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Post Info TOPIC: health scare
jc2008


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health scare
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I've had a rough year health wise, not just because of my drinking (though that didn't help).  I thought I was emerging from this stuff, but now I'm in the midst of another potential crisis.  I'm very scared and angry.  Maybe feeling a little sorry for myself, if I'm totally honest.  Naturally I want to escape these feelings, but my old stand by, alcohol, is no longer an option (at least, not a good one).  So I'm posting here and planning to go to a noon meeting near my office.  What if the worst happens?  I actually had a thought this morning as I left the doctor's office that if my fears are confirmed, then screw it, I might as well drink, smoke, whatever.  I hate myself when I'm like this.  I'm just generally pissed off at the world right now so please forgive this rant.  I just needed to get this off my chest.



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StPeteDean


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Hey Jen,

There's no problem or situation that drinking won't make worse. Your disease is definitely talking to you with it's greatest manipulator Fear. If you're waiting for tests to come back, then there's nothing you can do about it now, so you just need to do "the next right thing'.  Keep busy and pray about it when you're feeling scared. Getting stressed out about it will not only not help but there's a good chance it can make it worse. There's a lot to be said for prayer and positive thinking, in terms of healing  and recovering from any condition. There's a car load of books  on the subject. "You can't afford the luxury of a negative thought" is one that I bought when I first got sober and found out that I had a liver disease. So I got two diseases (incurable) for the price of one. PM Phil, he can share some on this topic. Get to your meeting and share about your problem. A problem shared is a problem halved. It's also about living in the solution. If you've got a movie rental store near you pick up "The Secret" and watch it.  http://www.thesecret.tv/

Dean

-- Edited by StPeteDean at 11:19, 2008-03-19

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Sobrietyspell


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Hiya, Jen. Well done in your continued efforts. I'm sorry to hear about your health issues. Dean's right about a drink not making any situation better. I have to say it was brave of you to admit to self~pity. It's one of my major defects & probably the one that drags me down the most. Before I came to AA I didn't even know how sorry for myself I was. I thought my negative attitudes were justified & it's true that they were mostly rooted in fear. They were also rooted in low self~esteem & now that I know this I keep talking & allowing myself to work through them so that I can feel better & move out of it. When I'm happy I don't think about taking a drink. I only have when I'm feeling low which tells me something about why I drank in the first place! And that's not a good enough reason for me to do so today :) I hate when I'm feeling low. It can colour my whole world. That's why it's great to come here, pick up the phone or meet with people who care about me too. Keep coming back, Jen. You're doing really well. Whatever happens, you're not alone & we can help each other handle anything, away from a drink 1Day@aTime, Danielle x

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lani


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Things always happen for a reason! You drinking was probably masking a health problem youve already had and now that you can feel and deal with these issues they are popping up. Thank God your sober today and can face your problems. Once again, you'll find lots of support here because many others that post on here are, or have, dealt with health issues.

Its ok to be pissed and scared but deal with it as you have since getting sober. Talk about it, share it and you'll be surprized you are not alone!
Best of luck!

Arent you due for a 30 day coin soon?

Lani

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Quetzal


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Hi Jen,

Sorry that you're having a tough time health-wise right now. But, no matter what the problem is a drink simply cannot make it any better. For us alkies, a drink will only make the problem infinitely worse.

I had a few health issues when I was drinking and I chose to ignore them. When I got sober I decided to face them all. I'm now on heart medication, but that's fine. I'm most likely heading for needing an MRI scan for constant neck pain that I have. But, that will be OK. It just won't be OK if I drink.

It's fine to feel scared or pissed. You own your emotions and you have a right to feel them. But, you're doing the right thing by sharing with us and also getting to a meeting. Well done on how you are handling this.

Please keep posting and letting us know how things are going for you, won't you? We're all here for you.

Take care,

Carol

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jc2008


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Thanks everyone.  I went to my noon meeting.  I was determined not to talk, not to tell anyone that I wanted to drink.  Guess what the topic of the meeting was?  Fear.  It's as if everyone in the meeting read my mind, got together before the meeting, and conspired to talk about stuff that is directly on point with what I'm thinking about.  About 5 or 6 people shared on the topic, each saying things that completely resonated with me.  The kicker, though, was when one fellow said, "Self pity is a dangerous drug for me."  Finally I spoke up and spilled it.  It was a big relief.  I got lots of hugs and kind words after the meeting.  And then I read the posts here.  I feel so much better.  I'm still scared, but at least for now I don't want to make it worse by picking up a drink.  I know that it would offer only temporary relief, and lots of pain later.

