New Guy here, wanted to introduce myself

Pse2313 · Newbie

New Guy here, wanted to introduce myself

Sept_19_2002 · Veteran Member

Welcome Pse,

You're in the right place and you're amongst friends. God, or as some of us call him here, our Higher Power loves you as he always has.

When I first got to these rooms I carried a lot of guilt and shame. Someone kindly told me that God loves the Sinner and not the sin. By separating the two it helped me stop committing sins and become a good person. I spent a lifetime not caring for anyone or anything, manipulating all around me to stay loaded. I discovered that it was okay to be good person and over time I have learned how to become a better person with the desire to keep on getting better.

What was done in the past is done. This program of AA can give you the tools to go forward. Another kind soul once shared that he too was having trouble dealing with loved ones who were having trouble trusting and loving him again. This fellow shared that he asked, the ones that were ready to listen, forgiveness and that he was a changed man, that he was sober and the only person he never wanted to see again was his old self. By this time the man sharing had tears in his eyes and said, "If you ever see me becoming like that again please help me. And then looking at us listening he said, "Bring me here."

Many of us, by the grace of God have changed, one day at a time.

Go to meetings, go to meetings and do the steps. Everything will fall into place. By staying sober we have the chance to end the insanity and to find love for ourselves, our higher power, our families and all that love us.

Thanks for being here today. Keep coming back biggrin

lani · MIP Old Timer

Welcome Psr:
Glad you found MIP. Your in the right direction and Im glad youre here!
We regretfully cannot change the past but we can make life much more enjoyable. My life has gotten WAY better in the last 4 months of being in AA. Go to a meeting, check it out, you'll see and feel that you are not alone! The first step is admitting we have a problem and doing something about it!!!

Keep coming back and share your success with us!!!
Lani

Quetzal · MIP Old Timer

Hi Pse,

Welcome to MIP. It's good to have you here.

I always drank more than my friends, but put that down to 'working hard and playing hard'. I never thought that I would have a real problem with it.

I went to my first AA meeting when I was thirty-nine and stayed around the rooms for eight weeks. I didn't drink and felt that life could get so much better for me. Then, in a moment of sheer stupidity, I decided that I couldn't be an alcoholic and that I just needed to control my drinking.

Within a very short space of time I was facing losing everything. But, I carried on drinking as I couldn't not drink. That carried on for another eighteen months.

By the time I got back to AA I was carrying a great deal of guilt and shame around with me. But, by going to regular meetings, finding a sponsor, working the steps and getting involved with AA my life has changed out of all recognition.

I can't change the past, but I can stay sober for just one day at a time and move forward from there. I now have my self-respect and pride back again; people trust me once more; I no longer have to lie to cover my drinking; I don't have to live with the consequences of my drunken actions of the day before and so on.

Just hang in there and it really will start to get better for you.

Please keep posting and letting us know how it is all going for you, won't you?

Take care,

Carol

Doll · MIP Old Timer

Hi and welcome to MIP.

What a blessing you've been given.........I had to chuckle a bit at 'I let a beverage control my life' - If it were only that simple.......

Please keep coming and keep posting.

((((Hugs)))

Jen

eastcoastscott · Senior Member

Hiya PSE,

Wow, awesome to see you here, you sound so together and yes alcohol has been a factor in your feeling crappy at times. Please feel welcome here, we have all been there and just may be able to guide you a bit. Let's face it, you are 26, if you can get a handle on this fatal disease, you should be able to save yourself so many years of crap ahead of you. I wish I had the sense to get help earlier. One thing is for sure, if you are in fact an alcoholic (to get to this point, like you did indicates you may be), you didn't ask for this disease and you are not at fault. You can effectively treat alcoholism and have an incredibly happy and fulfilling life without booze and drugs. We here are proof of that. There are many newcomers here, take it all in and ask tons of questions!! You made my day just by showing up...thanks!!!

Scott

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hey Terry,

Welcome to the board. Sounds like you're at the crossroads with your drinking. You've recognized that your drinking has progressed to a point where you are no longer in control once you start drinking. The results are unpredictable as your life, health, family affairs, relationships, public standing, and self esteem are being damaged by your behavior when you drink too much, which seems to be a lot of the time. And those around you are more aware of then you think. Sounds like you still stand to lose a lot if you can't get a handle on this. Kudos for looking for a solution before the losses pile up. Most people have to lose a lot or all before they get to the turning point.

