Today

Nisha · Veteran Member

Today

Sept_19_2002 · Veteran Member

Hi Nisha,

Thanks for being here again today. These feelings may appear awkward in these early days. In the past alcohol was used to push them away. As sobriety continues within the program we learn more and more on how to deal with them.

It's great that your sister is being supportive at this time. You won't find it unusual in these rooms that people we thought would be surprised aren't and in reality are relieved that we are here and trying to quit drinking.

Continue to commit yourself to your sobriety and your recovery. You, your family, your work, everything will evolve as you go forward without turning to drinking again. You will have good days and you will have bad days. This is normal when you live life on life's terms. Staying sober will show you how to lengthen the good days and shorten the ones that aren't. But most importantly sobriety will give you a chance everyday smile

Keep reaching out in the program, go to meetings, talk to people in the program, share here. There's lots of us who have turned from alcohol and found new, better beginnings. You're doing great. Keep coming back biggrin

Sick of being sick · MIP Old Timer

I used to use alcohol to get through any and all life's situations, being moderately intoxicated almost every waking moment that I wasn't at my job.

Of course, there were episodes when I would go beyond moderate to being stumbling drunk, but they were infrequent. I mostly had to just get a comfortable booze insulation between me and my feelings, and maintain it until I went to sleep at the end of the day.

I even reasoned that the alcohol helped me to feel like doing even simple tasks around my home. It was pretty funny actually, because, although having a drink at hand made me more motivated to do household repairs, the mild alcoholic haze that I was always under tended to make for some sloppy repair jobs due to my lack of attention.

It took me a long period of sobriety to realize that I could get better results with a clear head, even if it was more difficult to get motivated on a task at first.

Nisha · Veteran Member

The initial motivation to do something concrete at work seems to be missing most of the times, but once I start on something, it becomes simpler. The strategy I have adopted now is to start with something less formidable, complete it, feel good about it, take a pause and start working on something more difficult.Sometimes the latter stretches out for days altogether, but perhaps is worth it coz it doesn't put the unnecessary stress on my head.

I also imagined in my very early days the motivation of drink making me do lots, but yes, now on retrospect, the output quality was not great especially when it had to do something like research.For slogging out on the tour, weeks back to back, or managing an event, working 12-14 hours-the lure of booze was enough to give me the push.But shit, I do not 'really' need alcohol to give me these 'pushes'.I am capable enough to do it on my own!! Yes, I will face the low moments, the trying moments, the losing motivation at times, but it gets better with each day, I am experiencing it!

Thanks to my higher power for keeping me sobre and sound another day..and I worked today even, feel great!!!

Sept_19_2002 · Veteran Member

This is great news Nisha. You're doing all the right things.

Thanks for sharing it with us. Keep coming back biggrin

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

Well done, Nisha. You are doing really well & it's obvious how much you want this. It's taken awhile for me to get any clarity regarding work & I've found the pressure to perform well stressful at times. In my early recovery I've suffered a great lack of confidence & this has undermined my decision-making capabilities but with the peace that's seeping in now I'm finding a quieter confidence with equal openmindedness too. I'm having to let go of what I thought was me & allowing maturity & experience to come in & take its place. Whatever changes you may experience in these next few months, let them come slowly & try not to expect anything to be a certain way or for you to return to any form. Your changes could be anything but what you could expect so give yourself that freedom. With regards to what you were saying around your Ex, I'm deeply impressed, relieved & grateful that you found it within you to let that go in your 1Day@aTime. It didn't sound like that situation was any good for you at all & the strength you've shown in moving on from that with grace has been magnificent too. This will also let you change in new ways. Keep up your good work, Nisha. I'm glad you have support at home. All of these positives are mercies in your journey & for you to come here & share it with MIP as well is amazing. Thanks for being here. Wishing you well, Danielle x

lani · MIP Old Timer

Yeah Nisha!
You sound great and it really does get better! It is not without struggles but we can and do get thru them!

I think back on the times where I thought I had come up with the most brilliant decorated ideas while drinking! My poor family would come home and I painted our family room a bright magenta! The hall way to the laundry room looked like the door way to HELL!

Or buying a load of rocks to put around my flower beds! My husband hated it and I had to pick up all those dang rocks!!! They do look nice around our pool tho!!! haha

Now I learn to discuss these home improvement things with my husband before doing them so I dont have to repaint or move a shit load of rocks!!!!

Lani