Its a Sunday and I have had three days straight at home after ages.I am getting irritaed over trivial things, again unable to cope with the stress that my piled up work has put on me.
I thought i had got over my break up.But now absolutely i feel so helpless.I feel like crying out at sudden impulse.I feel that going for that one drink will take me out of the present status of mind.It will be so easy to cope up with failures and dissappointments with the aid of drinks.But I also feel guilty when I think about it.I know the repurcussions, I know what a pot hole it will land m back into, but still, it seems to be the most easy way out. I donot have to come to MIP and talk about how Iam doing , I dun have to bother about my thursday meets...its also difficult to b honest to urself, u have been living so many multiple lives u urself dunno which one is for real..
Ok so alcohol is bad, I cannot cope up with drining it, but aren't there different kinds of them available? beer is light, red wine doesn't put me on a absolute crazy spree....Even before strarting to drink i always knew whether it will land me in trouble or not..I actaully calculated the amounts of trouble and took adequate precautions about it before binging...So aren't I then a responsible drinker? Is it fair to blame everything I do, everything that has happenned bad over my alcoholism? Why, I see scores of people who drink days in and out doing fairly well with their lives.And I donot drink every day.So why kick up all this ruckus about drinking, that is as good or bad like having a coffee craving..??
I know this is crazy but all this is messing up my kind.And the worst part is that I dun feel like picking up the phone and talking to anyone.
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The most practical, beautiful, workable philosophy won't work- if you won't.
the urge to drink can be an indication of an unbalanced life. when we get sober, we learn that we are "all or nothing" people. we obsess about everything that we're currently thinking about, wanting more or to do more of it. if it's work, we want to work all day for weeks straight. if it's our relationship, we want to be with them forever and do nothing else. spending money, same thing, spend it until it's gone. when we are doing too much of one thing and one thing only, we are neglecting ourselves in all the other areas of our life. skipping meals, not getting enough sleep, proper care of ourselves, taking time to be social with our friends, taking time to exercise and have fun, and taking time to be spiritual with our higher power. it's hard to do all of that in one day, but we must, in early sobriety take a calendar and plan all of that stuff into our week and learn to balance our activities. you can start by taking care of the H.A.L.T. hungry, angry, lonely, tired. when you feel badly, try to check your feelings and see if you are hungry, eat. If you're angry go find a calming activity (music, swimming, read a book....). If you're lonely talk to a friend or a neighbor. and if your tired get some rest, even if it's in the middle of the day. I took a lot of naps in early sobriety and still take them today if I'm feeling down. when you are working, take a proper lunch and go find some quiet space or happy space to relax, don't eat at your desk. Hope this helps
Meeting yesterday.... A drug is a drug is a drug..... One guy spoke about being a drug addict , hasnt used in 6 yrs or so... Has never had a "drinking problem" but finds himself having a beer now and then. After he does so, feels soo guilty and prays for forgiveness..... Responses here are great and reflect pretty much what was said at the meeting...
Any substance that alters or mood, whether it be changing drugs or switching types of liquor we drink still alters our mood. Since I wasnt a drug taker, for me to start smoking pot b/c I had no problem with it, will probably lead me to become a pot head and then, what the heck, might as well drink cuz thats where it would lead me!
I would love to once in a well have the "feelings" taken away from me by using something! But for me, Im an alcoholic and cant do that! At least not today!
The biggest message I got from all of this is something is missing. Am I not in a good spiritual spot!? Am I praying to my HP? Going to meetings? The "god" hole as some might call it isnt full so I need to fill it with something! Whether it be sex, spending, dope.....
Good luck...These feelings arent unusual and once you get thru them you will be proud to say YOU MADE IT!!!! Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
It still surprises me how much similar alcoholics think alike, and all that wisdom that u had to offer is 'so connected' to what I am doing/feeling at the moment.It must be something which got me into AA.I will follow HALT and take some time to relax. Come to think of it when I am at work all I do is only sit at my desk at work, eat there as well..Signs I ought to take stock, rt now. Today is a new day and I am determined to take care of it.I will be sobre, will not push myself too far at work, destress..
Thanks Nisha
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The most practical, beautiful, workable philosophy won't work- if you won't.