We all suffered over these same issues before surrendering to the idea that we can no longer drink safely. Alcohol was our big friend for many years, and then it turned on us and became our worst enemy. This is a progressive disease and the longer that we wait to treat it, the harder it is. Why don't you give
this program a try? You've got nothing to lose and can always go back to drinking. Here's a meeting list for Jax. I used to live there btw and live in St. Petersburg now. http://www.neflaa.org/q16a.php. I would recommend going to a speakers meeting, then a beginners meeting, and check out a men's meeting. The meeting type is in the last column and there is a link to the key for meeting codes at the top of the column.

Looks like there is an AA club (which has several meetings every day to choose from) at 322 Penman rd. Jax Beach. I got sober in a club in northern VA. I liked it because I didn't have to use a meeting schedule as there where meetings there every day (memory isn't what it used to be weirdface

). Also you get to know people fairly quickly at clubs and there is a sense of community and people going out for coffee or to dinner after meetings. A lot of clubs have a juice bar and serve some food, so people hang out there. A large part of this is making friends and realizing that there is life without booze and life is good.

It's recommended to call the local AA intergroup in your area (904) 399-8535. They can recommend some meetings and have someone take you to your first meeting. I did that and many of us have. Also if you still have base privileges, there may be meeting there. The key is to relate to the meetings. The message is the same everywhere, and we realize that over time, but at first our disease trys to get us to compare out and walk out the door so we'll continue drinking. So give it 90 days and try and go to as many meetings as you can. A lot of us did 90 meetings in 90 days to insure that we stayed sober. I actually missed only 2 meetings in the first 3 years. And there's not enough bandwidth here for me to tell you what a difference it made over the time I've been here. Good luck in your journey. smile

Dean

-- Edited by StPeteDean at 08:05, 2008-03-04

jc2008 · Veteran Member

Hi Terry,

I'm very new, too (13 days), so I don't have much wisdom to share. But I wanted to share with you that I too feel guilty and ashamed for things that I've done, and unworthy of love. I sometimes wonder, why haven't I gotten a DUI yet? Why does my husband still love me, in spite of the pain I've put him through? Why do I still have a job, a home, beautiful kids, etc., when others like me have nothing? There were times -- recently -- that I didn't even believe I deserved to live.

In just two short weeks, I've found great comfort in attending meetings and talking to other recovering alcoholics (by phone and here). I've discovered that there are many, many people who have gone through similar things. They have welcomed me with open arms, and shown me great kindness. They are happy, generous, and eager to help. If they used to be like me, and now they are so changed, maybe there is hope for me? I don't think they are bad people, so maybe I'm not bad, either. Just sick.

Another thing that has helped me a lot is reading what folks in AA call the Big Book. There is a lot written in it about the insidious nature of this disease. It really resonated with me, and is helping me to recognize that I have a disease, not an inherent badness, that makes me drink and lose control.

I have a long, long way to go. For now, it is all I can do to wake up, get dressed, come to work, and go to meetings. I am nowhere near ready to work on my character defects, or make amends to the people I've hurt. For now, I am focusing all of my energy on not drinking. Hopefully, if I can stay sober, I can work on those other things in time.

I hope you decide to stick around. I'm relatively young, too, which sometimes makes me think, I can't be that bad; I still have more years of drinking before I go as low as others have. But why would I want to do that? If I continue to drink, I will lose everything, and eventually die. I am absolutely convinced of it.

I hope that some of what I have said is helpful. I am so new, I probably have no business rambling on so. But I wanted you to know that I was right where you are two weeks ago. If you just hang on, you will start to feel better in remarkably short order.

I wish you all the best.

Jen

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Well said ^^^^ Jen, your comments are very inspirational and accurate.

