Hi Jen, What came to mind......JC2008's post "Grrrrr". PMS....LOL Seriously.......amends never easy. Our egos tend to make excuses for our ill mannered behaviour/words to shield us from feeling guilt or shame and taking steps to correct ourselves (actions and words). Just as there is the choice to drink or not, there is a choice to handle a situation in more positive constructive ways. Yes, alcohol tends to free one's inhibitions. However, after having been sober for some time......was it really the alcohol that motivated the slap and locking the keys in the trunk or is 'I'm a recoverin' drunk' used as an excuse? Could the situation been handled differently......perhaps just walking away? I was soooo hurt and angry inside at AH over his adultery. Not once, not twice, but on three different occassions I DID slap him across the face and hard. I never thought that it possible that I would allow myself to do that and of course it only made matters worse. The point that I was trying to make was justified......the manner in which it was done WAS NOT! In AA and other programs of recovery it is often stressed that alcohol is used as a mask. One "hides" under the veil of it to sheild one from whatever is the underlying cause that leads one to drink. We learn have a choice to control our drinking and we have choices to cope with other situations in better ways. The post gave me a good laugh! Wasn't sure thought if you were having difficulty with the step or not.......thus my thoughts. Hugs, Wanda
It took me a bit to become WILLING to even do Step 8 ! I found the "will", now I find it's going to be difficult to make amends to some.......Cause guess what that bitch deserved to be slapped! Just wish I'd been sober when I did it! No amends would be needed.....I no longer make excuses! I am a DRUNK is a FACT. And because of that I did some things to some people that I would not have done if I were sober!
I most definately 'hid' in the bottom of a bottle of booze! Do you think you're telling me something I don't know......
The point of my share was this!
It's going to be difficult for me to apologize to some people that I have harmed. Others, it will be easy.........It was a bit of humor to help me through it for the moment! Sorry if some of you didn't get it!
Dean-O, my ex is grateful I didn't own a tazer! LOL
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Amends are good to talk about. Thats a tricky one really. Were trying to repair the harm done. I hopefully have inventoried the harm done or maybe got it on step eight list.
Perhaps you helped this person.:) Honestly I can see an opportunity for some monetary damage. I'd prepare myself for being willing to pay for a locksmith, taxis or other things that may have resulted from the key part of it. I'd be careful on the slap part though. You don't want to set yourself up for a whoopin or worse. Thats not what these are about. Few would insist on striking you to get even but some sickos could. A slap damages nothing more than the pride. Possibly that is what you have damaged. I have quite a few times apologized for making a person think less of themselves and followed it up with a list of true good qualities they possess. Perhaps more importantly, I have tried to treat them (as best I could) like they are a valuable member of God's human race also. Quite often people are jerks in search of self esteem. I bow down humbly and give it to them but on God's terms not theirs. I don't mention God at all but I look at them from God's perspective and My God loves that person just as much as he loves me. Several times as I have extended God's love, these sick people have been healed and free, possibly freed of a resentment that chews up their valuable soul just like resentments do to mine.
She was my best friend.......and...........she was screwing my husband!
See why it's soooooo tough! I haven't seen her in years, but I still know folks who do....she hasn't changed much from what I hear.....the BB says I have to realize she's sick also.......I have to make amends and I have to let it go.....after 15 years it still 'eats my lunch' every once in a while.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Hi Doll, my sponsors told me that stuff that happened between my and other alcoholics while we were drinking were, for the most part, par for the course whether they or I was on the receiving end. You probably saved the girls life and if she was drunk then she probably didn't feel it.
Hey I'm guessing this one doesn't bother you as much as some other amends on your list. I was told to work them in the order of which ones are bugging you the most. If you don't know what to say to this gal, maybe it's not that important. When it becomes important then you'll think of somthing to say. After all, this is for your benefit, not hers.
Dean wrote: ".........stuff that happened between my and other alcoholics while we were drinking were, for the most part, par for the course whether they or I was on the receiving end."
Dean-O my friend, I've NEVER heard that one.....But I think I like it! That would elimate 3 people on my list! Woo hoo!!!! BLESS you.
As for 'that' chick. I don't know if she was drunk that night or not.....Now what?
I think the biggest one's are my son and my John! But, those are also the easiest ones in a sense. I make "living' amends to each of them daily......The HARDEST, my ex mother in law -OMG!!!
Thanks for the kudos. It's really amazing when more is revealed........
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