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lani


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Meetings can be sooo spiritual..I know for me there have been times when Im just bursting to share and exactly what your speaking of happens!!!! You almost feel the meeting was tailor made for you! Isnt God great!!!!

Glad your feeling better!!
Lani

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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
StPeteDean


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"I know that it would offer only temporary relief, and lots of pain later."

Jen, I hate to break this to you, but you're going to hear it sooner or later. AA ruins your drinking. It's time to dispel the thought that a drink would give you joy, relief, happiness... It ain't gonna happen with all the knowledge that you've acquired even in the short time that you've been here. Trust me, I went out many times and it was never the same. "There is nothing worse than a head full of AA and a belly full of booze". I was a little taken aback when I heard that (like I was cheated or something lol) but it's all true. Don't look back, there's nothing there for you now. This is where you belong, it's your new home. *tearing*


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Phil


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Life is one day at a time...and its short  :)

Going through the tests of life sober..Is a hell of a lot better then drunk..:)

Over the last 5 years..Ive almost bit the dust 3 different times..medically..

There were a lot of dark tunnels....plus a divorce..

Never was a religious person....but these tests taught me how to truly pray...to a power outside of myself..

Well...today? Im sober...have a great girl in my life..health is good...and everything is on the up and up..

There were moments that I wanted to drink..and drive myself into oblivion...to escape the fear..

Glad that I didnt, go the alcohol suicide route...

You keep your chin up!!

And..

Keep on truckin!! one day at a time...

There are only 2 paths to take..life or death...I dont know about you, our freind..but I prefer life.

Psst..

Power of positive thinking by Norman Vincient Peal

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Nisha


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I know Dean what u mean by saying AA ruins drinking.I  experienced it first hand when I first slipped after coming to the program.Sometimes its the 'head' which stops me from drinking, 'coz I know whats it all about.I can't afford to be fooled, even by my own self, coz I 'know' the score..
smile




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hawntid


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It was just over six hours between your posts. What a difference a few hours can make. Something to keep in mind for next time.
Take care
H.

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moonbeams888


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Tsmile The Secret is a very good watch also Conversations with God.  I purchased both DVDs on line and watch them regularly.  I am doing a one day course at Sydney University in May on The Secret.  Course title is "What is the secret of The Secret" looking forward to it.  hmm

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StPeteDean


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moonbeams888 wrote:

Tsmile The Secret is a very good watch also Conversations with God. I purchased both DVDs on line and watch them regularly. I am doing a one day course at Sydney University in May on The Secret. Course title is "What is the secret of The Secret" looking forward to it. hmm


Hi Moonbeams,

My wonderful wife is the adminisator for a Unity Church. It's a "new thought" church and I get to hear and experience this stuff without much effort of my own (I call it destiny lol). The Author of "conversations with God" did a 3 day seminar at the church last year. The Church also did a cruise with Dr. Michael Beckworth (the secret) and a few other from the movie. I really wanted to go. The people that went said Dr. Beckworth's wife was even more
facinating. He is coming to the church and I'm looking forward to meeting him.
Have you seen Dr. Emoto's book "The messages from water"? He came to the church last year also. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZDOPQRdxJM&NR=1

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWmWWqm1hFs

Thats good stuff you're doing. I've mentioned "The secret" in here a couple times but no ones taken the bait yet. smile
Another cool movie about quantum physics is "What the bleep do we know"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcJyObrka-0&feature=related

 










-- Edited by StPeteDean at 09:02, 2008-03-23

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moonbeams888


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No I have not heard of "The Messages from water" but now that you have told me about it I will buy it tomorrow. I am always interested in anything that is positive and can help me. I also purchased "What the Bleep Do we know" and watched it often. I first saw Bleep about 3 years ago. Very interesting.

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moonbeams888


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StPeteDean Just finished watching those video clip links. Very good. I don't know why the video kept stopping (frozen) it happens with anything I try to watch. I don't know very much about how computers work. I am on broadband so it's faster than dial up so I don't really know what the problem is but it is very annoying


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StPeteDean


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What the bleep... was a great movie aside from the slightly overdone theatrics.


Dean

-- Edited by StPeteDean at 07:27, 2008-03-25

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moonbeams888


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ok

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