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP, Terry. It's great to have you here. I spend a good portion of my time soaking in the warmth & wisdom of this forum too. It seems like you're making a great beginning & I just want to offer you reassurance that there is life after your drinking. You're in a wonderful position to nip it just before it gets any worse. We can get off that roundabout at any level & our rockbottom can be simply when we say 'Enough'. If you write down or share the negative things your drinking has brought you it will help you to remember how far you've come when you look back in awhile & have begun to feel better about yourself You can use it in your stepwork too if you can find a sponsor to help you. It helps to serve as a reminder of where you never want to go back to again. 26 may seem like a young time to have to give up on something we've been attached to for so long but the way I think of it at 29/30/31 is that I had 15yrs of that indulgence before it brought me to my knees (I was on my knees lots of times but didn't realise it was the alcohol ~ I thought that it was just me & that I couldn't handle it like it was my fault, my inadequacy & all I had to do was to learn & then be like 'other people' or non~alcoholics!) There's a new way of living on offer in AA & it means never having to feel alone or helpless again. I love the shared purpose here. To live sober 1Day@aTime. I did a main share at a meeting last night & it really helped me. I haven't been to alot of meetings lately with my wanting to resist the help & do it by myself! When I'm like that it's such a blessing to have MIP. I learn so much here & it helps to keep the message strong for me. Sometimes I can lose touch with how powerful a meeting can be so I'll be glad if you're considering your first few. These are exciting times & you'll be made to feel welcome. I was grateful to give that share & say thankyou for how everyone cared for me & shared their kind words & concern with me. One of the most beautiful things about meetings, besides the fellowship, refreshments & making new friends is the identification & acceptance we get with others ~ fellow alkies ;) You never have to feel alone again. We're here for you too. Keep on sharing & coming back, Terry. Your story is alot like mine & I'm glad Jen has given her experience, strength & hope with you too. Great inspiration. Thanks to you both for being here & helping me to stay sober today. Danielle x

jonijoni · MIP Old Timer

Welcome, Pse. I soooo understand and feel for where you are at. I have sat right there in your shoes, and I understand. I let my alcohol problem take me even farther, and let me assure you, there is NOTHING that alcohol cannot eventually TAKE from you.

It is good that you feel close to God right now. My concept of God has changed, and I understand now that I needed very much to fail at drinking, in order ot have the awesome relationship that I have with Him today, which only keeps getting better, with more and more freedom being granted me as the days go by.

One of the hardest things for me early on was changing my "playmates and my playgrounds". I had to change who I hung out with, and where I went. No offense to my old friends, but I had to concentrate on saving what was left of my tattered life. I had to start making some contacts in AA, so that I could continue to have a social life, and also so I had sober friends to lean on and help me learn about recovery. I hope you can get to an AA meeting soon! They are all a little different, so try several and see what you think!

I hope you will choose to get to a meeting. I have found new hope and an awesome group of friends there, both professional people, and non-professional. We all have one thing in common no matter what our backgrounds, and that is that we are trying our best to be free of alcohol, one day at a time.

I was just in the sunshine state over Christmas visiting my dad (he is a snow-bird..lol). It was lovely, and now that I am back home in Ohio, I do hope you will continue to post here and send us northerners some sunshine!!!!

Joni

Tuggboat · Senior Member

Late to the party her but Welcome :)

I quit at 26 for a couple months. I think it was 26. It was January after all the football games. I actually did pretty good sober but when my birthday rolled around I couldn't imagine camping and cooking without drinking so I reluctantly popped the top so I wouldn't spoil my own party/vacation.

It was 6 more years till I drew a sober breath at the age of 32. Long hard ride. You don't have to go any further down the road than you are Honesty openmindedness and willingness, perhaps willingness to go to any lenght to overcome alcohol are very helpful assets.

Keep coming back. :)

learning · MIP Old Timer

Terry,
Welcome to MIP. I will add nothing more to the wisdom, welcomes and advice already given. It takes work. Best to you, Wanda

Phil · MIP Old Timer

Welcome!!

TenderheartsKS · Senior Member

Welcome! I too had an uncanny knack for turning to God when I was in trouble, and that was the only time. Of course I'd promise to never do this and never do that if God would just help me through the mess, and predictably, I'd screw up again.

I misinterpretted it as God punishing me for not following through, but today I know it had nothing to do with God, and everything to do with me and my alcoholic mind which made poor decisions!

I went to rehab at age 28, and was blessed to stay sober for 4 years. However I became terminally unique and had to go out and research some more.

Thank God I didn't die or end up in jail. I don't care to repeat that experience.

Please stick around and keep sharing. This is a great group of folks!