One of the most painful things we have to do in our lives is Letting Go.
Sometimes it is Letting Go of things...material things which mean a lot to us, even if only sentimental value.
It may mean Letting Go of feelings. When we hold sadness inside, and try to mask it with only a show of happiness, it is better to let it go, to feel the sadness so it washes through us. A good cry can be cleansing.
Sometimes, we have to let go of someone we care for very deeply when we realize that person does not care for us in the same way. Maybe it is best to leave them remembering us with whatever kind of feeling they do have for us. It may not be possible to hide our own deeper feelings for that person, which could make their life uncomfortable. Letting Go may be the best gift we can give them because they may realize how we feel, yet care enough not to want to hurt us.
Even when we know a relationship is not right, on both sides, or one person has a doubt about it, it is hard to let go of something that seems secure. We often accept less than the best because we cant bear to let go.
There are occasions when we feel something wonderful for someone, but we dont express it for fear of being rejected. Sometimes our feelings will be rejected. Yet, what if we withhold it from the one person who could very well be that One Special Someone in our lives and they too have been afraid to express their true feelings, or dont even realize their true feelings yet! How sad that we may miss The Best for fear of Letting Go of the expression of those feelings.
Whatever the reason, or situation, it is never easy Letting Go. ------------------Letting Go Author unknown
To "let go" does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.
To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To "let go" is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.
To "let go" it not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings, and correct them.
To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.
To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To "let go" is to fear less, and love more.
-------------------------------------
-- Edited by Phil at 21:35, 2008-03-11
__________________
Live each day as if it were your last...because tomorrow?
It might be.
Beautiful, thanks Phil!!! Its nice to see you around again!!!!
Whats that saying about.. If you love something let it go, If it was yours, it will come back... Or is it, set it free? Cant remember.... Lani
__________________
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
2 situations in life which currently have been threatening to me- one my break up with boyfriend and 2nd my relation with my dad- and for both 'letting go' has helped me see a new light.And reinforce a lot of things.Thank you for the beautiful post.
__________________
The most practical, beautiful, workable philosophy won't work- if you won't.
Thanks for that Phil, it came at just the right time for me. On the second of january I had to walk away from a 16 year friendship with a woman I loved more that life. We had always been close, but two years ago we embarked on a disastrous sexual affair which left us both damaged. I was in the throes of active addictions, and she had just come out of a violent, long term relationship. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I believe now it was the worst possible thing we could have involved ourselves in. It reached a point where I knew I would never get sober, or that she would be happy, if we continued to see each other and so I walked away. It has broken my heart. I often think of her, and wonder how she is. I genuinely hope she is happy and contented, and I wish I could tell her that, but I can't. It's only a matter of time before we bump into each other, and that scares me. Perhaps I'm coming of as selfish, I don't mean to, but I really have no skills in handling these situations. I hope God will direct me in what is correct, and that I do no more damage to this woman through my co-dependance and manipulative behavior. I now see I behaved like a boy, and not the man I would like to think I am. Maturing as an adult, after years of selfish behavior is confusing, frustrating and painful but oddly, I find great beauty in the process. Love Malcolm
I really feel for what you've shared, Malcolm. To come so far in a friendship with someone; to think on some level that you can trust to take it somewhere; to fall in without realising & ruin what was there in the first place, I can only imagine how hard & painful that must be for you. I'm truly sorry for your loss & for the grief you must be feeling now. An expensive lesson it would seem but an important one, hey? To hurt someone else as much as we hurt ourselves. So sad. It's tapped into a soft place inside me where I let someone go daily too. & everyone I've ever loved who's not near me now. I let them go daily too. To feel like afterall that was experienced, those people were in our lives for a day, a season or a life~time to serve a special & particular purpose. To bring a gift, a learning & whatever was needed for that time & then, with time, to learn to let go with grace & gratitude. Sadness, softness & safety. Where all we can do today is perhaps bless them, wish them well in our prayers & promise to treat people we know now with better skill & compassion. My heart's with you in empathy & care, Malcolm. Please forgive the personal tone of my share. In recognition for what you've shared.. I want to let go too. God bless us, each one of us, in our healing.. Danielle x
-- Edited by Sobrietyspell at 19:32, 2008-03-12
__________________
Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
I've been beating myself up a little bit as I watch a family member paddle upstream on that river in Egypt and that poem helped me find what I'm supposed to do.
Thank you so much Daniellle. I'm finding in AA that the further along I travel, the more people at home and abroad understand what I have to go through to stay sober, and that gives me a lot of comfort. And I want to thank you for the personal tone of your post, there is a hugh amount of humanity and warmth there. Thanks, Malcolm.
Thanks Dean. i did go back out for a week. It was awful, worse than ever (the book is never wrong, it is so progressive, it's frightening). I got myself back into the rooms and the program of AA. It's not easy, but it's the only life for me. Bought 2 tickets for my hero Leonard Cohen who's playing Dublin on June 14th, I'm so excited, waited all my life to see him sing. And I am going to do it sober. With the help of God, and my brothers and sisters in AA. Malcolm
