Save for the brief moments of temptation the thought of drink has never returned; and at such times a great revulsion has risen up in him. Seemingly he could not drink even if he would. God had restored his sanity. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 37
The word "God" was frightening to me when I first saw it associated with A.A.'s Twelve Steps. Having tried all the means I could to stop drinking, I found that it was not possible for me to sustain that desire over a period of time. Yet, how could I believe in a "God" that had allowed me to sink to the deep despair that engulfed me--whether drinking or dry? The answer was in finally admitting that it might be possible for me to know the mercy of a Power greater than myself who could grant me sobriety contingent on my willingness to "come to believe." By finally admitting that I was one among many, and by following the example of my sponsor and other A.A. members in practicing faith I did not have, my life has been given meaning, direction and purpose.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
The word 'God' scares me still. 'Higher Power' sounds more acceptable to me. I had no faith when I walked into AA. Now its growing each day. I know one day will come when I will feel more close to the higher power than ever, and perhaps I will be able to 'surrender'. Your experience gives me hope.Thank you for sharing.
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The most practical, beautiful, workable philosophy won't work- if you won't.
Reading postings like that are very uplifting. I am new to this online forum, I wanted a place to talk, or type rather, about my feelings and the struggles I am going through. I do believe in God and can feel his hand in my life, my drinking, more specifically not knowing how or when to stop has caused me a great many heartaches in the past year. I feel that now I am hanging in the balance between pulling myself out of this and loosing everything. I'm not sure if everyone had a moment of clarity, I know I did and I think it is one of the most powerful experiences I have ever had. It upsets me that my life had to get this out of control for me to realize what was happening. I don't dislike drinking, I dislike the fact that I cannot stop once I start and I don't like how I act when I'm drunk. I can say my moment of clarity was on Friday night. I realize now how badly I've messed up my life. I was just looking for some support, not pitty, but someone or a group of people who have been in the same place as me. I feel very lonely right now.
