In need of help and support!

thefemininepersuasion · Newbie

In need of help and support!

Phil · MIP Old Timer

Hi

Only YOU can change things..:)

Dont drink today...one day at a time.

And joining AA will change your life.

You never hafta be alone again.

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Welcome Kassie,

We've all been there. I was a blackout drinker early until the last 8 years when I pretty much only drank beer, but still had a lot of problems. There's a lot of good people on this site and in AA. Plenty of sober women in here to relate to.
Have you been to a meeting yet? Ask lots of questions here, I'm sure that you have them. I hope you'll join us, we do have a lot of fun without drinking, one day at a time. smile

Dean

-- Edited by StPeteDean at 07:55, 2008-03-18

jc2008 · Veteran Member

I'm pretty new around here, so I don't know how much help I can be, but I wanted to respond to your post at least to let you know that I can identify with your feelings. I've been sober for a little over 3 1/2 weeks, in which I've attended a lot of AA meetings, posted here frequently, and called a lot of people I met in meetings. It has been confusing, overwhelming, and painful at times, but I've just tried to keep an open mind and ask everyone who will listen for help. I hope that you will try to do that too. Posting here is a great first step. Please try to go to a meeting -- I have found beginners' meetings and discussions helpful, moreso than speaker meetings (at least for now). You will find that the meetings are full of people eager to help you, and who have been in the same place you are in now. I feel so much better after just a few weeks. Hang in there, and post often!

Jen

lani · MIP Old Timer

Welcome!

Stick around, hit some meetings, listen to what others have to share. You arent alone as alot of us have been right where you are! Today I love the fact that I can remember what I did the night before!!!!

Lani

Doll · MIP Old Timer

I'm Jennifer, Alcoholic in S.C.

I was a black out drinker too.......The humiliation I remember well!

Sounds as if you've already proven to yourself you can't stop alone. Why not give a call to AA? Rehab? or a detox center?

You're in my prayers, hun.

((((Hugs)))

Tuggboat · Senior Member

Sorry to hear your going through what many of us had to go through. Your not as alone as you think. We and millions more like us can be found in local AA meetings and will tell you of our embarassements and own humiliations just for the asking and with no shame or lectures. Blackouts and our general tolerance become unpredictable though our tolerance in general may collapse from earlier days.

My own most embarrassing blackout was when I went to the ladies room by mistake. Nobody was there but I did all four walls while I spun and staggered around looking for the men's urinal. Ladies didn't speak to me for weeks and the men weren't thrilled either so lots of people filled in my blank spot until I remembered. :/ I've done worse but never felt worse about it. :) Your not the only one thats been humiliated but you don't ever have to do it because of drinking again!

I have not had a blackout since I quit drinking. For me it was entirely alcohol related. You'll find it easier if you stay away from PEOPLE PLACES and THINGS that you associate with alcohol. If asked about not drinking, My favorite answer is either, No thank you not today or sometimes I say, I think I'll pass today. Usually people don't press any further but if they do, I might say, I think I have developed an allergy or something to alcohol. Hope that helps a bit.

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP, Kassie. Thankyou for your honesty, humility & openness. You're asking for help & that's a great place to start. We can & really want to help you too. Pretty much cuz we share the same problem means we can identify with you & share how it was for us & how different it is today. I drank up until 29 & I couldn't take any more. My humiliation was continuous & repetitive & I alienated alot of people & most of all myself. It was such a lonely place in drink & I hated that for some people that's all they saw of me & thought that how I behaved in drink was who I was. Which, for me, I suppose it was & that's another very good reason why I don't wish to drink today. Now, I really enjoy that even though I can be quite an anxious person, I don't have to carry on ruining my self~image by repeating the same behaviours as I always seemed to end up in from drinking. This is a long, slow 1Day@aTime process but you can change too, if you want to. The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. You can come here & share with us. You can ask anything either here or a female in private messaging depending on whether what you want to share is general or sensitive. You can call the AA helpline if you want to speak to someone directly who will understand & have been where you are. They can help you get to your first few meetings too. Try a few & some different ones to see where you're comfortable. It's a great place to meet & make new, sober friends & the beauty of it is, we're all growing so much together that our lives no longer revolve around drinking. And that, for me, is a miracle & such a relief. I didn't want to live in humiliation any more. Now it's about developing my own self~acceptance & that for the world around me. Without a drink. Which is amazing! I hope you get something of what you need. Today. Keep coming back ;) Danielle x

Quetzal · MIP Old Timer

Hi Kassie,

Welcome to MIP.

A lot of us have been black-out drinkers and know exactly where you are coming from. But, there is help available. Try checking out AA meetings in your area. You'll find that the rooms are filled with lovely people who all want to help you to stay sober. The great thing about meetings, for me, is that I can identify with so much of what is shared and it gives me strength and hope to keep going one day at a time. And, I now have some truly wonderful friends.

Please keep posting and letting us know how things are going for you, won't you?

Take care,

Carol

thefemininepersuasion · Newbie

Thanks to everyone for your supportive messages. It's only Day 2, but I am feeling better. It's terrible, but I blacked out so many times that a few times I would be taking a nap during the day and wake up, see the clock say 6pm, but think it was morning and wonder what I did the night before. I know I can't do this alone--OBVIOUSLY. This is a huge step for me and the prospect of making sober friends is very appealing since I'm in my 20's and constantly surrounded by drunks like myself.

Thanks again,

Kassie

lani · MIP Old Timer

Way to go on day two! Im sure youve read the other posts on here and find that it only gets better each day! Not that we wont have challenges to face but its a lot easier facing these things sober and not being afraid!!! Good job!!!

Nisha · Veteran Member

Hi Kassie,

I am not very old in the program, only around 3 weeks sobre.The feelings which u describe are similar to what I had when I was on the verge of breakdown, unable to control my alcohol binging.It took me a while to first realise, and then accept that I cannot control my drinking.That next day I cannot remember things I did while I was drinking.There was this overwhelming feeling of powerlessness also, of despondency, of being 'crsuhed, broken, wings clipped,guilty'-what not! What really heped me was to seek help from AA members, go to meetings, come at this forum, read posts, vent out my own anguish, my experiences. I did realise one thing, noone understands an alcoholic other than a fellow alcoholic.

Do keep coming and sharing.There are so many people who will be with you in ur journey to sobriety.Welcome abroad!

Love,
Nisha

calico · Newbie

Hi Kassie, I'm new too. We can walk this journey together. There is so much support on here from caring people. I'll keep you in my prayers! Calico