has a great job!!!! She just needs to chill out and appreciate where she is today!!!! Wow, the prayers really worked! I'll pray for you too today!
I always say..."enjoy what you dont got!!!!""
Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
you'll know that you're getting somewhere when you get sick of hearing you own self complain. Right after that you'll notice other peoples eyes rolling and glazing over when they hear you whining (or they run when they see you coming lol). I have a rule for myself. If I'm complaining then I have to do something about it (even if that is acceptance) or Shut the **** up! It works, the adult that live in me tells the kid to get to work on the solution or shut up and deal with it. I tell myself "It Is What It Is", take a deep breathe and it goes away. Dale Carneige said, in his book "Stop worrying and start living", "It Is, and It Can't Be Otherwise". I really like that one too, it works great for stop signs, red lights, traffic, stupid people....
