But I didn't....Nothing unusual is going on. Life is pretty steady these days. I'm feeling better physically.... It started last Friday. I wanted to drink! It was a little better Saturday, but I still thought of chugging a beer or 2. Then by yesterday I had thoughts of how I could hide it from John! I wanted to tell him but I was ashamed. I was felt so guilty I didn't even call anyone for fear he'd know..... I wondered where these cravings came from. I haven't had them in quite a while and I haven't had them this bad since 2005! ..... then I remembered
I'M AN ALCOHOLIC!
I have slacked off on meetings and haven't spoken to my sponsor in several days.... I'll get to 2 meetings today for sure and call my sponsor... I have set aside time tomorrow night for a BB study ... I realize I've become complacent. And that has no room in my recovery...........AND ... I WILL talk to John TONIGHT!
Thanks for letting me share.
__________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
ACK!!! Complacency strikes again..... about 7 months or more of complacency toward AA is what killed my 3 yrs just this past November. All it took was for one little "life-thingy" to blindside me, and I was without mental defense against the first drink.
So happy that you are committing yourself to hitting more meetings and reading the BB. You are doing exactly what I should have done, and it is a good example for me once I get some more time again..... thank you.
(((hugs))) Joni
__________________
~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
It seems that physical cravings can hit without warning, even long after a lengthy period of abstinence.
Thank goodness, I have found they are less frequent as the years go by.
I was talking just last week to a friend who told me that he hadn't smoked in over 15 years, and yet, has still had the occasion when he felt an urge to smoke. As he said, "I'm just thankful that they are fewer and farther between these days; sometimes I can go almost a full year before the next one."
Sometimes the only thing that stands between us and a drink is a meeting (or a sponsor).
Hey Doll Get those to but have found first and foremost: Admit right that second to someone!!!! Im afraid if I dont share where Im at-I'll drink! No if, and or butts! Was always afraid in the beginning I'd be laughed at for saying I wanted to drink, almost daily!!!! So your doing the right thing, as you know! Hit some meetings and talk, talk, talk!!!!
Even sharing on here has saved my butt more than once!!! Good "sober" luck!!!!! Lani
__________________
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Nope, no mood altering or pain meds. I don't need them for 1 and 2 I have a terrible fear of trading addictions.
Funny about the smoking, bob, I've been smoke free for over a year and I really wanted to smoke this weekend too! After all, can't have a drink without a Marlboro! LOL
Thanks, all....feeling some better. Still didn't get to speak to my sponor. She was at the noon meeting but appeared more concerned with handing out belated Valentine gifts for other sponcees children. So, I've left a msg for my sponsor that moved away. Praying she'll call me tonight......
(((hugs))) everyone....
__________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
I was curious about the meds as I am sooo terrified to take anything now, even switched to alcohol free crest mouthwash!....I know the pain meds I got starting 4 years ago contributed to my relapse so am super conscious now.
__________________
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha
